10 Things I Will Never Understand About Atlanta

As a Florida native , I ’ve travelled extensively around the South … primarily , to start the swampy apocalyptic hellscape that is Florida . And during my jubilant gallivanting , I ’ve had the great pleasure to pass through Atlanta a number of times ( and no , not only during a layover at Hartsfield - Jackson ) and take in so much of what ATL has to tender . I ’ve sampled yourcuisines . I ’ve frequented yourbars . I ’ve watched yourshow , written , directed , and asterisk Donald Glover .

Still , I have my questions . For case , why the hell are so many street nominate Peachtree ? And why are your strip nightclub so demonstrably dope ? After many lidless nights , I decided to found an investigation . My first stop was the program library … where I could use their net for innocent . It was there I realized I had unintentionally take the red pill and descend down the lapin hole ( and not theone that sells gonzo figurineson Colquitt Ave ) . It led me to an knowingness that there are really a lot of things I simply do n’t realize about Atlanta … 10 to be exact .

Just what in the hell is “Hotlanta?”

" live ' Lanta " was an instrumental Allman Brothers Band strain that only appear on live albums , as it ’s a jam . Not THE kettle of fish , but a jam nevertheless . Since this recording happened in 1971 , I can only assume that this is the first prison term the parole " hotlanta " was used . But how did it become a nickname for Atlanta ? I ask , because literally everyone in Atlanta hates the moniker . I finger like it ’s the equivalent weight of being call " Panthera tigris " by some guy cable named Rodney who ’s date your mom . Though I suppose " New York of the South " is n’t much well .

What is your signature dish?

I know thatATL brag sinful restaurantsand chef talent . Hell , Staplehouse– O4W ’s crown jewel – was recently describe the best newfangled eating house in the US . I ’m more curious about a specific food for thought or dish . Nashville has hot poulet , NYC has the beigel , Denver – polemically – has green chile , and even Seattle hasteriyaki . But what about you , ATL ? Is it fried Gallus gallus , or perhaps the biscuit ? Nope . Both those items are omnipresent with a slew of southerly cities – from Memphis to Charleston . For being the ninth - largest subway system area in America , not having a specific cup of tea to lay claim to is … suspicious . That say , you do pride yourself onphenomenal gas station solid food , which not a lot of situation can do .

The traffic

MARTA ca n’t be that bad , right ? If you Google " Atlanta traffic , " you ’ll get an image of what looks like a freshly remove human heart . Everything is red , and nothing is moving .

Whatever happened to Jermaine Dupri?

He produced and work with endowment like Mariah Carey , Usher , Alicia Keys , and Aretha " gravely he worked with her ? " Franklin . At one head – in the mid-’90s– his net worth was around $ 60 million . He welcome us to Atlanta , told us money ai n’t a thing , and created the massive knock label So So Def . Then , the turn point . In 2007 , Dupri published a book titledYoung , Rich , and Dangerous : The qualification of a Music Mogul . In 2007 , Dupri was 35 . He was neither new nor rich , and I ’m unsure if he was ever grievous ( his father was a Columbia Records exec ) . The last project his name ’s been attached to isThe Rap Gamewhich premiere on Lifetime … ostensibly the antithesis of a young , rich , and unsafe television internet .

Why are there so many streets named Peachtree?

There are 71 street with the give-and-take " Peachtree " in their name . Are there even peach trees in Atlanta ? Surely there are n’t 71 . Where the hell are they ? Why is this a affair ? Here ’s the only answer that made horse sense : sometime in the early 1800s when citizenry could n’t pronounce words properly , someone wanted to name a settlement Standing Pitch Tree after the pine trees . This is because pine trees had a lot of sap ( or pitch ) . Then , people kept saying to one another , " Hi neighbour , would you like to go sit by the railway system tracks down in Pitch Tree and talk about muskets or hair tonics ? " But because of their nasal twang , " pitching " turned into " peach , " and for one cause or another , that really , really view on .

MARTA

When I ’ve been to Atlanta , I did n’t need to ride MARTA because my friends have motorcar , which was squeamish . But I did hear masses talk about it all the metre . They hated it . They loved it . They took it to East Point for tiffin . They never hinge on it Downtown , because who move Downtown ? ! They always liked Jan better . MARTA MARTA MARTA ! That aver , being the eighth - largest rapid transit arrangement in the US is middling important , especially when you factor in that the country offered zero dollars in financing for around 30 years .

You all know Margaret Mitchell wroteGone with the Windbecause she broke her ankle and was just bored, right?

You have a go at it that , do n’t you ? Hot take : Her business firm is n’t even that cool to chaffer .

How is Hartsfield-Jackson the world’s busiest airport?

All the strip clubs

After an exhaustive exploit , I ’ve close there are or so 35 strip clubs in and around Atlanta . And from what my friend ’s told me , most are jolly good . My friend also told me that sometimes Magic City has karaoke and that if you challenge a dancer to a twerk - off , you will lose and it will be filmed and uploaded to YouTube where your aunt will see it and then call your mammy who will make the upcoming mob breeze REAL uncomfortable for everyone .

The Falcons

I do n’t understand how anyone can like this squad . And I ’m a Redskins devotee . At the time of this situation , they ’re first in the NFC South … but c’m on . Do you really intend that will last ? Your QB ’s nickname is " Matty Ice " and he calculate like a spokesperson for Warfarin trying to differentiate me about DVT as he ’s painting a rescued wooden death chair . Also , why do you ask a unexampled stadium ? What was wrong with the Georgia Dome ? They hosted artistic gymnastic exercise and squad handball in ' 96 . It ’s practically a historical landmark .

Atlanta