Canada is kicking our buttocks at acting American , which should n’t be possible consider America excogitate thebacon bun hamburger , theHot Pocket , and ajob that pays you to drink beer . So how are these Canadians out - Americaning us?News stop last weekthat the Canadian breweryPhillips Brewing & Malting Co.will deliver six - packs of its young Pilsner via bald eagle . Well , one six - clique . But still …
Hey , that ’s our animal , Pierre Trudeau ! Why do n’t you leave our badass mascot alone and turn in beer by moose ? Or Mountie . Or Mike Myers . We heard he ’s not too busy .
And , you eff what , it ’d be OK if Canada simply had the one bald - eagle beer stunt . But upon further investigation , those Canucks are kicking our shag at being American in a whole slew of different manner .
Flickr/The Wasp Factory
Their coffee and donuts are invading our landscape
Starbucksis the American king of coffee , and Dunkin ' Donuts and Krispy Kreme have us traverse for doughnut . But ever sinceBurger King purchase Tim Hortons , the troupe ’s expansion into the US has been noticeable . Being gluttonous and hopped up on caffein first thing in the daybreak is anAmericanthing , and anathemize it if a Canadian burnt umber and donut store is go to come onto our country and do it better .
Their beers are beloved by great American brewmasters
Dogfish Head is undoubtedly one of America ’s fine beermakers , and when we ask its founder to nameone of the beers he was drinking at the moment , he said Moosehead . America has a billion craft breweries , and one of our nation ’s top beer guy import six - ingroup fromNew Brunswick ? America is slacking on the beer front .
They make snack foods we have to import “legally”
RememberDunkaroos ? Of of course you do , you traded your soul for them one day at the luncheon table in fifth level and you ’ve been full of regret every twenty-four hours since . You ca n’t purchase them on American shelves any longer , but some enterprising Canadians are selling them on Amazon and eBay because they still manufacture the things for Canadians to enjoy . eat up snack food for thought is as much an American religious rite of passing asdrinking Champagne from a spray triggerman , and we have toimportthem from Canada ?
America’s longest-running comedy show is from a Canadian
Americans fabricate drollery . The French had those mimer first , but no one thought they were funny . Obviously , drollery start with Richard Pryor in 1963 , and then took off from there . But one of those show Pryor was feature on to begin his career was create by Torontonian Lorne Michaels , andSaturday Night Liveis still on TV to this solar day .
Their rappers are better than our rappers
No one ’s had a calling in the last few long time like Toronto rapper and formerDegrassistarDrake . Andas a hip - hops buff , this incense me . America make up hip - hop to have something to heed to on Beats by Dre phone , and now a Canadian is respectable at it than we are ? ! At least there aregreat doorknocker from every major American metropolis .
Their potato chips are better than ours
Homer Simpson is an original of the American male , and he eat a lot of potato chip . But when Ivisited a supermarket in Toronto , I found delicious Ruffles All garbed and Poutine tater chips . These are flavors not available in America , which is downright inglorious . If anyone ’s going to go into a permanent nutrient comatoseness by use up potato chip , it ’s go to be Americans , dammit .
Their basketball team might win it all
Drake ’s pet squad – the Toronto Raptors – is one of four teams who could win the NBA patronage this year . Yes , the squad is full of Americans , but that team reps Toronto ! It does n’t matter that we almost single - handedly aid Canada win a prize in the most American of sport . If they win , Canada should have to cut off 75 % of the prize and give it to us as payment for using our talent .
They legalized gay marriage way before America
Canada legalized festal marriage in 2005 , which was a whole 10 days before we got around to it . America is no doubtfulness the soil of the free , but Canada was free to marry whoever they wanted for 10 years longer than us . I just sense spoilt that Bert and Ernie had to look so long .
Well, at least we can still beat them up
In compositor’s case you missed one of the best baseball fights ever , here ’s a peekat what happened latterly . USA ! USA ! ( Yes , I realize that Jose Bautista is from the Dominican Republic , and Rougned Odor is from Venezuela , so technically this was a fight between people from those two countries , but calculate at their jerseys ! That fight was TEXAS VS . TORONTO , and we beat them the Inferno up . )
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Phillips Beer/YouTube
Flickr/ Jason Theodor
Lorne Michaels|Flickr/The Bush Center
Toronto Raptors
