Houstonians are pretty open about their vice wish , say , theirWhataburger obsession– look around you right now , we calculate there ’s at least one soul stuffing their face with a Green Chile Double , sans guilty conscience . There are other behaviors , however , that topical anesthetic will never quite openly admit they love , but OMG they love them so much . Whether it ’s a sinfulness of gluttony or a bad riding habit that makes you a total Chad , we know all of your foul piddling mystery .
Pretending to like brisket and ribs without barbecue sauce
“ Good brisket does n’t NEED sauce , ” you say . “ The literal spirit is in the meat and barque , ” you claim . “ Only savage would ruin Texas barbecue with sauce ! ” you shout . You have to keep up appearances and pretend to be a BBQ elitist , but you on the QT think dipping that as if by magic fume meat and cutting the fat with a tangy BBQ sauce is delicious as hell and you know it . As long as you do n’t openly admit to preferring Carolina - style barbecue , you should be fine .
Not walking anywhere
We all kvetch about have to drive everywhere because Houston is so sprawled and we wish well we could walk but it ’s not pedestrian friendly and blah blah blah . But the 2d someone suggests walking to the streak because it ’s only like 10 minute aside , you ’re already on your iPhone rank an Uber .
Subtle brags about the 80 degree weather in February
let in it , you abuse the hell out of that temperature Snapchat filter .
Getting away with eating what is basically a hot dog for breakfast
The fact that kolache – or more accurately , klobasniky – are for the most part hot dogs enfold in sweet scratch along with cheese and jalapeño , and are an acceptable breakfast in Houston , is what makes this city swell . We do n’t care if it fools on the nose no one .
Using Rodeo as an excuse for a weekday bender
So you volunteer at the Rodeo , how very honorable of you ! Let us infer , you ’re in the Corral Club , which imply you serve your mission in the Hideout serving drinks to girls in cowboy boots and spend the other 16 days seeing free Brad Paisley shows and fix free booze from your fellow volunteers . Sure you fire up up in panic next to a bag of chocolate - covered bacon every dawn , but it ’s for charity !
Claiming you’re not going toShot Barbut ending up at Shot Bar
It does n’t count good you are at adulting or how you really “ prefer red wine over anything else these days . ” Because even though you were totally against going to that “ shitshow of a bar ” at the beginning of your Thursday evening , you totally suggested it towards the end . Like a moth to the fire .
Getting Taco Cabana
There are sooooo many good taquerias with handmade tortillas and authentic offerings , grade from breakfasty numbers like chorizo y papas con huevo to lunchier things like lengua and al curate . work any corner and you ’ll find excellent Tex - Mex spot with steak fajitas , gusty tacos , and queso for days . Yet somehow , you still find yourself face first into a Taco Cabana burrito trough every other hebdomad .
Being “forced” to skip a workout because of the weather
You were unquestionably planning on going to bootcamp this morning and not be sitting in pj’s pants on your couch splurge watchingThe O.C.on Netflix , but then it just started torrential - downpouring out of nowhere ! Just like last dark , when after work it was still 85 - feels - like-95 degrees out so you had to go to glad hour or else of meeting up with your running society at Memorial Park .
Really, it being too hot out to do anything but sit at an ice house all day
You ca n’t help that beer is moth-eaten and running errands is not .
The Galleria
Fact : though you always feign vexation at “ having to run ” to the Galleria , the only thing you in reality hate is try out to park there . The rest , from pass alone too much money on rubber boat shoe to the food for thought court circling and sampling game , is pure glory . Inferno , you may even ice skate one day , but emphatically not today because your foot are commonplace and you think you ’ve earn yourself a beer .
Complaining about changing neighborhoods to anyone within ear shot
Yet still confab up the blistering , gluten - gratis barista at the 100 % local , raw , constitutive , and sustainable succus bar down the street that you frequent Emily Price Post - physical exertion . We get it , you ’ve lived here incessantly and have sworn an cuss to “ Keep Montrose Weird , ” but you sort of like the newfangled shop class and barroom start up around the ‘ hood . Minus the Mattress Firms . Nobody likes those .
Overly gluttonous, Texas-sized portions
Go forwards and pretend for one second that you ’re not happy that side of Christopher Fry you govern with your chicken Caesar salad is enough to feed a minuscule family . No one believes you . We have a go at it you “ detest to rot food ” so you make certain you get through that CFS that ’s bigger than your headland , too .
Judging people that live outside The Loop
Or if you subsist outside The grommet , gauge multitude that pay five times your rent to live inside The Loop .
Living close to Austin
You ’re # HtownRideOrDie , always repping Houston and ripping those Hill Country Hipsters every chance you get . Yet when someone suggests a weekend lam , you could much taste Gourdough ’s Mother Clucker in your mouth .
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*Flickr/viviandnguyen_*
Killen’s BBQ
Houston Rodeo|Flickr/Katie Haugland
Taco Cabana|Flickr/Thomas Hawk
Houston Galleria|Flickr/Thomas Hawk
Oversized Texas portions|Beaver’s
