As much as we lie with watch the Longhorns and hearing a sure advert waffle about the futurity of a certain head coach , let ’s be honest : The real variation of a UT football game is the tailboard . Sure , there ’s the game , but the existent creativity , camaraderie , and dusty beverage are found in a steaming parking lot with a bunch of fellow bleeding - Orange River buff . There ’s something surreal about the way our wearisome mineral pitch wasteland transforms overnight into a proverbial fair of competition and usance . In the involvement of being prepared , boy scout - way , here ’s everything you emphatically will see at a Longhorns tailgate .
Boots with the skirt
UT ’s iron heel & skirts ( or dresses ) are as ubiquitous as Alabama ’s houndstooth . It does n’t matter if the temps are a nerveless 100 + ; gals are cavort the swampy footwear . Two - footfall or tailgate ? No one know . And they ’re not the only ones . gentleman also rock the short circuit - and - boot feeling , albeit moderately less attractively .
Body-sized coolers
The implications are somewhat morbid … but is there any other way to describe it , really ? Bigloos serve many mathematical function at Texas tailgates – they house booze , they ’re a seat for aweary tailgate travelers , and of course , they ’re used as makeshift buffet table . In any other context , we ’d be come to about so many ways to cool huge quantities of core . Here , they ’re the mug of a pro .
The glory-days alum
See over yonder , the gray - haired humans with Scotch in hand , pontificate at duration about the school ’s gloriole day , his clip of gold spring chicken . “ Why I commend … ” or ” Back in my day … ” is essentially the cue for a ready mental snooze … unless of track they ’re pay up your tutelage or give you a job , then you smile and nod . We get it : No one on ground will punt as well as Russell Erxleben . Juuuust grin and nod .
Actual professional tailgates
The fighter and the cryer
Two things you could set your vigil to : There ’s always a swole bro looking to liven up things up with a little pugilism , and there ’s always a girl sitting on a curb somewhere crying . you’re able to seek to help them both , but really , there ’s no means to repair this . It ’s induced by too many glacial bevs and too much spicy sun . Make certain they ’ve got sunscreen on and are coherent , and keep on keepin ’ on .
Heroic drinking games
Beer pong , flip cup , cornhole , washers , lawn golf game – UT fans take these to the next level . The competition may soon be on the athletic field , but in the interim , fans are talk an equal amount of smack on the tailgating sphere . It ’s not uncommon to see a table 20 - deep with impudent - cup players yelling , chug , flipping , and doing it all over again . The biz before the secret plan is every bit sacred and just as rowdy .
The rumble of generators
There are a short ton of folks for whom tailgating IS the sport . UT does a particularly good chore of ensure there ’s an on - pavement option that ’s living way - esque in its intensity . Among the cheers and jeers , there ’s an undercurrent of enough generator to weather a hurricane . Smart fans skip the $ 65 slate in favour of a breezy non - stadium hind end experience .
Matthew McConaughey
Austin aboriginal Matt McConaughey kicked off the 2016 season for the Longhorns with an inspiring pep lecture before the Notre Dame time of year opener . As you probably do it , UT break down on to bring home the bacon that plot . This is n’t his first or last appearing – MM is a ‘ 93 grad , and you’re able to find him around campus and on the sidelines doing his best Jack Lengyel fromWe Are Marshall .
The superfan
you may sense him coming a mi away , even in a sea of fandom . He ’s the guy who resemble nothing so much as a au naturel Oompa - Loompa . That ’s because he ’s legit nous - to - toe in burn orange . Body key , Texas T , patterned pants , giant drinking fist , and optional actual set of horn . You have to look up to the dedication – just be wary of getting a saddle horn to the eye .
The sweet whiff of porta potties
As the twenty-four hour period gets increasingly hotter and the drink flow like water system , the previously pristine porta toilet turn into the seventh lot of hell . Two rules : Take TP . Do n’t take your cell speech sound . In the end , we really do appreciate that there ’s an alternative to the between - two - trucks pop out - a - knee bend .
So many Hook ‘em Horns
The Hook ‘ Em hand sign is arguably one of the most recognized in college football . Everyone from your three - twelvemonth - quondam niece to your 98 - year - old grandpa is flashing the horns , index and little finger finger lead stiffly out . It ’s used as a catchall salutation as well in lieu of hello , goodby , rationalize me , and thanks , brah .
The shotgun show-off
This beer - chug , can - crushing champion can not be nonplus … and he ’ll let you know it . It ’s never too former to put a newbie shotgunner in their space . He bully around like a banty cock , challenging the remainder of us gull . If you do win the dubious award of being the degraded shotgun in the lot , your reign as top executive will be peppered with additional challengers . It ’s a lose / lose .
Swanky parental tailgates
Somewhere between college and being 50 , a switch switch on the tailgating script . ma and dads eschew the Solo cup for Sunday best . Just go onwards and indulge that sweet , proud UT parent put up you orange - frost cookies and La Croix . Take this opportunity to counteract the dieting of Lone Star and street meat you ’ve been scarfing .
An endless stream of “Texas, Fight!” calls
Texas fans like nothing better than to randomly yell things and have other citizenry shout thing back . No matter what time of day , someone is break to flatten a “ TEXAS ! ” sunshine and you ’re obligated to respond with a “ FIGHT ! ” This twelvemonth , the random yell - a - thon has level off up with a " SWOOPES ! " " THERE IT IS ! " option .
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Horn-Ball Texas Tailgaters
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Flickr/Dan Morales
