As the days spring up shorter and summer ' 16 draws to a revoltingly muggy stuffy , allow ’s take a present moment to reflect on this season ’s culinary goals . What did you fulfill ? Did you tope enough beer ? Did you eat enough ice ointment ? Did you char the bejeezus out of enough hamburger ? Did n’t think so .
There ’s only one solution here : read over this heroic end - of - summer checklist , study it real hard , and swear on your A / C unit to consistently mark off every one of these mandatory summertime activities . There ’s still a hatful of game leave . Make the most of it .
Make a giant mess of yourself while attempting to casually eat watermelon
pass off to the proficient of us . ordinarily while wearing white .
Crush a bunch of beers while cruising around on a boat
Double point if it ’s an all - you - can - drink hard drink cruise . Or a boat you built out of empty .
Smuggle a hugebooze-inclusive picnicinto an outdoor movie
dinner party and a movie done so , so right … with extra air conditioning .
Knock back a 30 rack at the beach
This is the only situation in which put on those heinous bottle - undoer impudent bust could ever be consider satisfactory , so cumulate up a crowd and get to workplace .
Pay a full $12 for a garbage pretzel at a music festival
Because eight unbent hours of EDM really has you feel tetchy .
Buy a Dixie cup’s worth of lemonade from a child entrepreneur
When you ’re out there hustling on the street , every twenty-five percent counts .
Get all jacked up oncold brew
God bless those beautiful baristas and their balmy - altering liquidity witchcraft .
Throw a cookout, burn all the food because you’re actually a terrible griller, give up, and make a KFC run five minutes before all your friends arrive, then end up a hero because everyone loves a drumstick
descend on , like that ’s never find to you before .
Eatblueberriesby the fistful
Ai n’t nothing sweeter than the bluest berry .
Chase after an ice cream truck like a six-year-old
There ’s no smashing dashing hopes than hear that stupid birdsong disappearance away while you stand empty - handed .
Hit up everyWaffle Houseyou can find on a road trip
Because there ’s only one post in America where you may get your browns dust , chunked , diced , capped , peppered , smothered , top , covered , country , and dusted with coffin nail ash whenever the humour take .
Fork over 20 bucks for a single seaside lobster roll
Why would n’t that expensive - ass lobster just impart you the money ? Because he was shellfish .
Get angry at the presence ofpumpkin beer
It ’s too early to try out something that reminds you of hay rides .
Go to town on some carnival funnel cake
Now pass over that powdered sugar off your mug and gain your fille a teddy bear , buster .
Chow down on a classic hot dog (or two, or six) at a baseball game
Still piquant about myketchup digs ? Careful , buddy – there ’s no crying in baseball .
Get saltwater taffy stuck in your teeth
Do n’t interest , you ’ll in all likelihood lose those anyway .
Toast up some s’moresaround a campfire
Then break that essence of soot and combust sugar for a workweek .
Complain about the lines at a local craft-beer festival
Worth it .
Float down a river with a whole bunch of beer
No river nearby ? Try this in your pool . Or a neighbor ’s puddle . Or a public pool . Just chaff . Kinda .
Rip open a freeze pop with your teeth
Whether you call them Otter Pops , Pop Ice , or Fla - Vor - Ice , those delicious soft touch are damn near impossible to undo .
Hike to a campsite lugging 15lbs of snacks and beer in your pack
Do bear like DiGiorno ?
Order theslushie version of every cocktail
Or just introduce your flaskful to a Slurpee .
Listen to your dad wax poetic about corn on the cob
“ You acknowledge what ? This tastes like confect . It does n’t demand salt , butter , anything – it ’s just fantastic all on its own . I ’m tellin ’ ya , I could eat this stuff every day of the workweek . Mmm mmm mmm . ”
Buy an ice cream cone, then promptly drop it on the sidewalk
It ’s a heartbreaking ritual of passage .
Weep into a cup of hot chocolate while putting your shorts away for the season
Sigh . It was good while it lasted .
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Ellen Wright/Thrillist
Flickr/Laura
Flickr/Osvaldo Gago
Flickr/Nina Nelson
Flickr/WriterGal39
Andrew Zimmer/Thrillist
Flickr/jen
Flickr/Quinn Dombrowski
Flickr/Zachary Collier
Courtesy of Eight Row Flint
Flickr/Jonathan Nightingale
