It was eight months ago when a gynaecologist took a seat between my legs and instantly say , “ Oh yes . This is emphatically venereal herpes virus . ”

Everything halt : the whir of the bright light , the tick of the clock , all the breath in the way . Hot tears leak out of my eyes and down my cheeks . I was 27 years old .

For the next eight months , I ’d be on a crimper coaster of abide through a painful viral outbreak , several conflicting diagnosis , and learning first - helping hand the despicable stigma surrounding one of the themost prevalent STDs   on the planet .

herpes test

Oren Aks/Thrillist

Cultures and blood tests don’t always agree

A calendar week after my doctor ’s visit , I got the results of my test . The culture for Herpes Type 2 ( genital herpes virus ) came back positive – but the blood test was negative . The nurse drive home the news say given the culture ’s outcome , I had herpes – but append that the electronegative blood test did grow some supercilium . She encouraged me to get retested at my next outbreak .

Consideringthe American Sexual Health Association advertise that blood mental test for genital herpes virus are incredibly accurate , I ’d say it makes a lot of sense that an eyebrow should have conjure up .

Nevertheless , whatever I had was absolutely excruciating . I was bedridden for four week , ineffective to go to the bathroom unless I was in a bathing tub of urine ( and even still the pain left me crying ) , sitting and lie on ice packs at all hours of the day , and racked with a 104 - degree feverishness .

When the botheration subsided , I transitioned into the next stage of this venereal infection : being soundly disdain time and again by hombre I like as soon as I told them I had herpes . It ’s strong in circumstance like this to not become positive you ’re a unspeakable someone : a slut , monster , scourge of the ground … you name it . This venereal disease has a the pits of a report .

I went from being told I had herpes, to being told I might not

The next time I found something resemble sores around my crotch , I paid my physician another sojourn . I was certain it was a 2d outbreak ,   and I was ready to get retested . No more raised brow , I wanted real answers : If I was living as someone who had Herpes when I really did n’t have Herpes , I wanted the nightmare to end NOW .

But It was n’t another eruption . He looked at it and order , “ That ’s not herpes , ” with the same condemnation he used eight months prior for a dissimilar diagnosing . He reviewed my initial test results . “ This is impossible , ” he said . “ How can you have a positive culture and negative blood test ? One of these test is wrong . ”

He put another line of descent mental testing immediately . And for the first time in eight month , it look like there might be a light at the end of a very long , frightening tunnel .

There is a serious problem with STD testing in this country

reverse out herpes ismisdiagnosed 20 % of the metre , with professional mistake everything from fungous and yeast infections to other skin experimental condition for the STD . The tests themselves are also inaccurate ; give way to detect up to 25 % of"true positivist " lawsuit . It can takeup to 16 weeks to for virtually anyone with herpes to have the antibodies show up in an STD blood test .

Not only that , but a acculturation ’s accuracy decreases dramatically after the first 48 hours of the sores ’ initial visual aspect , according to theAmerican Sexual Health Association ( ASHA ) . My civilisation mop was look at four 24-hour interval after the sores appeared , cause my Doctor of the Church to believe it could have produced inaccurate results .

The closest thing Herpes symptomatic process have to 100 % truth is something address theWestern Blot , a serologic or pedigree test that has 99 % accurate results . But that trial run is only available through theUniversity of Washington– a fact I found hard to conceive until I called the Virology Lab at Washington U to confirm .   And sure enough , they told me that they are the ONLY FACILITY IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY that can declare oneself a readable herpes virus diagnosing . So , an Venus’s curse that allegedly strike one in five Americans can only be tested with accuracy at ONE medical facility .

give this clusterfuck , it seemed that my exam results very well could be inaccurate , and I was n’t alone . While researching , I discovered that three of my close friends also got herpes virus misdiagnoses .

Treatment for herpes relies on consistent test results

My second bout of ancestry resolution get along back positive for Herpes Type 2 . But given my want of outbreaks ( zero in the eight month since my initial diagnosis ) and anterior negative results , this see - sawing of results still was n’t conclusive enough to earn me a ethical drug for Valacyclovir , a daily medicine that when used in conjunction with prophylactic reduces the endangerment of transmission to cooperator to 1.9 % , accord to medical studies conducted on patients with recurrent outbreaks .

want to protect my next partner with such a low transmission pace , I visited an Infectious Disease Specialist . There I learned that someone like me , who is symptomless ( no outbreaks ) , has a contagion charge per unit even crushed than 1.9 % . In fact , harmonise to an unpublished sketch performed by the medico ’s coworker , my transmittance charge per unit , when using rubber and immunosuppressive therapy like Valocyclovir , is closelipped to 0 % .

The specialist said that , given such a low transmission risk , I really do n’t have to disclose that I have it to succeeding partners . If you find that hard to believe , then this will seem totally phantasmagoric : FOUR OTHER MEDICAL master repeated this sentiment … none of whom wished to be call in this article .

It’s nearly impossible to get clear information on the herpes virus

Google “ herpes ” and you ’ll get plenty of conflicting answer : you will always send the computer virus during sexual practice , you seldom transmit the virus during sex , you ’ll have multiple eruption a year , you rarely have any outbreaks , if you have Type 1 then you ca n’t contract Type 2 , having Type 1 does not exclude you from contracting Type 2 , it ’s not a big mint , it ’s a really vainglorious deal , and on and on and on .

Even with the swarm of confusion shrouding herpes , one thing everyone agrees on is that it is one of the most common STDs , it is not life - threatening , and most hoi polloi who have Herpes Type 2 ( a walloping 81%)don’t know they have it .

Statistically , if you have had sex with more than four woman or more than five men , you have already had sex with someone carrying theHerpes character 2 computer virus . The reality is , most people with herpes virus do n’t sleep together they have it because the majority of the prison term , it ’s dormant and inactive … although still communicable .

Actually , the Center for Disease Control’swebsiteadvocates NOT essay for Herpes because there is no proof that knowing if you have the disease or not will alter sexual behavior and thus bound transmission . Because there ’s no proof of the benefit of examination , “ the risk of dishonor and stigmatizing people outweighs the potential welfare . For these reason , test everyone for Herpes is not recommended at this time . ”

And there it is : our home standpoint on herpes testing : it ’s better to not know because you do n’t want your feelings to get injure .

Life doesn’t end at herpes

The unfathomable populace standing on Herpes testing allow for people like me , who DID get prove and DO know they have it , deport the grunt of that shaming and stigmatise the CDC is so concerned about . As a responsible adult , I prefer to reveal to my collaborator that I have herpes ; while 81 % of hoi polloi with my precondition do n’t – in part because doctors wo n’t test for it without symptom , even though the virus is asymptomatic the absolute majority of our life-time .

When I was diagnosed , I mean my life was over . My sentiments were confirmed a few month later , I met a man I want in my life for the long full term . My diagnosis scared him away . And at the death of this scarey year , when I was name AGAIN , I had to go through all that pain all over again – or so I thought .

The reality is , herpes virus is more of a pain than a life - ending job . If you finagle it , are open with your collaborator , you quickly let out that living and dating with herpes virus is most the same as without it . I still have sexuality , I still date , I still use up cereal in my bed with no pants on . I’m still grotesque . The biggest job with herpes ? The aesculapian community ’s contradictory method of testing , and advice for those of us with it , has convinced everyone to think it ’s the biggest problem .