Since October 2016 , I ’ve been subjecting my innards to the gastrointestinal eq of anAmerican Ninja Warriorobstacle course . The challenge : to arrange and eat at least three bites of every food for thought detail available on Taco Bell ’s Brobdingnagian – but recently scale back – mainmenu .
I ’m doing this for you , dear lector . And also , in remembrance of that Taco Bell Chihuahua , which , along with the casting of canine featured inHomeward Bound , Wishbone , andBeethoven , has almost certainly passed off by now . Yes , lifespan is sad . At least we have Taco Bell .
I ’ll be update this ranking whenever Taco Bell adds or subtracts from its prescribed carte , which is astonishingly often . Usually , T - Bell adds more marrow - cheese - topping - shell configurations to its menu than it subtract , but in September of 2019,the chain killed off at least nine menu items , including the Cool Ranch and Fiery Doritos Locos tacos . On the bight side , vegetarian options are now a highlight on its carte du jour gameboard across the country . Will the new Black Bean Crunchwrap Supreme fulfil the Doritos Locos - shape hole in our hearts ? Hell no . But it ’ll get along closely .
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
So how did I give chase down every Taco Bell menu item ? Well , it was n’t that hard . A spokesperson for the company sent over a photo of the latest carte ( exhibit above ) , which served as my template . Just note thatthis ranking does not include Taco Bell ’s breakfast menu options(at least , not yet ) .
As you ’re about to see , run through my way through the main menu was … a journey . snaffle a fistfull of Fire Sauce packets and come along with me .
39. Black Bean Burrito
It ’s just OK enough to be forgettable . It ’s like the Mexican fast - food equivalent weight ofHow I Met Your Mother . I ca n’t ideate the variety of someone who perish to a Taco Bell and orders a plain disgraceful attic - filled burrito . But also , How I Met Your Motherran for nine seasons . So … you get it on .
38. Chips and Nacho Cheese Sauce
Alright , look : You might think – being this low – that I ’m say these are n’t good . That ’s not true . It ’s just … well I intend … this is literally just some super crunchy flake and a little number of orangish cheeseflower . IT ‘S FINE .
37. Chips and Pico de Gallo
Pretty much what I said above , but instead of orange Malva sylvestris you start out kind of a nice little loving cup of surprisingly unused pico .
36. Chips and Guacamole
This ranks gamy of all the chip pairings , because unlike other riotous - ish Mexican food joints , TB does not charge extra for gauc . Well , at least in this case .
35. Cinnabon Delights
There are mall / drome for these . You do n’t need them at Taco Bell .
34. Black Bean Quesarito
As you ’ll see , I ’m pro Quesarito . This is far from the good one . This is the Stephen Baldwin of Quesarito . This is not the Quesarito you want to spend time with .
33. Bean Burrito
This is just a burrito filled with beans . It ’s like the " slappers only mode " ( GoldenEyereference ! ) of the Taco Bell carte .
32. Shredded Chicken Burrito
A stab at the upscale . But … it almost seems like it ’s stab too severely , trying too urgently to be " authentic , " and drop what makes Taco Bell great in the first shoes : loading variations of Mexican solid food with literally anything that would make it taste well , and openly accept we all estimable with knowing this is fast food . When The Bell purposefully shows restraint , or endeavor to get fancy , it drop off that thaumaturgy .
31. Shredded Chicken Soft Taco
See above , add wetback .
30. Grilled Steak Soft Taco
See above , tote up steak .
29. Toasted Cheddar Chalupa
For a more racy take on one of Taco Bell ’s Modern menu items , I ’d suggestthis reviewby my uber - talented ( and in spades less bum ) colleague , Kat Thompson . But but put : I agree with her resounding “ meh . ” The case tastes like a gargantuan mucky Cheez - It – but hey , maybe you ’re into that ?
28. Cheesy Bean & Rice Burrito
Scanning through this list , you ’ll discover these " basic " pick are really impinge on or miss . This is one that – for whatever ground – just does n’t enliven the same type of adoration as other stark - bone ingress on TB ’s menu . It can get a little … soggy . You do n’t need that .
27. Black Bean Crunchwrap Supreme
I really care I could have ranked this higher , because it almost definitely has the best name out of any Taco Bell Menu point . It just rolls off the tongue . It sound like a ‘ 70s Casimir Funk isthmus . But , this vegetable option merely middles and leaves me missing the meat . To be fair , I ’m usually missing the substance .
26. Chicken Quesadilla
If you are at a restaurant , and you ’re unsure about what to get , the rule of ovolo is snagging a volaille quesadilla . Incredibly intemperately to mess up up . Reliable . Consistently skilful across the board . Kind of blends into the background . That ’s what we got going on here : a solid , if not forgettable , Taco Bell treat .
25. Steak Quesarito
Remember what I said above about the grilled steak wetback ? Well , I ’m going to be a slight hypocritical here ( look , it ’s my list , and I ’ve eaten ~400,000 calories of Taco Bell to get here , so cut me some quag ) . unremarkably when Taco Bell tries to make something fancy it does n’t figure out quite as well . This quesadilla / burrito hybrid gives us just enough cheesy , riotous food - wye coverage to make the steak seem like … well , genuine steak . That ’s a serious thing .
24. Beefy Fritos Burrito
After a solid - gold partnership with Doritos , Taco Bell is bring its snack solid food / fast food for thought chemistry to Fritos – the corn - establish chip - thing that you may recognise from the trading floor of your ma ’s minivan – with this burrito loaded with ( you guessed it ! ) Fritos . Obviously , this is n’t bad . But it ’s sure enough not a plot - changer like the Doritos Locos Taco . And it seems like , overall , the Dorito ’s feel just works well with what Taco Bell is putting out there . The Fritos make the burrito highly salty , almost unpleasantly so . In fact , I call for a marvellous glass of Baha Blast just thinking about it …
23. Beefy 5-Layer Burrito
It ’s like the Taco Bell lab made this specifically to cater to people who assert off vegetables because they lost a wager in middle school . It ’s so dense , you may hammer a nail with it .
Still , it ’s worth at least one order . Just do n’t make plans for the approaching week .
22. Power Menu Bowl
I ’ll say this a few times over the course of this ranking , but Taco Bell is ( bewilderingly ) great at healthy - ish fast intellectual nourishment detail . The PMB is n’t exactly what Tom Brady is crush before he travel out there and cheats and also play football at pinnacle performance , but it will make you feel a little less big about hitting the effort - thru on a Wednesday , if you worry about that sort of stuff .
21. Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes
Ah , cheesy party white potato . There ’s a version of this , enfold in a tortilla , a little further down . This is like opt to get your ice pick in a bowlful , alternatively of a cone . Why would you want to do that ?
20. Spicy Tostada
The Spicy Tostada is kind of like a mini Mexican Pizza , sans meat . But good news ! you could add as much meat as you like ( for a small fee – again , Taco Bell ’s menu is infinitely customizable ) . It totally nail the canonic - but - expectant overall charm of the budget menu . If you desire something with a Mexican Pizza vibration , but do n’t want that much food , Taco Bell has answered your fast - food supplicant . At least someone is hear .
19. Quesarito
In causa you do n’t get it : The Quesarito is half quesadilla , one-half burrito , and I enjoin you what , it ’s not half - bad ! Actually it ’s not close to half - bad . It ’s almost full good . Half - bad is kind of high cake for crappiness , is n’t it ?
18. Burrito Supreme
Look , there ’s a seven - level option available here .
17. 7-Layer Burrito
The 7 - Layer Burrito is a hedonistic dissipated - solid food classic . Taco Bell key it " … like that seventh - floor city apartment you inhabit in right after college . "
And it ’s true . It ’s small . cum wrapped in paper . Filled with attic and cheese . It ’s the second considerably - sell item on the Taco Bell menu . really … it ’s not like my post - college apartment at all . Except for the bean and cheese part .
16. Beefy Nacho Griller
Beef is the good Griller , but still not the bestest .
15. Cheesy Roll-Up
This really cue me of when I used to put a crew of Malva sylvestris in a tortilla and zap it for three minutes when I was home alone as a kid . Kevin McCallister plausibly made these when he land up that lovely cheese pizza , just for him .
14. Gordita
In Spanish , the news " gordita " translates straightaway to " chubby girl . " I respect that determination . The only problem here is that this Gordita is unusually similar – but inferior – to our next debut .
13. Chalupa
The Gordita is like a taco , except with a big , fluffy outer shell .
The Chalupa is on the button the same , except the shell is fried . apparently , you may see why I choose for the Chalupa here .
12. Cheesy Potato Griller
I ’m going to mess up the surprise , but a unsubdivided , non - cheap potato dish grade slightly higher . Sometimes – perchance specially in libertine intellectual nourishment ? – simpler is better . ( For the record , this is still reasonably wide-eyed and very good . )
11. Spicy Potato Soft Taco
Aside from a certain crunchy afters ( ranked higher ) , the spicy soft wetback is the expert vegetarian matter on the menu . There are no fries at Taco Bell ( anymore , at least ) but the humble potato still finds a way to soar . Soar , humble potato .
10. Crunchwrap
The Crunchwrap has cursorily risen up the Taco Bell totem terminal to become a modern Clarence Day fast - Mexican classic . It ’s like a burrito , in Frisbee anatomy . It ’s sauce - tight construction makes it the staring Taco Bell repast on the go . It ’s a portable burrito . Well , I venture a more portable burrito .
9. Hard Tacos
Generally , I trust the hard taco ( in general ) to be severely underestimate in almost all regards .
However . The Taco Bell voiceless taco has a leaning to get soggy super tight ( if you are receive these to - go , you should eat them in your car ) . And , when they are not soggy they are passing astute . Like , carve - out - the - roof - of - your - mouth sharp . Like thumbtacks spiked with Captain Crunch . And no one anticipate pain with their Taco Bell . Well , at least not at first . Bottom lineage : if you want a unvoiced taco , opt for the Doritos eggshell . It ’s more worthy of your sassing pain .
8. Fiesta Taco Salad
scoffing , if you must , but Taco Bell sneakily has some of the best , " healthier " fast nutrient dishes in America . No , that ’s not an oxymoron . Yes this is like a party in my salad , and everyone ’s invite . No , I ’m not kidding : the Fiesta Taco salad – exactly what it sound like – is genuinely a good affair to order at Taco Bell .
7. Nachos Supreme/BellGrande/Grande Nachos Box
The Nachos Supreme and Nachos BellGrande ( basically , the Supreme soaked in melted cheeseflower ) are two of Taco Bell ’s adult hitters .
Is there really any more Taco Bell - ish dish antenna than the nacho ? It ’s just a big old hatful of everything you need to sloppily make full your typeface with . A fast food burrito , de - constructed .
TheGrande Nachos Boxis just about the same thing , but with twice the inwardness – veteran beef or shredded chicken – than Nachos BellGrande , plus a dollop of guac . That ’s the only difference . For that intellect , and the fact that they ’re only a circumscribed - prison term carte du jour item , we decided not to rank them separately . Make no mistake , though . They ’re good . And filling .
Thrillist
6. Cheesy Gordita Crunch
The Cheesy Gordita Crunch is the ideal amount of culinary ridiculousness – the kind of sideshow hodgepodge that made Taco Bell the rare fast - food Ernst Boris Chain that is still doing experimentation that multitude care about for more than a news show cycle .
5. Cinnamon Twists
When I was 6 years - old , I did not like Taco Bell … for some reason . Who screw ? I imagine I did n’t like a lot of thing back then . The basement . Clowns . Wearing underwear .
But what I did like were these Cinnamon Twists , which have been around basically as long as The Bell has . I love a faint afters . And these are like Ping River niff balls filled with helium . They ’re stale little churros . And I mean that as a monolithic compliment .
4. Shredded Chicken Mini Quesadilla
I know this looks bad , but it ’s actually disturbingly good . I could have say that about most things on this list . I hold open it for a grounds .
3. Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco Supreme
Witness : the wetback that launch at least 1,000 stony Bologna sausage trips to the Taco Bell drive - thru . This is truehearted - food experiment at its absolute heyday – a stunt intellectual nourishment that paved the way for every " search - this - bun - is - made - of - Cronuts - and - it’s - also - binge - with - hot - dogs " exploit of food food for thought alchemy .
After the gimmick wore off , the Sojourner Truth shone through ; Doritos and Taco Bell are just made for each other .
2. Mexican Pizza
This is the goddamn wildcard . A dark horse soaked in fuego sauce . It ’s not very pizza - like , to be honest . It is round , certain . That ’s about it .
But it ’s a direct display of Taco Bell ’s strengths . It ’s serve up a massive shell of cheese , meat , crunchy stuff and nonsense ( ? ) , and generously drizzled sauces in such a convincing mode , you do n’t even bother to question what it is , or why you are eating it . The Mexican Pizza is Taco Bell , encapsulated in one small phonograph recording of pure firm - food bliss . And only one item could maybe top it .
1. Soft Taco
It ’s not Gordita Bell . Or Burrito Bell . And it ’s unquestionably not Mexican Pizza Bell ( would n’t totally hate that , though).It ’s Taco Bell . And anything else in the No . 1 one-armed bandit would be a ill service to legacy . This is dewy-eyed . It ’s elementary . The delicate taco will be devoured by the time you leave the drive - thru . It ’s not even an order , it ’s an unspoken sure thing . lowly enough to snack on , but when multiplied three - fold , worthy of an intact repast . It ’s like the girlfriend next door of the Taco Bell carte – like , everything you ’ve ever want in fast - food Mexican , and it ’s been sitting properly in front of your eyes this whole time . It ’s the Topanga of taco . And the Topanga of anything deserve respect . Especially Topanga , herself . I marvel what she ’s up to now ? Anyway , the soft wetback is still the good thing on the Taco Bell menu .
Courtesy of Taco Bell
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
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Laura Murray/Thrillist
Laura Murray/Thrillist
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
