Unlike the provision of babe names , which is replenish whenever a fame couple public figure their kid after a direction or a piece of fruit , the number of beer names is finite . And it ’s not surprising – with over 4,600 craft breweries in America each brewing a wide smorgasbord of beer , and a limited number of words to pick out from , it ’s unmanageable to select a beer name thathasn’t already been slapped on a recording label .
And while we recognize the plight of the beer maker in America regarding the naming crisis , we also have to point out some of the big offenders .
How the hell did we get to this point?
It was just last September that the Brewers Association ( the trade group that represent America ’s craftsmanship brewers ) proudly announced that the USA was home to over4,000 breweries . Theall - time highwas 4,131 , and it took just another 10 calendar month to break down that goal and hit our current count of over 4,600 .
It ’s funny to face back at the plain old names for beers back when there was barely any competition on the trade setting . Sierra Nevada had a Pale Ale , a Porter , and a Stout . Anchor Brewing , another West Coast OG , had a Porter , a Brown , and an IPA . Yuengling had its Lager . Those are not just the styles of the beer – those arealsothe oil production names , and they ’re all so wearisome I devolve asleep as I was typing them . At this head , it ’s unthinkable that you ’d name any of your flagship beers something that plain . Think of democratic modern - Clarence Shepard Day Jr. beer series – Great Divide ’s Yeti , Ballast Point ’s Sculpin – they ’re memorable as all get - out .
In today ’s market , you have to stand out with whatever you have at your electric pig .
Flickr/National Museum of American History
Craft brewers need the attention
As this very publicationreported a piddling over a year ago , there ’s a war in craft beer for shelf outer space and water faucet hold . No longer can a few Brobdingnagian craft brewery defend it out for your hard - earned dollars . Nowadays , brewery of all sizes are fight down to get your tending ( and your cash ) . One way is to brew off - the - wall beer , like New Belgium ( Ben & Jerry ’s flavors ! ) , Dogfish Head ( scrapple beer ! ) , or Flying Dog ( Old Bay beer ! ) . They can also utilise beautifulcan or bottleful artthat’ll make the beer pop in the liquor memory .
Another , much tatty way to get attention , is to give your beer a unbalanced name . In 2005 , I was live on the East Coast working a slow job ( as in , not my current chore ) , and a carbon monoxide gas - worker brought in a beer to keep . It was a bomber of Stone / Arrogant Brewing’sArrogant Bastard . Oh , how we laughed at the name ! He had no estimation what it tasted like , but the name cracked him up . The artistry was great too – and even unspoiled ? The beer was unhinged adept . I ca n’t remember which beer I had last night , but I can easily recall the dark I had my first Arrogant Bastard .
A unspoiled name can make a mark .
Kristin Hunt/Thrillist
These beer names are atrocious
Unfortunately , in the quest to get attention with a rum name , some breweries overlook the mark completely . There are plenty ofsexist names for beersout there : it ranges fromDeep Ellum ’s Dallas Blonde(“goes down easily , " says the can ) toSweetWater ’s Happy EndingtoMidnight Sun ’s Panty Peeler . And from the sexist to just plain sexual , there ’s always theGreat River Big Cock IPA(though go on partly benefit pheasant … ?),The Beer Research Institute ’s Morning Sex , andRevolution ’s Threesome .
While the sexually tinged beer names can be offensive to some people , there are other beer names that are just in general offensive to anyone with half a encephalon jail cell left . Yes , I ’m talking aboutpun - found beer namesthat give modern - day temper a bad name : AleSmith ’s Java the Nut , Ruckus ' Hoptimus Prime , andOskar Blues ' Mama ’s Little Yella Pils .
And permit us not forget the category of newfangled craft beer name that seem to say , " We ’ve given up on trying to amount up with anything good ! " I ’m looking at you , Tree House ’s JJJuliusss , Prairie ’s Standard , andMispillion River ’s Holy Crap ! . But since the craft boom shows no house of slow down down yet , and as the phone number of noms de guerre shrink , these kind of awfully named beer are break to continue to show up on shelf and tap handles .
Holy crap .
Sign up herefor our daily Thrillist email , and get your fix of the better in intellectual nourishment / drinkable / merriment .
