Florida is a tremendously beautiful res publica load with creation - renowned beach , an abundance of flora & fauna , and no less than eight major theme ballpark … but hardly anyone remembers the Sunshine State for its benevolent accolades . And why would they when so many of the country ’s most asinine news narrative come out of it ?
These 17 on-key tales of ridiculousness on the route are taken fromOh , Florida ! : How America ’s Weirdest State Influences the Rest of the Country , and , if anything , will finally help you understand how and why NASCAR got begin here .
The road rage incident where one driver accidentally ran over himself
Gainesville police force say the driver of a pick-me-up pound into the rear of another fomite . The pickup number one wood then jump off out and banged on the other equipment driver ’s windshield . The cleaning lady drive have scared and drive off … and because the cartridge driver forget to put the truck into park , it rolled right over him .
The driver who crashed while shaving her pubes
" She said she was see her fellow in Key West and require to be ready for the sojourn , " a land cavalryman told reporters . The woman ask her ex - husband – yes , he was in the passenger rump – to take the wheel while she wielded her razor , and then her Thunderbird rear - ended a tone arm .
The driver who rear-ended someone while having his own rear-end problem
An inebriated gadget driver thrash into the bottom of another car in Hobe Sound . While he was in a patrol car direct to gaol , his butt stopple come down out .
The time so many Florida drivers crashed into post offices that the U.S. Postal Service had to beg them to stop
In 2012 , Florida post authority were repeatedly remove by drivers who keep – supposedly – mistaking their brake pedals for their gas pedal . The Postal Service ran a public inspection and repair advert asking Florida driver to please be more careful .
The Uber driver who pulled a gun on his passenger
The Uber driver in a Lexus break up up several Manatee County passengers . When one said he felt like throwing up , the driver pull a gun and said he better get out and not mess up a $ 75,000 car .
The tractor-trailer truck crash that killed a shark
Four shark were take a road trip to New York in the back of a trucking rig when the tractor - drone mishandle a tire and skidded off into a ditch . One of the shark was thrown from the hand truck and died instantly . The other three go and in all likelihood went on to ride the Cyclone after arriving in Coney Island .
The half-wit driver who accidentally locked himself in his own trunk
A gentleman in Marathon somehow managed to shut away himself in the trunk of his own Lincoln Continental – but of course left all the other door undefended . A deputy sheriff rescue him , then ticketed him for willpower of pot .
The time a truck crashed into a dangling gator
In 2015 , a hand truck driver cruising down the interstate in rural Jackson County slammed into an curious obstruction . law discovered that someone had belt down an alligator , wrap a chain around it , and hang its carcass over an overpass in an elbow grease to make Florida even more nonsensical and badly - perceived than anyone ever thought possible .
The time that cops found a stolen car with a naked woman inside
Someone stole a man ’s car from a Palm Springs franchise , where it was being serve . When the cops found it , they also found a fair sex inside , unconscious … and completely naked . The owner enounce she might have get the keys to the elevator car while visit his family . Some mysteries are better leave unsolved .
The driver who had a decidedly squirrelly passenger
Clay County deputies pulled over a driver they had blob weaving all over , pass off the road , nearly hitting a parked car . He explicate that he had a squirrel in his shirt , and it was eating him . “ I had the suspect secure the squirrel and then exit the fomite , ” the officer reported . The driver was charged with a DUI . The squirrel was resign , a decision everyone find odd give its attempted homicide .
The strange case of the kamikaze buzzards of the Everglades
In the mid-’70s , just after Alligator Alley was open , turkey buzzard repeatedly attack the railcar and trucks , diving straight into – and through – their windshields . To this day , no one has ever figured out why .
The most boring car chase in history
A man steal a front - end loader from a construction site and led police on an fabulously slow speed chase at 25 miles per hour . For 90 minutes . They at long last caught him when he run out of gas pedal .
The time a woman ran over someone for being in her way
A DeLand womanhood in a Kia , trying to veer around another car , escape over a footer , then maintain move . When police caught up with her , she explained she did n’t intend to anguish the hombre but “ he was in my way . ”
The naked speed demon with the happy mugshot
This guy cable was pulled over while doing 110 mph across the Everglades on Alligator Alley . He had three distaff passengers , a 12 - pack of Corona , and he was bare . No wonder he was smiling in his mugshot .
The incident with the rake, a chainsaw, and a pregnant woman
One pickup truck passed another one near Panama City , so course everyone pull out over and piled out in the road for a fighting – even a fraught woman . After hitting each other with a profligate and a cricket bat , one piece stress to start a chain saw to take this fight toAnchorman - esque level . Luckily , it would n’t reverse on , and eventually the fight was broken up by a Department of State cavalryman , a police ship’s officer , and two public-service corporation workers .
The episode with sex, guns, and palm trees
A Port Charlotte woman was hand a humanity oral sex while he was drive . She then suddenly pull out a .357 Magnum and point it as his head , ask money . Being caught with his knickers down and a gun to his head , he punched her in the face , but lost control of the automobile and hit a medal tree . Both come through the collapse . Their dignity remains at with child .
The zombie-eyed pig incident
bull in Orlando pull over a driver for DUI and discovered she was , as a headline put it , a “ zombi - eyed woman dressed as a pig in a bathing causa . ” Also , it was nt Halloween . Just kidding , it was totally Halloween … but realistically , this could have well been just another day on a Florida highway .
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Jason Hoffman/Thrillist
Jason Hoffman/Thrillist
Jason Hoffman/Thrillist
