I ’ve see vision of Atlanta as a goddess , and I am in love . Lady ATL , you are beautiful , thinking , aphrodisiacal , compassionate , and own no deficit of personality . You ’re gracious when you demand to be but also know how to hold your earth if we push too far . You ’re glowing , you ’re fancy , you ’re crazy , and you ’re beautiful . I love you . We love you . When you get off work tonight and put on your favorite Jagged Edge or 112 ballad , read this missive just so you ’ll love of all the mode .
Your taste in music is impeccable
John Mayer made himself when he hold up with you . Organized Noize came from East Point and College Park and change pelvic girdle - hop music forever with OutKast , Goodie Mob , Joi , and other charter members of The Dungeon Family . You gave us Ying Yang Twins , Indigo Girls , Kris Kross , Young Jeezy , Freak Nasty , Gucci Mane , and even Lil Scrappy ! Word to Coca - Cola – you taught the cosmos to babble out .
Your unmatched dance moves
Nobody ’s mastered the art of taking musically motivated consistency movements and sending them viral like you have . Even NPR ’s Robert Siegel had to recognise : when a 20 - year - old call can do aright back and enter the top 10 bingle on the Billboard 100 chart , it ’s because Atlanta music is just so damn danceable . You taught us how to Dougie and gave us modern moves like the Whip / Nae Nae and the Dab , but you ’ve been training us to teach the rest period of Earth how to do the Soulja Boy , the Bankhead Bounce , and if you ’re a unfeigned ATLien , “ ragtop . ” YEET !
You’re country in all the right ways
As sophisticated as you are , with all that metropolis slickness , you have an accent that makes masses from England wonder if you have a right teaching . They see you wearing flip - washout with air sock , hear your drawn - out , syrupy vowel , and they imagine you ’ve survived entirely on Merle Haggard songs and a diet of fried meats , boil veggie & goober pea , and sweet cornbread . They do n’t get laid that you ’re general and worldly . Maybe it ’s because of your toes . Whatever it is , just keep sipping that over - sweet tea like a country Kermit the Frog meme , and give those carpetbagging hater no nevermind .
Your food. Your incredible food.
The intact planet came out of the culinary closet in the past few years , admitting that they were n’t just addicted to southerly food , but they turn down rehab . And you ca n’t blame them . Your food is at once traditional and intercontinental . You ’ve encounter a way to take the variety of your resident and flex their kitchen talent into something internationally recognizable yet totally singular . Sometimes it ’s Korean , Mexican , or all the other ethnic restaurant on Buford Hwy . Other time it ’s chicken and waffles , or shrimp and grits ( always with common salt , not sugar – let the debate end here ) , and angelical tea with vodka . And the shit tastes great !
Your ability to teach us patience on a daily basis
The dealings on your streets and highway has the ability to gravely depress all who are forced to commute day by day during flush hours . Whenever those of us who get catch in mindless stall accomplish the full stop where the route ultimately reopen for speed limit drive , we find oneself that our fellow traveler were usually just texting , or farting , or muse a quick and painless death with too much seriousness to actually get themselves move . We jeopardise these people with violence – or just gravely filthy faces and fist - handclasp . But with each twenty-four hours of endurance , we learn a little more about humanity – that is , that humans suck and are generally stupid , and my God , please be a ego - driving Prius . This finally allows for pardon of your fellow cretin . Thank you , Atlanta . And thanks , Obama .
You’re a mini-Mother Earth
Everybody ’s seen those artist ’ photographic print you’re able to purchase at any summertime ATL festival : some green - hued , flow - haired distaff deity , with leafy trees , vines , and other flora shoot from her digit to her understructure . The sexy Incredible Hulk . That ’s you and your urban forest , which blends with your sensible horizon to create a novel industrial aesthetic with a natural feel . The whole city sometimes looks like a metropolitan camping ground … but hey , that ’s much better than what ’s available in Florida .
Your open arms that take us in when we’re broke
Though the disruption of riches inequality is ridiculously wide-eyed in Atlanta , everybody bed that you may get by on much less money than you could in one of America ’s other major cities . “ Fake it ‘ til you make it ” is n’t just a phrase people cast around here ; it ’s an anthem – a rallying cry – for all who have inspiration to live in a metropolitan country with access to great eating place , art and culture , and with career opportunity from medical specialty to take and amusement . We had nothing , Atlanta , but you permit us ram on your proverbial sofa for months until we finally found that ambition occupation . We ’ll pay you back … once we ’ve move through bankruptcy .
You’re a model for tolerance
In the south , at least . Georgia ai n’t always the most progressive place . But , Miss Lady , you ’re so accepting and secure of people who are n’t like you , that you help equilibrize out the whole state . Just a few calendar week ago you keep us from looking like North Carolina ’s wretched , colored , segregator aunt , as well as Texas ’ toothless , trigger - happy cousin , when you told the governor you would n’t be sharing any more of your angelic dearest ( well , money ) with the rest of the state if he let discrimination in public bathrooms and hired gun on college campuses . You made a secure Deal .
Your seduction techniques that got us the Super Bowl
Sure , the Falcons – bless their hearts – are players ( in the actual sense only , it sometimes seems ) . But it was you who played the big secret plan and receive us the self-aggrandizing sports event in America . We will have a Modern stadium , which nobody ’s really certain we require , but oh valet , it ’ll have a retractable ceiling ! And will be see through ! And there ’s all sorting of development going on in Vine City because of the construction and economical impact a bowl host the giving game might have ! The question is : how tight we can get to actually playing in the championship ? perchance that ’s a ambition too presently dreamt .
Your style, which is finally good now
Atlantans are dressing so much cuter since travel on from our first decennium of the millenary . Not that we were as bad off as our cousins in Cobb County with their tractor couture , but we in spades need to produce up a bit and expand beyond our former range of ultra - prep Polo to white football tee and Jordans . Our pants definitely get slender , but at least they equip now . And our color schemes have gone from radioactive pastel to stuff that better matches our hairstyles and beard . You style us because you love us , and because you knew we ’d immediately face out of place if we ever left the city looking so improbably off-the-wall .
Your promise to let us go anywhere in the world
Even with three - hour waits at the security William Henry Gates , it ’s unvoiced to detest on Hartsfield - Jackson . Sure , some people refer to it with a platitudinous soubriquet , but you ’ve keep it classy by shouting out two extremely influential Atlanta mayors with our drome ’s name , putting zillion of dollars up to expand and cover to kick upstairs concourse , runways and terminals , and you may put us in many major cities in a single flight . Not to mention , your sophisticated palate lay out such a touchstone for the term “ airport food ” that we do n’t even mind come several hours betimes . More time to bask One Flew South . You ’re so damn rainfly .
Your language that no one else in the world can speak
You taught us to suppose of “ trapping ” as not just something you do with a hound . When you talk about the “ bando , ” you intend an abandoned house ( used for caparison ) , not a Burmese soldierlike prowess or some form of yoga , which we ’re sure you ’d look just as lovely doing . “ Twelve ” is not just a fancy hotel in Atlantic Station . And we do n’t even have to mention “ skeet , ” but we will – multiple time in a row . Atlanta , shawty , you thatfie .
You’re naked. A lot.
Even with fewer strip show club than you had back in the ‘ 90s , and even with these novel unified “ cities ” popping up and hear to coerce long - standing shoe - posture institutions out of townsfolk , everyone love who wears the strip social club crown . There ’s only one Magic City , and it certain as hell is n’t Miami .
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Chick-a-Biddy
Flickr/Daniel Gregory
Diesel Filling Station
Darryl Brooks/Shutterstock
Mercedes-Benz Stadium
Sean Pavone / Shutterstock.com
