I ’m fairly sealed effervescent water is the only reason I ’m alive today . Seltzer , club soda , soda water – this is my lifeblood , my primary root ofliquid sustenance , my respectable friend from first light to dusk and all thetequila - scented , ironical - mouthed , night stand - groping moment in between . In my warmness , sparkling water supply come second only tobeer , a beverage upon which I ’ve build my integral career . Real public lecture .

When our passionate love affair begin almost 10 years ago , the world ’s most perfect drinkable was actually quite hard to come by outside of New York City ( aka the country ’s unofficial soda pee capital ) . I ’m thrilled to report , however , that the seltzer gyration has ultimately arrived on American shores , thanks for the most part to LaCroix ’s growing rage status among thirsty fan . And with new brands come to the shelves every day , it ’s high sentence someone as informed , experienced , and trusty as me ranked all these bubbly babies . Here they are , from spoiled to best .

16. Gerolsteiner sparkling mineral water

My first swig begin with a bang – a violent , intensely carbonated bang that took approximately three years to abate . As before long as the tooth enamel - bare blow lifted , however , my entire backtalk filled with what can only be describe as liquid break of the day breathing spell with a dash of Ni . Man , did I ever miss those bubble .

15. Gold Emblem original seltzer

Gold Emblem ’s cap let out a hiss so loud and long that the full Thrillist agency thought I was shushing them ( sorry again , guy ) . All primitivism aside , the water itself taste nothing like the label ’s sky - grim hue and charming vintage seltzer nursing bottle might bespeak , unless that seltzer bottle had n’t envision a sponge in a while .

14. Whole Foods Italian sparkling mineral water

This is intelligibly the Jersey Shore   version of Old World Pellegrino , absorption having provide its diluted , deflated mug on   this poor , plastic , decisively assimilated   coevals . It ’s the Domino ’s to Pellegrino ’s pizza Napoletana .

13. Pellegrino sparkling natural mineral water

I know wad of H2O   enthusiast who swear by it . But , weirdly for a taste - test … this has more flavor than I generally look for in my sparkles . Sorry , Pellegrino . It ’s not you , it ’s me .

12. Hal’s New York seltzer water

It tastes o.k. enough , but Hal ’s carbonation is like an infuriated   New Yorker   who ’s late for oeuvre , and my mouth , unfortunately , is a tourer dawdling down a minute walkway . My   dumbstruck palate is simply no match for this uncurbed fury . You ’ll just have to go around me , pal .

11. Q Club Superior club soda

Q Club   drink a lot like a diluted   peach intelligibly Canadian , which is a maven   I ’m   more than happy to leave back in the fourth grade where it belongs . Now that I think about it , with its bubbly - like publicity and strange fruity undertone , this probably was n’t signify for virtuous   unadulterated consumption – like ,   I   could see a splashing of Q   spritzing up somecheap roséon a raging summertime night , but there ’s no mode I ’m reaching for this   at 6 am   the next daybreak .

10. Poland Spring sparkling original

Imbibing Poland Spring ’s incisive , dull carbonation   palpate   like gravel your mouth scrubbed out with Irish Spring – painful yet   somehow   strangely console , like a object lesson hear . You know it ’s   follow and   you ’re pretty sure you merit it , but you ’ll be damned if you   get overtake   saying that   word in front of grannie   again .

9. Whole Foods 365 club soda

The first swig is refreshing and very soda - like , with a dry out , ever - so - slenderly salty finish that makes me desire to shotgun the   entire can … which is probably the good move , since   it began to taste like   moth-eaten beer   about 10 instant after cracking it capable .

8. Mountain Valley sparkling spring water

Though I liked the old - school day   Americana label , Mountain Valley now lost points for its   punishing meth nursing bottle – what poor hungry soulfulness wants to gestate that bowling ball around ? Beyond its obvious weight trouble , it ’s astonishingly tasty , with a balanced bubbliness and   a off-white - dry coating that begs for another sip .

7. Saratoga sparkling spring water

Based on the figure , I assume this to be some half - atomic number 33 Pellegrino clone , but it actually leave my mouth feeling invigorated than a 90 - second   Listerine mouthwash . My only charge is that the CO2 concentration   lessen   drinkability , so it ’s not ideal for those in dire need of hydration .

6. Polar 100% natural seltzer

When I first tried to wrick this fool assailable , it sputtered and hissed like a rattler stick in a gunny shift .   But after it tranquillise down a bit , I found it to be perfectly flavorless , finish with a subtle   bitter   washout that   keep   me coming back for more ( albeit   carefully ) .

5. Canada Dry original sparkling seltzer water

Canada Dry ’s micro - bubble smack against the back of my pharynx in crash undulation , the initial shock ebbing to divulge a   sweet , flaxen beach beneath .   I ’ve never feel so alert .

4. Adirondack sparkling seltzer water

Adirondack exploded all over my computer like a puddle - off fire hydrant when I open up it , which made me hate it . But then it actually tasted like freshly melted nose candy so we ’re fine now .

3. Schweppes club soda

Like some variety of mouth hug , Schweppes '   velvety , microscopical bubble encompass my natural language with the reassuring affability of a cool autumn piece of cake . Call me , Schweppes !

2. Glaceau smartwater sparkling

Smarty - pants over here appears right smart too   carbonate , its tiny bubbles elbowing their way to the top like a bunch of small   capitalist racing up the corporate run . But valet de chambre , is this crisp ! Like an   immaculate   tidy sum bounce fed by blue-blooded , purposeful bubbles .   I straight - up palpate like a doe drinking this stuff .

1. LaCroix natural pure sparkling water

The golden standard . Those other seltzers can try , but they ’ll never twin the crystal - absolved perfection , the effortlessly graceful carbonation , the unequaled thirst - extinguishing powers encased in this minor blue can . Bravo , LaCroix , you did it again .

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sparkling water

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

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Gerolsteiner Sparkling Mineral Water

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Whole Foods Italian Sparkling Water

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Pellegrino

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Q Club Soda

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Poland Spring Sparkling Water

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Mountain Valley Sparkling Spring Water

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Saratoga Sparkling Water

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Polar 100% Natural Seltzer

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

Schweppes Club Soda

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

SmartWater Sparkling

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

LaCroix Pure Sparkling Water

Cole Saladino/Thrillist