1.The friend who is your ultimate hypeman
This friend is the living shape of R.Kelly ’s “ I conceive I can fly ” except that he believes you may take flight . While he may experience all your weakness and vulnerabilities , he desperately wants you to overcome them – the Alana to your Abbi . He will always be behind you , inveigle you to press “ going ” on the invitation to the party where you do n’t know anyone . He will be there , defend you to ask out the stranger at the remainder of the bar , to apply for that problem that asks for three years of experience though you only have two . How does anyone get along without this person , the Oprah to their Gayle ?
2. The friend with the car
While it ’s inherent aptitude to want to slap someone upside the head when they suggest the squad go to party on a beach that ’s so far aside you might consider enlisting a Sherpa to point the hostile expedition , you remember – she has a car . A chariot to whisk you away to the shore without ever having to set human foot in a dingy bus pole or a train station with a broken in vending automobile . Not only are you NOT hoofin ’ it anywhere , you ’ll be get to the party without the tousled and sweaty face of someone who has been trapped in the sardius fire your city has the gall to call public transportation – all the better for the function of make unexampled beach Quaker . ( And you KNOW those multitude probably have cars too . )
3. The friend who’s not really just a friend
Everyone you ’ve ever date stamp has on the QT hat this friend of yours , but you laughed it off – that is , until you had your very own Monica x Chandler here and now . You ask them around not only because you want them around for the entire spectrum of fun clobber that include playing N64 until 3 am and that other game a smattering of number above that – you demand them around because you desire them around . Whether this a long - realise crush or a friends with benefits position – that ’s the form of self-confidence boost that seeps into every other part of your life and makes you feel totally unstoppable .
4. The friend who will get you to Vegas and back with the change from between your couch cushions
This friend is the human shape of Groupon . They know the engagement of every eating house week in every metropolis across the rural area , they know when all the free museum days are , they know the safe bar and clubs with no cover burster , and the best times to buy plane tag for the crazy euphony fete he ’s fuck off you in for free because a friend of a friend of a friend works for whoever is give it . You and your wallet will have a good time .
5. The friend who might also moonlight as a high-profile event planner on TLC
With this friend , you will never experience the ambiguousness of “ meet me at the corner at 3 promethium ” . There are Google calendar invite . Schedules . A particular chemical group chat for natal day . This person always has a plan of attack at which to come near brunch . You will not only be on time , but you will never await in railway line . Should it rain over your planned biergarten pleasure trip , there is always a backup solution . You ’re moderately sure that had this person held office in the time of papistical emperors , the city would not have fall .
6. The friend who wants to teach you that sweating and socializing are not mutually exclusive
This is the friend who preaches from the Book of Crossfit . Short of pressing the emergency plosive speech sound button on your salt mine with the broken screen , this person wants to get you out of the basement cardio way at your gym at any cost and introduce you to the great unwashed who want to sweat – together . Get out and fall in the office kickball team , or experience the joys of the post - spin division quinoa powerbowl tiffin group .
7. The friend who gives the White House Photographer a run for his money
In the region of documenting the every 24-hour interval for the sake of posterity , Peter Souza comes in second to your friend with the # VSCOcam on their iPhone . In between taking perfectly angled selfies , they ’re also create record album and account full of your risky venture ( and misadventure ) for the day you ’re both in rocking hot seat looking back at the time you wallow in the mud at Coachella without drawers . Even better , they always chase after you in the photos from those Night out with the random people from the bathroom line with whom you swore to be best friends ; and thanks to that protagonist , you’re able to make it occur .
8. The friend with all the industry perks
Lines ? Ha . Your friend does n’t expect on line because he waits on tables . After the all right people who work at restaurants and bars head out after their chemise end , they can saunter into the cocktail bar with a strain out the door because the stewardess knows they figure out at the Turkish place down the block . Also , they always know exactly how much you ’re theorise to tip so you do n’t provide feel slightly terrible and mostly unsure if doubling the tax was enough . And this does n’t only apply to the restaurant industry . If you have a friend in PR , we suggest keeping a formal tuxedo or cocktail dress on consideration for the inevitable Really Fancy affair you ’ll be ask for to .
9. The friend with all the business cards
Ah , a brick of 8,000 business organisation cards in a box seat that ’d hit you like a falling piano if it ever fell on your animal foot ? The better to connection with . Before your friend start haul you to cocktail hours full of business professionals in lustrous tie clips and firm handshakes practiced on family positron emission tomography , you might have thought of them as insincere time - waster . But view your friend in natural process , literally shake hands and taking names , will inspire you to get out there and see some Young Working Professionals in the event that you need someone whose startup specializes in 3D printing process imitation of deposed world leader .
10. The friend who coaxes your nerdy obsessions out of the shadows
Are you lurking on message boards and keeping your aggregation of ‘ 90s limited - edition Disney - themed cereal boxes in the basement where no one can find them ? There are people out there like you and it ’s time you receive them . You need that one friend who will ship you off to the closest anime conventionalism in full Tuxedo Mask cosplay ( should you still be a little weird about actually show up your grimace at these things ) to run into like - minded people who will not judge you on your current fixation with Marvel - themed lover fiction . Be free .
11. The friend who will calmly explain sports to you so you can feel like you’re a part of something
With their paint faces and their penchant for shooting up out of their seats once the human beings in the helmet does the matter with his foot , you have always admired sports fan , but never feel like you could cling . You want to do it what it ’s like to care about something so much that you ’ll ignore a beautifully loaded nacho midway on its journeying to your backtalk just to see that one guy cable do the matter and then the dance . This booster will not only tempt you to keep an eye on the big game with everyone else , they ’ll try and explain it to you using condiments as participant while you bozo make wings before everyone gets there .
12. The friend who throws extremely specific viewing parties
There is never a wrong time to watch Cool Runnings in Portuguese . You may not have it off what on the nose what they ’re saying , but your friend knows that the formula for fix up new friendships is throwing a grouping of acquaintance on the lounge with a stadium of nachos and a movie no one can understand and everyone will be chum by the clock time the boys walk their bob to the finish line .
13. The friend who makes you do outdoorsy stuff with other people
14. The friend who deals with those high-pressure holidays that no one can deal with
The Friend who takes over making the annoying decisions of what to do on New Year ’s Eve or Halloween . Those gamey - pressure holiday that punctuate everyone else out into indecision . If it were n’t for this person , you ’d be sit on your couch eat Formosan noodles ( like Miranda in that deplorable Sex and the City movie , we make love you saw it , do n’t lie ) every New Year ’s Eve . It ’s a thankless task , but someone ’s incur ta motivate .
Jeremy Nguyen/Thrillist
Jeremy Nguyen/Thrillist
Jeremy Nguyen/Thrillist
