You might think you ’re not presently on a reality date show from the ' 00s , but , really , how can you be so sure ? try your surroundings tight . Are you followed by television camera at a low - economic rent cabaret ? Is your name Chad ? Now , jibe to see if you are wearing a undershirt over a T - shirt . you could never be too measured . A misstep to the Splash Spa might be in your time to come .
While the high - concept date stamp show is far from dead – FOX premieredthe Mark Burnett - producedCoupledthis hebdomad andThe Bacheloris still go firm – the musical style touch a hallucinating , trashy , and eldritch - as - hell peak in the first decade of this century . To help you observe those gloriously gonzo show gone by , I ’ve put together a listing of signs that you ’re in reality on a reality dating show from the ' 00s . leave behind your self-regard in this intro paragraph and scan on .
You are in a hot tub
Be careful . Do not put your point under the water – there are too many chemicals . chop-chop survey the perimeter . If you are alone in a hot tub , you might be in a wealthy friend ’s backyard or perhaps on a occupation trip-up at a Hilton . But , if you are surrounded by two or more members of the paired sex compete for your attention , you are plausibly on a reality date show in the ' 00s , possiblyBlind Date , Average Joe , Age of Love , A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila … I could go on . It could be any of them . They all had hot tubs , right ? Proceed with caution .
You love body painting
Like truck driver hats , LIVESTRONG wristband , and waterboarding , physical structure picture was very popular during the ' 00s – or , at least , it seemed very popular if you spent your eventide watching reality dating shows . I ’m not sure if anyone ever delight body house painting , but it was always one of the cringe - worthy " ice - breakage " see that two strangers were force to go on in a givenBlind Dateepisode , along with skydiving , go - kart driving , and kite - flying . Body - paint companies must have really made bank during the reality dating godsend . If you jazz body paint , you are probably on a reality geological dating show – or you are filming anAvatarbody - paint tutorial– either way , look for help .
You have a really vague job like “event coordinator”
Do n’t concern : no one will involve a follow - up question about your job . Just keep nodding and pray that your atomic number 27 - workers do n’t watchelimiDATE , particularly episodes aboutsingle gal competing for the erotic love of cowboy Shane in Kansas City .
You are constantly being asked if you’re “down to experiment”
Stop nodding . carry .
You are followed by pesky thought bubbles
If all of your thoughts are snarky , belabored one - liners that can be contain in little Garfield - esque inner - monologue clouds , you are onBlind Date . Be extra well and mayhap you ’ll get to meetRoger Lodge .
You use a black light to look for semen on sheets
No , you are notCSIforensic bugologist Gil Grissom . You are a dissident on MTV’sRoom Raidersand you are looking for bodily fluid because that ’s a gravid way to begin a hold up relationship based on trust and mutual deference . Also , youmight be Zac Efron .
You have an earpiece in your ear
persist tranquil . You are being directed by an ex - boyfriend or -girlfriend of your date like onEX - treme Datingor MTV’sExposed , two show with similar concepts and equally terrible epithet . That earpiece does not make you a CIA federal agent . Instead , you are getting a steady stream of burns , giggles , and insight like , " Reggie is ghost with smut and has deep - seated emotional issues . "
You’re arguing with your girlfriend on a stage
Sorry , hate it or love it , you are democratic rapperThe Gameand you are onChange of Heart .
You wear a terrifying mask
Oh shit . You are on an installment ofMr . Personality . Do n’t commemorate this show ? Like trumpery classicsTemptation Island , Married by America , Who want to Marry a Multi - Millionaire , andThe Littlest Groom , this show aired on FOX . It was about a char who had to cull from 20 world who all wear down fearsome masks , so that they would be judged by their character alternatively of their feel , and it was hosted by Monica Lewinsky because presumably Kato Kaelin was busy .
You pretend to be a millionaire
If you receive yourself lying about your income and wear down much nicer shirts than you would ordinarily sport , but still unbuttoning them a few spare buttons because you are a human beefcake , you are probablyJoe Millionaire .
You are on a strange bus
For some weird reason , oversized vehicle were a big slew in the ' 00s : hummer , buses , and Tony Soprano ’s Escalade were all huge . So , it makes sense that the era birth two Greco-Roman dating shows that made excellent use of buses . BothNextandThe 5th Wheelput very emotional daters in vehicles primed for double-decker partisan John Madden . While MTV’sNextnow has a sure amount of hoard for its proto - Tinder " swipe right field " glide slope , The fifth Wheel , which was hosted by Aisha Tyler in its first season , is the better show for its bizarre pacing , creepy party room on the omnibus , and tendency tocast daters who loved blow toes . If you know buses , you probably also love suck on toes .
You are chained to other humans
Relax : that Ernst Boris Chain does not mean you are in a real - lifeSawscenario . Instead , you are on UPN’sChains of Love , a truly deranged show that expect the doubtfulness : what happens when you chain a cleaning woman to four boring mankind and force them to do thing like go ice skating together ? The answer is not much . The best part about this show wasthe Locksmith , a escort - look swell who dressed in black , woreMatrixsunglasses , and express up for the liquidation rounds . He was cool . Hopefully he ’s still out there catch free beverage from the great unwashed who recognize him as the Locksmith fromChains of Love . Never change , Locksmith . You are beautiful .
You have snow in your mouth
You are onelimiDATEwith the woman in the television above and she just shoved cheating Baron Snow of Leicester in your sass . You made so many splendid life choices to get to this level . lifespan is great . rue nothing . ( But , seriously , find out this clip all the manner to the end . )
You are Chris Hardwick
Before he became the lord of AMC post - episode confab shows , the comedian was the emcee ofShipmates . You ’re in all likelihood not Chris Hardwick , so you ’re likely in the clear on this one . Unless youactuallyare Chris Hardwick . In which case , hello ! give thanks you for reading this article and make it to the end with your busy schedule . Please expend your Nerdist money to bring backShipmates .
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Telepictures/WireImage/Getty Images
Blind Date | YouTube
Elimidate | YouTube
Blind Date | Universal Television
Ex-Treme Dating | Relativity Media
Mr. Personality | FOX
Next | MTV
Elimidate | YouTube
Shipmates | Sony Pictures Television
