When I told my roommate I was heading out to the Hampton Bays for the day , her eyes bulged . " You ’re going to The Hamptons ? ! " It was clear she was trying hard to mask her jealousy with surprise .
But I was n’t going toThe Hamptons . I was going to The Boardy Barn – a giant beer - soaked collapsible shelter in the far more blue - neckband Hampton Bays , where crowds of half - naked citizenry go to drink too much , terpsichore with alien , and compensate each other ’s bodies in yellow smiley face spikelet . It could n’t be further from pool floats shape like swan and late - Nox parties at the Surf Lodge .
While this anti - Hamptons phenomenon has been prettywell hide , most New Yorkers still are n’t cognizant of it . The bulk of the city ’s South and East Hampton - dwellers on my two - plus - hour drive from Penn Station stare at me blankly when I bring up it . That is , until one person who catch me yelled from the back of the handcart , " You ca n’t go to Boardy Barn sober ! " , foreshadowing my next few hour at what ’s beenreferred to as “ the happiest place on earth . ”
Oren Aks/Thrillist
While the Sperry - clad crowds stayed on to head further East , about 50 or so of us hopped off at Hampton Bays . One of those people , a 35 - year - old identify Melody from Patchogue , NY , ended up sitting next to me in the $ 5 - a - person taxi from the station to " the Barn , " which is located on the side of Montauk Highway . garb in a “ Make America Great Again ” costume consisting of a ruby-red , white , blue & scintillation chick and harvest top , matching makeup , and oversized sunglass , Melody told me she debate herself pretty of a Boardy old stager ; she ’s been coming to the Barn much since she could booze . She even date someone she met there back in the day .
“ It ’s all part of the experience ! ” she reassured me as we hopped out of the muggy cab and organize to get in the typically two - hour - retentive line to get into the tent . It was a phrase I ’d see countless more metre throughout the mean solar day , as though everyone was trying to convince themselves it was true .
When we drop dead the cab onto the gravel - covered parking heap the air was already filled with the speech sound of squealing girls home from college and the deep smell of Axe spray . Pink portable john , a wooden fence , and dry locoweed patch framed the deeply - hidden entranceway to the ill-famed Boardy Barn tent .
The line to enter Boardy Barn|Boardy Barn
In the spirit of doing things the Barn fashion – and despite it not being my typical scene ( I wear down a mostly black uniform throughout the year and usually deposit to low - paint cocktail measure ) – we break off at the food shop next door for a tall Lime - A - Rita and pre - gamed in the parking great deal until it was time to get our ID chequer and pay up the $ 20 covering fire direction . The personal line of credit quickly snaked around the tent , and nearly everyone on it was already several beers deep . The Boardy Barn ’s prescribed hebdomadary operating hour are Sundays from “ more or less 2 pm to 7:30pm , " but it was abundantly clear that no one here intended to pace themselves .
The Boardy Barn has keep the same look since opening its door in 1970 – an tremendous reddened & white striped collapsible shelter , double-dyed with outdoor / indoor drinking field and 46 flowing beer tap . The vibration is more redolent of an outdoor diving bar than the Hamptons clubs you ’ve experience on TV . Still , there ’s no beer garden or dive bar that can commence to compare to the Barn .
To say it was packed is an understatement . On a typical Sunday , the Boardy Barnhosts more than 2,000 meeter . The crowd that particular Sunday was made up of mostly 20 - somethings and a few dozen partiers well into their 30 and XL . Each one could be found with a $ 2 beer in hand , some dancing to throwbacks while singing at the top of their lungs , others pretend out with masses they just meet on the dance floor , all of them covered in stickers ( more on that after ) . And , of course , it was all being heavily document on Snapchat . If that vocalize like your average crowded dive bar ( multiplied in size and attendance by about 50 ) , reckon this : the Boardy Barn once soldmore beer per afternoon than Yankee Stadium .
Gabriela Barkho/Thrillist
Forty - six years of equanimous memorabilia , let in sepia - toned photos of preceding supporter and staff member , announces the transformation ( or lack thereof ) that the Boardy Barn has gone through in the past four - asset ten . Lit by neon beer - stigmatize signs and crowded with sweaty body in cooler tops , the outdoor blank space warps into a beer - drown twilight zone . accord to the chronicle onthe Boardy Barn website , one of the major change over the age has been the ill-famed dance floor , which at one point was made of concrete , but through 40 + year of wear and tear has since turn into a deep-set landmass .
“ The place is a phenomenon , ” a generator with Clare Rose , the distributer that provides the Boardy Barn with beer , once toldThe New York Post . “ I do n’t call back there is anything like it in the commonwealth . ”
Indeed , it was unlike any place I ’d ever check – bar or otherwise .
Boardy Barn
That includes the stickers . jaundiced smiley aspect spikelet are what the Barn is associated with the most – you ’ll discover them hold fast onto every open of every attendee ’s physical structure . The stickers are n’t just decorative , though . They actually ( kind of ) serve a purpose . While one attendee told me the hippie tokens of love are to be used for “ circulate felicity , love , and cheer,”BroBible has of course pointedout the more prankish side of their use . concord to the land site , “ The smiley stickers should be used as a strategical pick - up trick , ” as in : target them on your Boardy calf love ’s body to get them to notice you . While I ’d personally “ release ” a beer on anyone violating my space with this praxis , nearly everyone at the Barn is on circuit board with it . The amount of stickers you garner over the course of the day becomes something of a point of pride .
After the first hour or so of chop-chop gulping down some beer with unknown whose name I did n’t have to demand , it became strangely easy to forget that this was in no way my scene , and totally permit myself go ( and hope that my champion would n’t judge my six - beer - deep selfies ) . In what felt like no time at all I too was belting along to Bon Jovi while spilling cheap lager beer on my Nikes and escape to the dirty ( beggars ca n’t be choosers ) bathroom every 20 moment . I was n’t entirely sure if I was trying to force myself to have playfulness or if I really genuinely was enjoying being there .
Boardy Barn
Either way , I started to inquire why such an iconic place like Boardy Barn is n’t open yr - orotund , or at least more often than just the “ Summer Sundays ” rotation schedule it ’s maintain late . When I ask Melody why , she said Boardy Barn is typically find as a “ weekend cap ” where Long Islanders top off angry summertime nighttime out before heading household . Another regular I spoke to , a 29 - yr - quondam from Queens named Tom , told me he was there with a clustering of his friends “ cap off the fishing misstep over at Montauk . ” It was a little hard to twine my mind around the fact that a more - than - six - hour drinkathon could be debate an “ end of the weekend ” activity – even Tom was straightforward in ring the shot “ a dependable diddly show ” – but that ’s also part of the Boardy Barn spirit : why would n’t you drop a Sunday in the summertime drinking too much beer for hours in the sunlight ? What else are you going to do ?
I gestate the Barn to be full of habitue – people who have been coming for long time , knew the barkeep , and had scrapbook of collected dagger at home . But other than Melody and Tom , most of the people I meet were there for the first clock time .
A 22 - year - old named Jovanie , who ’s “ typically all about home music , anything electro , ” told me his first Boardy Barn experience was a nice change from the usual club scenes he hits up . “ My first thought of Boardy was the All - American kinda vibe , ” he said . “ Beers , blondes , and pretty - boys , you know ? ”
Gabriela Barkho/Thrillist
As for the infamous intoxicated rowdyism , Jovanie ’s first time at the Barn was a mixed bag of energy , he told me afterwards : “ Either mass were really chill and friendly , or [ inebriated ] and rude , ” he explicate . “ I ca n’t say I did n’t have a good time though ! I cerebrate the good part was … Oh , 13 beer in ? Singing ‘ Bye bye , miss American pieeeee ! ’ ”
This case of energy is on the nose what Boardy Barn ’s nostalgic seniority fly high on . Despite a kitschy report and inevitable vomiting throughout the afternoon , the atavist medicine and those infective yellowish smiley stickers make the vibe pretty resistless to give into . The trashy beer does n’t suffer , either .
Of of course , the Barn is n’t all Simple Plan and stickers and “ chill vibes . ” The “ dance floor ” produce overheat , and lines to the bathrooms and the prevention are endlessly recollective ( it ’s commend you order multiple beers to avoid constantly fall ) . As you could think , at a place where rules are virtually nonexistent , beer spillage is always expected ( sometimes intentionally ! ) , but as I keep being remind , “ it ’s all part of the experience ! ”
There is one real prescript at the Boardy Barn , though . Whatever you do , do n’t get ghastly in front of the “ just doing my task ” staff , enclothe in orange shirt . They will not pause to quickly see you out . ( A handy trick to mark : one Boardy tradition advises you bring through and stack all your beer cups as you wassail , so you could count them the next Clarence Shepard Day Jr. . Responsible ! ) . There ’s also a liquor stripe for those who favor cocktails , but I was warn early on on to quash the questionable mixers the legal profession uses in assorted drinks .
While the Boardy Barn seemed to hold up up to its ballyhoo ( inasmuch as it was 100 % , definitely a “ shit show ” ) , there were plenty of people who were n’t having it .
As a 22 - year - old named Katherine from Port Washington , NY , separate me while getting ready to provide , “ There are no hotties at Boardy Barn , we ’re manoeuvre to Fire Island . We were so excited to go but it was way too garish – Nassau girls do n’t mix with that . ”
Katherine ’s best protagonist Jess agreed that Boardy Barn did n’t live up to the hype , say that “ It was decent , but not as merriment as everyone claimed it to be . ”
Still , even for those who enjoy it , like Jovanie , the Barn was n’t exactly something they were ready to make into a drug abuse .
“ I almost made it ' til the very end , but wound up throwing up 30 minutes to close and doing a fiddling walk of shame out the doorway , ” he told me a few days later . “ Despite that , I had a great time ! Would I do it again ? Probably not … my liver would disown me . ”
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