At its most canonical , being sex - positive refers to the pleasure , wellness , and intimate geographic expedition of oneself and others . For me , being sex - positive is the state of mind where I feel comfortable ask for what I want sexually , when I want it , and going about it in a good and reverential manner . It entails make a positive ( take : non - judgmental ) attitude and healthy curiosity surrounding sexual activity .
Sex - positive cleaning woman take an fighting interest in learning about and participating in their own gender , and adopt the possibility that pleasure can have a place in our unremarkable lives . It ’s like doing the dish or walking the dog … just a lot more sport . But every sex - cocksure woman needs an armoury . So here ’s a list of 10 things any sexual practice - confident woman ought to have stocked and within arm ’s reach .
Magic Wand
Fun fact : I ’ve been in an LTR with the Magic Wand ( formerly the Hitachi Magic Wand ) since I was 18 . I ’d say “ my ” Magic Wand , but I ’m on my third one , as the last one come out sparking and closely caught on fire after a decade of unshakable use . As one of my most - trusted companions , it ’s delivered mind - blowing orgasms each and every time without fail . The wand can do no wrong . With four mise en scene on the battery - operated adaptation ( sometimes a gallon want masturbation mobility ! ) , this arm takes your big O to amazing new levels . My only caution : the Magic Wand will tickle your clit for three straight hours if charge , but will need unconstipated re - file every couple of use . No one receive a tech fail while three - quartern of the way to culminate .
Porn
Okay , I know porn is a extremely charge topic among sexual practice - positive women . I ’m not here to get into a debate on all the incorrect - conduct in the industriousness , of which I concede there are plenty . Instead , I ’d like to affirm that it ’s OK for woman to watch over and enjoy porn . Can we bulge there ? Whether you get it from a raunchy magazine , online porn situation , or Tumblr , there are no limitations on how porn can be down . If you wish it , cosset . And screw the taboo . human race do n’t feel bad about it , so why should we ?
Condoms
For STD protection and pregnancy prevention , condoms are a no - brainer . But they ’re only as effective as you make them . Sobe certain they fit right , they ’re not expired , and they have n’t been crush in a wallet or under a pile of record book for six calendar month . Also cognise what you ’re sensitised to , since up to 9 % of masses may develop a latex allergy ( if this is you , check out the synthetic latex paint gum elastic available atSKYN ) .
Birth control
Whatever your preferred method of birth ascendancy is , keep it ready to hand … unless it ’s an oral contraceptive or IUD , neither of which requires plot - metre play . The few logistics you have to take care of in the heat of the moment , the better . Who wants to explore high-pitched and small for a condom when you have a hard cock at the ready ? diaphragm , cervical caps , spermicide , and prophylactic go in bedside table . Abide by the Scout motto : always be prepared .
Dental dams
I know , dental dam are a total buzz putting to death . For more people than not , they ’re an peculiarity : steel - young to the safe - sex playbook . But as a gal who likes to be on the gift and get close of female unwritten sex , these things are a necessity . Sure , I ’d hump to give and get pleasure with rash abandon ; but I ’m not keen on contractingchlamydia , gonorrhea or syphilis . Dams , like the sheer one Glyde makes , are thin and take into account for semi - vulva profile .
Gloves
Alright , gloves are another perhaps - not - so - glamourous barrier method acting , but an essential item in any good sexual urge accumulation . glove – rubber-base paint or nitrile – are all important for genital touch and fingerbreadth and anal fucking . If you ’re not quite ready for intercourse , but still want to safely get off , this is the means to go . It does n’t feel all that unlike than digit - on - flesh fundamental interaction and there ’s still something hot about seeing your partner draw out and put on a glove . Because when the gloves come out , it ’s sexy time . Still , I get it , it ’s not for everyone – not all sexual urge partners , specially monogamous couples , feel the need for such safety measures .
Lube
Spit has no place parading as lube , unless it ’s in erotica , when all realistic depictions are ( many prison term ) kicked to the kerb . Trust me , there are far good pick . If I ’m spend quality hand - on clock time with myself , I habituate almond fossil oil . It ’s flashy , readily usable , and adds just the right-hand slippability ( I made that tidings up ) to my fingers and toy dog . Plus , it makes my labium shut down super gentle , so basically it ’s like a spa treatment for my pussy . That said , oil - ground lubricants do n’t play nice with prophylactic – so gravel to products made for that purpose . mighty now , I rotate between Good Clean Love , a water - based lubricant , and überlube , a silicone lubricator that is rock my world . Again , it ’s estimable to have options .
Candles/music
Bring whatever added ambiance you require into the bedroom . For some women , it ’s scented candles . For others , it ’s a KD Lang CD on repeat . I savvy a good mattress and super luxe sheet . Whatever make your playground more amenable , pull out all the stops and make it happen . The more at relaxation you are in a sexually charge situation , the more easily you ’ll climax . Build a welcoming space and they ( and you ) will come .
A sexy read
Erotic language on the printed page can do wonders to get you in the climate when you ’re flying solo . I ’m always more than glad to have sexy storytelling time with a mate who ’s into it . I do n’t postulate a raft of prompting to make my nous run baseless . lately , I revived Nancy Friday ’s Women on Top and have been getting off to its short , true - fib vignettes .
Anal toy
Since anal sexual practice requires a certain layer of confidence with a collaborator that is n’t immediately earned , toy play is the next - good choice and comes without threat of indiscrete boning bloopers . Whether alone or with a friend , a varied sexual landscape in which to play is had by having toy like this locked , loaded , and always at the ready .
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Charyn Pfeufferis a Seattle - based food , sex , and change of location writer . She ’ll show you hers if you show her yours – nightstand contents , that is . checker her out on Twitter:@charynpfeuffer .
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