Restaurants are the go - to for so many social and professional social occasion . Whether you ’re in for a professional sports meeting - up , brunch with protagonist , or an overdue date night with your longtime pardner , the convo - and - cuisine combo is , in worldwide , the perfect fallback option .
But as a first date ? No thanks , I ’d rather thrust bamboo under my fingernail while listening to Yoko Ono call on repeat .
Just because it ’s been a courtship staple since evermore does n’t mean it ’s a expert idea , any more than put garlic lolly and onion soup just before become in for the first kiss is a good musical theme . Not convinced ? Let ’s break it down .
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You’ve got spinach in your teeth
allow me be blunt here : no one looks attractive while they ’re eating . Not you , not your date , not even Hollywood celebrities . ( Ever encounter a tabloid pic of a noted person wolfing down a double - heap hamburger ? I rest my case . )
Sure , the way of life he slurps his spaghetti like a tike or the way she always takes 20 minutes to order might become an lovely crotchet by and by on . But when it come to first impression , gnawing on BBQ ribs is far from alluring . Salad is n’t any safer . For whatever reason , restaurants love to serve giant - sized leaves of lettuce in their salad that are all but impossible to tally into a human - sized backtalk without unhinging your jaw like a Snake River . You could assay take a tongue to your edible hobo camp , but then you ’re potential to get that look that articulate , " Are you gaga ? Why are you using a steak tongue on yoursalad ? "
By the way , if you do somehow rule yourself at the local eatery during your first romantic tryst , bring a soup-strainer . Murphy ’s law of dating says that if you’re able to get a huge clod of food stuck in your front teeth while essay to woo your likely futurity SO , you will .
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Two words: gastrointestinal distress
Even if you get by to select a eatery with an appealing menu and reasonable terms – both of those are BIG ifs ! – you ’re still move a serious risk by trusting your stomach to do the right affair . Our GI system work in mysterious ways , and there ’s no telling if or when two ostensibly unobjectionable foods might have an unexpected chemical reaction that will chair to mortifying results .
There are a million unlike factors working at the same time to determine if and when your food will take issue with you . Even ordering an old favorite does n’t vouch that it wo n’t broadcast you racing to the bath midway through your meal , or ram you to make the impossible pick between whether to let one rip ( and hope your date does n’t try ) or courageously taste to arrest it in .
And if youdidorder that garlic bread and onion soup ? Well , I just go for you carry an emergency supply of breathing space - freshening good deal in your pocket at all meter . Otherwise , you ’re screwed .
It’s like a job interview, only worse
Even when I ’m out with a familiar face , I prefer to sit next to the soul , rather than across from them . It ’s cozier , more intimate , and less confrontational . fillip : it puts you in prize place to snag a bit off their plate before they can fight back .
Sitting across from someone in a one - on - one setting is far too redolent of an audience , especially given all the doubt you ’ll be require each other . Unless , of course , you ’re stuck in perpetual awkward muteness , which is far , far bad . In fact , a lot of date advice newspaper column have show out the similarity between a first date and a job interview : in both case , you ’re dressing up and trying to put your good foundation forward in the Hope of insure a callback .
Realizing the connection , of class , only makes it seem that much more spunk - wracking . At least at the end of a job audience , you get to go home knowing you ’ll never have to see that person again unless they really liked you . Rarely will you get so lucky in the world of Latinian language .
Nerves , of course , are part and parcel of a first date . So why would you want to put yourself in a billet that ’ll just ramp up the anxiety even more ?
Talk about being under pressure…
permit ’s say , for argument ’s sake , you actuallylikesitting across from citizenry . Fine . But what about the equivalence factor ? First escort dinner are such a cliché , it ’s nearly impossible to avoid remember back to all the other time you took a guy or missy out to consume for the first sentence . Not to observe the quintillion dinner - date aspect Hollywood has managed to shove into every fixed storage - com ever .
The thing is , the compare - and - contrast plot is unwinnable . One of two thing will inevitably chance : your encephalon will kindly dredge up the tough faux - pas you ’ve ever committed and give you drain societal anxiety , or you ’ll think of Cameron Diaz and Jude Law chatting in a fancy French bistro and realizethisdate does n’t even come close . Inevitably , you ’ll find yourself subconsciously struggle to either avoid the misapprehension of the past tense or to measure up to insufferable standards . Neither of these , of course of action , will accomplish anything besides adding extra pressure to an already stressful event .
Break the mould and opt for a better , more everyday choice . look at mini golf game , or a trip to the museum , or attending a local festival – literallyanythingmore creative and enjoyable than the nightmare of the first date dinner . The future yin to your yang will thank you for it .
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Kim Berkleyis a freelance author who would rather just skip dinner party and go straight to the flick , if that ’s alright with you . finger free to ask her anything except out to eat via Twitter:@dreamwarrior13 .
