" There ’s an app for that " is no longer just a cheeky turn of set phrase . We ’ve reached the point where there ’s quite literally an app for just about everything you could imagine . Plenty areunexpectedly utile , some cansave you big money , and others are perfectly suitable forpassing metre while you poop . But considering how prosperous it is for any old shmuck toturn theirbrilliantapp melodic theme into a reality , it should n’t make out as a shock that some of the Google Play and and App Store offering are , uh , less than spectacular . To wit , here are some of the more laughable apps in creation that absolutely no one is demand for .
Send Me To Heaven (S.M.T.H.)
What it does : Challenges you to toss your phone in the strain as high as possibleAndroid : FreeThis app – which essentially dare its drug user not to smash their phones to smithereens – use the twist ’s accelerometer to measure how high you’re able to throw it up in the air , then plot your progress on an app - full leaderboard . iPhone users are out of fate , though , as Applerefused to allow it into the App sStoreon score of it " encourage behavior that could result in impairment to the substance abuser ’s machine . " You do n’t say !
Is it dark outside?
What it does : Informs you whether or not it ’s dingy outside in your current locationiOS : FreeAndroid : FreeFinally , an app that supply to the needs of one of the world ’s most mercilessly maligned group : vampires !
Fix a Fight
What it does : Mediates arguments and " repairs wound " between you and your partneriOS:$4.99What better way to mend a fight than with an app that prompts you to pass your phone back and forth with your partner as you range the intensity of your various intuitive feeling and grievances . Although , to be fair , if you ’re both too trashy to pay for actual couples counseling – the sort thatisn’tconducted by a real cartoon – then you ultimately merit each other !
Cry Translator
What it does : Interprets your baby ’s criesiOS:$4.99Remember the frankfurter inUpwith the collar that translated what he was think ? This is sort of like that , only it " translates " the rallying cry of babies to let you know what they need , and is 100 % not a caper . Only one trouble : it ’s ludicrous . You might as well throw out out your $ 5 with your baby ’s next dirty diaper .
Virtual cigarette smoking
What it does : allow you virtually fume cigarettesAndroid : FreeListen , I ’m all for doing what you need to do to fall by the wayside a nasty habit , but there ’s pay off to be a better way of life to kick malignant neoplastic disease - stick than with an app that allows you to " smoke " them by blow up on your phone ’s microphone . Also , please keep your lip off your telephone set –it ’s fucking filthy !
Taxi Hold’em
What it does : Flashes the word " TAXI " on your CRT screen to get cabriolet drivers ' attentioniOS : FreeIn my personal experience , hailing a cab is pretty simple . You bemuse up your branch as a taxi plan of attack , and if they ’re on duty , they slacken down and pluck you up . Flashing the parole " TAXI " in 72 - point font on your phone likely is n’t going to ameliorate your chances of hitching a ride . If anything , driver will probably avoid you and your flailing " TAXI " beacon because of how objectionable it is .
Daily Water
What it does : dog how many glasses of water you ’ve downed during the dayiOS : FreeIt ’s genuine , I do n’t know you , but I ’m uncoerced to bet you do n’t need an app to eff whether or not you ’re feeling thirsty . Hell , I even have faith that you may keep track of roughlyhow much water you ’ve had to fuddle today . You rockstar , you !
Couple
What it does : Provides a " private " message political program for you and your partner to chat and stuffiOS : FreeAndroid : FreeAre you in an incredibly unhealthy co - hooked relationship ? Do you yearn for a place to pass with your pregnant other that ’s like text messaging , but vaguely different and more complicated ? Oh boy , have we pay off an app for you . Couple is essentially just a run - of - the - James Mill messaging app that lets you " in camera " exchange textbook , photos , to - do lists , " spikelet , " and even share your placement with one another . You guys , I call up they ’re on to something …
Yo
What it does : Lets you send the great unwashed a text substance that just state " Yo"iOS : FreeAndroid : FreeYo was wide mocked from the moment it set in motion a span years ago for being the world ’s dense app – since its sole purpose is to send hoi polloi a school text message that says " Yo " – yet it somehow bring off to earn a valuation of $ 10 million . for sure , investors and insiders who wereproclaiming it the next Twittersaw something we did n’t , right ? Well , two age and various update afterwards , Yo is still as stupid and useless as ever .
iBeer
What it does : countenance you virtually " booze " a beer out of your phoneiOS : FreeAndroid : FreeIt ’s tough to imagine any scenario in which the right affair to do is welt out your phone and affect to knock back an animated glass of beer . If you ’re not going to drink , why bother even pretending ? pantomime ? Is this your doing ?
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Screenshot via Yo/Oren Aks
Screenshot via SMTH/Oren Aks
Screenshot via Is It Dark Outside?/Oren Aks
Screenshot via FixAFight/Oren Aks
Screenshot via Cry Translator/Oren Aks
Screenshot via Virtual Cigarette Smoking/Oren Aks
Screenshot via Taxi Hold’em/Oren Aks
Screenshot via Daily Water/Oren Aks
Screenshot via Couple App/Oren Aks
Screenshot via Yo/Oren Aks
Screenshot via iBeer/Oren Aks