11 Foods You'd Be Stupid Not to Eat in July

There ’s never been a better time to be American ! have ’s just go forth that assertion unexamined , shall we ?

Because unexamining is what Americans do best . TheExaminer ? That was BRITISH – this guy ’s a no - good Tory lobsterback , somebody tar and feather the traitor , pronto ! Now that you ’re safely among patriot , you could ease into your rocking chair and soak up the July sun , which yr after twelvemonth provides a bounty of fresh food that springs up from the land given to the United States average and square through the mystical / divine process of manifest destiny . The best way of life to eat local , seasonal food like these is with a clean conscience .

Plumcots

Or pluots , or apriums , apriclums , or apricums , or apricotandplummixedtogether . America has a rarefied custom of bending nature to suit the shortsighted pauperism of its citizen , and nowhere is that more patent than in the plumcot tree , an apricot - plum loanblend designed to titillate your easy bored tasting buds . These picayune rock fruit can be eaten by the half - dozen , and apparentlyresearchhas shown the nutrient level of plumcot tree to be high than the " much - gas " blueberry bush , so FUCK YOU , BLUEBERRIES . establish you how far a little manufacture support can go , but on the other handwriting , that manufacture gives yeasty names to versions of the plumcot tree , like " Fall Fiesta , " " King Kong , " " Flavor Grenade , " " Eagle Egg , " and " Flavorosa . " Who says works breeders do n’t have playfulness ?

Now , if you desire to trample profoundly into the unholy waters of plant upbringing , hold back out thepeacotum . tabu yield , indeed .

Lobster

Consider this : that so - call in " screaming " strait a lobster makes when you toss its still - living body into a vat of boiling urine is justair escapingfrom the gap between its exoskeleton and innards , which are quickly being flex into a succulent white substance designed to be dipped in butter and consume at a national Ernst Boris Chain for only $ 19.95 . So it ’s ethically all right to eat them without compunction ! ! !

Ideally you ’ll getspiny lobster , because that ’s the most sustainable – whatever variety you choose , lobster is a good source of skimpy protein and the amatory pleasance of dissemble you ’re bound only to the sea , which is your wife , your lover , and your tomb .

Sweet corn

Corn was one of theThree Sistersof aboriginal American factory farm , so it ’s about as American as you may get without taming a bald bird of Jove . You should probably have your passport revoke if you do n’t grill up a few ears , rub hot butter and salinity all over them , and wait for the inevitable backwash in your commode sports stadium .

This is really a fun agency to track yourbowel transit time , and along the way you ’ll pick up batch of indissoluble character , whichfeeds good bacteria in your gutand help you have perfect turd with keep kernel of Zea mays , every day in July . This is shaping up to be a wild summertime !

Raspberries

Do n’t look now , but dour root - vegetable season is bare months by , so you better get your manservant busybodied on turning this raspberry harvest into preserve . If you ’re a member of the communion thriftiness , though , enjoy the second , because who get it on what misfortunes await just around the corner when your current declaration breathe out ? ! Indulge in fresh , raw raspberries while you may , which will give youall sort of sport antioxidantsto stave in off inevitable infirmity and destruction as long as possible .

Tomatoes

It ’s a blasted ignominy that most Americans exhaust the bulk of their tomatoes inpizza and ketchup mannikin , because fresh tomatoes during the lackadaisical slog of mid - summertime are one of the unsubdivided joyousness that make life deserving living when it ’s too hot to move . Tomatoes are also a swell example of the heirloom seed movement ’s potential ; go ahead and equate aBlack Cherry tomatoto the reddish globule you get at the grocery store in December , and endeavor to recall they ’re technically the same food . There ’s no comparison .

Soak up that splendid lycopene ( undeniably good for you ) well into spill by making and freezing some homemade sauce , a simple simplification of butter , onions , garlic , bay leaves , and oregano .

Basil

verbalize of oregano , here ’s Basil of Caesarea ! All sorts of herbs hit their vizor in the summer calendar month , but the queen is basil , which you could put on just about anything – salads , pizza , burgers , aloof congeneric – to lighten up the flavor and make affair more exciting . The real magic happens when you mix it with olive oil , garlic , pine nuts , and Parmesan Malva sylvestris to make pesto , which call " summer " likeMorton Downey Jr. screaming at Ron Paul on daytime television system .

Some say that St. Basil the Great has all sorts of medicative properties , includingthe ability to palliate everything from headaches to lack of menstruum , but since there ’s no hard " science " to " back up " those " claims , " ask yourself if you really need a plant to do all your healing for you . Enjoy your pesto , for crying out aloud .

Pattypan squash

Say it out loud 21 times in a words – SAY IT . Now that you ’re escaped , shuffle up your squash rackets routine that you unquestionably have and sample the pattypan , which , truth be told , tastes like a raft of other modest summer squash . Look , not everything can appal and awe – sometimes a squash rackets is a squash is a squash , and if you grill it with some Dijon and refreshful herb , or even make fun it , you ’re go to be in serious shape . Perhaps you ’re interested in the fact that " mash " derives from the plural Algonquin wordasquash , or that in the late ' 90s young Polish adult did n’t even know what pattypans were because they were too busy nurse down " soft fruits of the cherubic taste , " like grapes and strawberry , but there ’s no need to bore you here .

Watermelon

There are rumors that some people do n’t wish watermelon , but these revolutionist should be rounded up and put into cages like the animal they are . Sadly , the Constitution does n’t allow such just and totally sensible punishment , but this have in mind more watermelon for you ! It ’s hydrating ( water ’s right there in the name ! ) , and ca n’t you wonder at the fact that these things produce right out of the stain ? Where ’s your sense of wonder , Kyd ? all right , fine : watermelonalso has lycopene , so it ’s upright for you , so rust it ! Happy ?

Cranberry beans

Haha , look at these thing ! That ’s good , unclouded fun right there . Cranberry beans have beendescribedas " versatile and velvety , " " tenuous - skinned , " and " lenient , " all of which are not beneficial , clean playfulness and justify at least a PG-13 rating . If you put these guys into aTexas caviarin position of black - eyed peas , you ’ll have a lightly erotic summer side that gives all of thewell - documented wellness benefitsof bean plant usance , potentially with thenoxious emissionsthat are a sign of your elan vital .

Arugula

Thought you were going to run away July without having to eat a salad , did you ? Oh no , you will be wipe out an arugula salad – at least one ! – because you ’re a grown - up and your parent are visiting shortly so it ’s a good idea to have a endearing , peppery salad prepared for them to give the impression that you havestrong bones , arecancer - free , and are n’t filled with anxiety over your identity and future and crippling forlornness and alienation and why do n’t we just eat the damn salad already , want some cranberry beans with that ?