Detroit's Creepiest Craigslist Roommate Ads

Brace yourself : raw inquiry show thatCraigslist is full of scams . Egads ! I know , it ’s like , your whole entire domain and sense of what is actual and reasonable has been completely shattered . So Detroit , would you like to do it who the biggest creep currently seeking roommates on Craigslist are ? Of of course you do . Here they are . Just remember , when search a roommate , if you ’re leery about buying furniture from a unknown on the net , WHY WOULD YOU MOVE IN WITH ONE ? ?

Just send photos for free room and board!

Sounds completely legit .

I just want someone to help keep my condo up

I ’m going to go out on a tree branch here and say that ’s not theonlything this no - rent - paying female person will be help keep " up " in this diminutive - yet - difficult - to - keep - up condominium . AY - OOOOO . * high - Phoebe *

Honestly, this isn’t even creepy

This fop knows what he want and place it right out there . Any surplus - belligerent domme expect for costless rent seems like she ’d have it made right here . Would n’t it be exhausting maintaining that overlord - striver dynamical 24/7 ? Like , what materialize when you wake up and all you want to do is drink your coffee and get caught up on the later in the presidential campaign circus , or you just feel like vegging out on the couch and binging on the first season ofUnbreakable Kimmy Schmidtagain before the novel season drops ? Surely even dommes have normal , deadening people lives once they peel off that letters patent leather . A hold up spot like this would inevitably terminate up let down the pathetic " slaveboy " whose domination fancy ca n’t maybe be satisfied around the clock . Then again , I suppose she could always just tie him up in a closet and leave him there when she wants to get around to her grown - up stuff .

… Let the horror of this one sink in

This 55 - year - erstwhile white male person is seeking a disabled , homeless female – who must submit her photo along with her age for him to think allowing her to move in – to stay in his home rip - free and sleep on asleeper sofa in his living room , though it ’s doubtful that ’s where he really designate for her to log Z’s . I ’m not sure if this is a fetish matter ( disabled , homeless ) or an opportunist thing ( money from SSI benefits ? ? ? ) . But then , he ’s offering " destitute " rent by preying on desperate woman without resource or recourse , who will accept a free spot to live on in interchange for pretty obvious sexuality thralldom . No matter where this one land , it ’s appal .

Help save Detroit!

There is nothing at all wrong with this post except for the fact that you would have to experience with one of those overly exuberant Detroit settler couples who are completely too unrestrained about their glorified fixer - upper with a STATE - OF - THE - ART 32 - point in time SECURITY CAMERA system of rules . ( Which , I mean , and this is just me , if my living situation requires me to have a 32 - compass point security camera organization and it is n’t for a $ 12 million Malibu mansion , I might just find myself a different living situation . But that ’s just me ! )

I realize this is a joke post, buuut…

I kind of require to call on this listing ?

This guy clearly hasn’t heard of Grindr

in earnest , guy , there ’s an app for that .

This girl doesn’t need a roommate, she needs a friend

The kind of friend you see in pic where the friends spend all of their time together and talk about everything together and jade each other ’s clothes and disregard their hair to take care like each other ’s and hook up with each other ’s boyfriends …

If this photo were actually the guy who posted this ad, I might even look into it myself

But I 100 % guarantee you this is not the actual guy cable . I promise you this . Also , so much to be tell about " Do you fume ? " hem : " Because you ’re on FIRE ! " * high - Phoebe *

That sad, frightening photo…

The itemization itself is unobjectionable enough ( unless you consider that it ’s in Roseville ) , until you attend at the exposure of the " elbow room " being declare oneself . Also , $ 400 probably covers the entire mortgage . If you ’re last to be forced to populate in that pitiable elbow room , you should at least get free rent . Dude needs to take a cue from some of these other hombre here .

Looking for the “girlfriend experience”

The worst part about this post is that , as of the time I am submitting this account for issue , it is the only one that has been slacken off for removal after at least a week . Once again , Craigslist is full of cozenage ( and also scantily - concealed sexual activity trafficking solicitations ) , and they ’re doing a shit job of policing them . Have a nice day .

Man with flowers in his mouth