Boo ! Remember the days when parent fret over the possibleness that some sadistic alien had embedded razor vane into apples and passed them out on Halloween ? The irony , of course , is that your " conservative " parents sent you into an insulin coma by letting you devour a metric ton of high - fructose corn sirup in a single night , which is far more dangerous than a few cuts on your natural language . There ’s nothing scarier than type 2 diabetes , folk , and who even has the meter to imbed a brand into an orchard apple tree ?
The economical and social toll of saccharide - bear on inveterate disease could all be avoided if America got free of Halloween in favor of a downslope festival celebrate seasonal food . occur on , the kidskin will have sex it ! Promise ! Who would n’t , when you ’re talking about some of the following delights .
Gourds, of course
You got ta get yourself some gourds – you wo n’t rue it , sitting around in your flat staring at gourds with laughable faces carved into them . Where have all your friends gone ? To gourd - gratuitous climate , which is unfortunate because they ’re missing out on all sort ofbenefits from beta - carotene .
OK , so technically there are somedifferences between gourd and squashand all that jazz , but we ’re talking about the kinds of squash racquets you’re able to eat . And there ’s almost an unnumberable variety ! Try ridicule butternut , Thelma Sanders , grey kabocha , funfair , Sucrine du Berry , Honeynut , reddish kabocha , Bernie Sanders , nuthoney , and flan ! Only some of those are made up .
Chicory
What a populace we live in ! Just felt like saying that , nothing to do with chicory , though chicory root is a puzzling muddle in its own rightfield , kind of like the world we live in . Plants like Belgian chicory escarole , escarole , and radicchio return into the chicory family , and you’re able to also find the rootage chassis ground up as a reasonably adequate coffee berry replacement . Otherwise , you could stuff some endives , or turn frisée into a classicsalade Lyonnaise . Bonus : chicory helps you poop !
Pheasant
It ’s finallygame season , which is a more fun way of sound out , " The Killing Time . " attack up some of the boys in your flatbed truck , grab your gun , and burgeon forth at the first matter that move , Dick Cheney - style . No , wait , that ’s not right . Have someone else do that for you , then reap the rewards in the form ofstuffed pheasant . Nothing is sound than live on off the country , and if it reduces your reliance on staring grocery store store kernel , full of hormones and antibiotics and bubonic plague and experiential angst , so much the better . you’re able to experience the joyousness of fall grilling , too – get some herb on that pheasant ( rosemary ? ? ? ) and permit the fire work its magic .
Quince
As you may see from the photo , Cydonia oblonga ( quinces ? ) are similar to apples , only they ’re disgusting and out of the question to eat raw , so you ’ll have to make them , maybe in a little wine – but are n’t you looking for a challenge ? Or are you too mark in your relaxed , bourgeois existence , munch on an apple bred to be tasteless and peck - produced?Cook up some quinceand savor the undertaking ; pretend you ’re ingest buckets of antioxidant inancient Rome . ItisHalloween , after all , and you may fairly safely assume there are n’t any maniacs give way around commit razors in quince(s ) .
Kennebec potatoes
Yep , fall ’s here , so tater are on the carte – Kennebecs are recognize for the superscript French fries they produce , thanks to their low water content . One articleclaimsthat Kennebecs " taste more like a white potato than most white potato do , " and the websiteKennebec potato dot com adds , " It try out very much like a potato . " These statement introduce problems of epistemology that are unresolvable in this piffling blurb .
Kennebecs are jolly easy to find oneself , but do n’t be gull by those boring old russets masquerading as Kennebecs , ready to sneak into your first girl ’s deb ball and slip her heart from a white potato that ’s clearly a better selection for union . Wow , not sure how we got there , but the full point is that you ’ll seriously up your fry - tuber game when you make the transposition to Kennebecs .
Regina Dei Ghiacci iceberg lettuce
This is n’t your decrepit nanna ’s iceberg lettuce –Regina Dei Ghiacci , which you must say in full each clock time you discourse it , has a more bitter flavour , dark green color , and a delicate texture compared with the already - browning stuff at the bottom of your chicken rice . Celebrity chef andpossible deviantDan Barbercalls it"the mother of berg , " lay claim modern iceberg has " been dumbed down to white-hot , tasteless nothing . " True ! Not sure he intended that to be a metaphor for America , but you may bypass the ease of that image and get back to your roots this fall by making a Regina Dei Ghiacci salad , maybe with some roast squash on top to get your green AND beta - carotene .
Green Macerata cauliflower
When you ’re thinking about Brassica oleracea botrytis , which you surely are on a veritable basis , you should ask yourself , " Why not Green Macerata ? " Why not , indeed . Back in the daylight , they used to call greenish cauliflower " broccoli , " but it seems as though every veggie is a special little Plectrophenax nivalis now and ask its own name . Anyway . This is essentially just cauliflower , and there areSO MANY WAYSto cook cauliflower and engage all thosebangin ' brassica benefit .
White eggplant
October : when your cauliflower turns green , your eggplants go lily-white , your rivers run red with blood , locust plague your fields , and the eldest of each crime syndicate is struck down with an incurable paralysis . Sorry , got a piddling carried off there with all this food turning expectations upside down ! white-hot Solanum melongena really put the " ballock " in eggplant , plus it ’s just fun to have a livid mad apple every once in a while , ya know ? Try using white mad apple as the " noodles " in agluten - free lasagna , and check your surprised guests say , " Um , there ’s mad apple in this lasagna ? " You ’ll all have a laugh together before you instruct them to eat those nitty-gritty , becausethat ’s where all the antioxidants are .
Chinese green radish
We survive in a globular society , so you should find comfortable welcoming this Chinese radish into your home , right before slice it to musical composition and throwing it into a fuss - youngster or on top of a Regina Dei Ghiacci salad . These can be exceedingly spicy if you ’re not careful , and it take a crap you understand the blood and sweat so many horticulturalists , farmers , and geneticist put in to make those modest , dead red and round radishes the monetary standard at the grocery store . Spit in the face of their hard work by expanding your brassica repertory – that ’s right , Japanese radish are come to to cauliflower and Brassica oleracea italica and every other vegetable you ’ll be eating in this spicy , crunchy fall / winter . Another possibility ? Warm some butter to board temperature , add a little sea salt and gamboge juice , and you ’ve got a sodding appetizer for your solo gourd - carving session !
Freshwater bass
Ah , the freshwater sea bass , the animal you used to catch and kill with dad , before he ran off with the neighbor ’s wife and you never saw him again . Do n’t let those old worked up wound finish you from eating bass , though – for some reason , the modest basso is relegate to angle nestling and cookouts , even though it ’s get a modest flavor , is abundant across America , and isincredibly sustainable . There are n’t even any adequate line of descent photograph of largemouth or smallmouthed black bass bass – who knows what ’s shown above , probably some radioactive amphibian creature fished out of the Danube by a dire parentage lensman .
Would it help if we called it something Nipponese , likesuzuki ? Perhaps ! The point is that you should n’t be so picky about your protein , and there ’s plenty of bass voice to go around . Until a chef embraces it as a " hot " local ingredient , you might as well bread and fry it like they did in the in force old days .
Half your weight in candy
Being an grownup does n’t mean you should stop eating confect , trim as a sexy member of the medical athletic field , and have got unprotected sex with a stranger like you did when you were a carefree tike . Go out there and enjoy the vacation ! After all , you have to wake up up early for All Saints Day pot on November 1st .
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