I ’m all for get some casual ass after a Nox out . There is nothing wrong with aone - night stand . But you ’ve bring forth ta include , one - night stands are a tricky business even for the most veteran casual - sexxers among us . On one hand , you scored some stern .
On the other , you ’re now confront with morning - after awkwardness , awalk of shame , and the need to conduct yourself in the ensuing days like a normal , reasonable , rational human being .
Do you text ? Do you ask her out again ?
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
as luck would have it , we have the ultimate guide for you : the quintessential ONS execution handbook for all your casual - sex pauperism .
Here is how to have a successful , insouciant hoyden while avoiding all the heavy one - dark stand mistakes so many of us make .
Ladies, always have an extra pair of underwear
Fuck having a perspirer or a hat , you should always have an spare dyad of underclothes on your individual .
Always .
This is one of the many lessons I acquire in my 20s that has come in ready to hand unnumerable time . No matter the Nox , the time of year , or what you have planned ; always have a alteration of underpants with you . adhere them in your backpack , handbag , or a very cryptic pocket , I do n’t care .
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
You never really know where the night is going to take you and the last thing you need is a vagina you could literally smell . This is n’t just because of sexual activity , either . Sometimes you just necessitate to put on a fresh pair of panties .
Don’t expect the other person to have condoms
I feel like a lot of fair sex do n’t want to carry rubber because it makes them look " slutty " and a lot of bozo do n’t carry rubber because they do n’t need to wear upon them . Being slutty is a in force thing so get your brain out of your fuck and not wearing a safe is fucking mute .
It ’s salutary to have sex , as long as you ’re safe about it .
It ’s a sight good to have backup resources than it is to find out halfway through foreplay that no one has a safety and you ’re fucked ( not in a good way ) . Always have condoms in your purse or scoop .
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
Don’t sneak out in the morning, it’s tacky
PLEASE do n’t run out at 6 am after screwing a alien . You should n’t be ashamed of the sex you just had . It ’s good you had sex . Yay you !
Now , if it ’s 11 am and this dude or lady is still passed out and you ’re bored , certain you could leave . You are not hold to expect until sleep beauty has woken up if you have stuff to do today . That ’s not sneak out – that ’s just remembering you have a pile of washables to do and groceries to grease one’s palms . ataraxis out !
Actually, if you can keep the one-night stands at your apartment, that’s ideal
If you ’ve got the choice , convey the guy or little girl back to your place instead of choose for his or her shitty flat in Bumblefucknowhere , Queens . All of your stuff is at menage . There is no stride of superbia . you may slumber in your own seam .
NOTE : if you ’re loath to alien sleeping over or have problem say someone to get out of your place , go to his or her flat .
Breakfast is nice, but it shouldn’t be expected
Do n’t stick around in the morning with the expectation that this cat or girl is going to make / buy you breakfast . It would emphatically be polite if they offered breakfast , but they are not hold to feed you .
Do n’t ask for it . It ’s unmannerly and make things uncanny . Err on the side of caveat . If he or she suggests breakfast , cool . If not , just go home and make yourself some egg .
Feel out your goodbye
Hopefully , this guy rope or lady friend will take the air you to the doorway ( if he or she does n’t , a undulation arrivederci from the bed will do ) . Make your goodbye friendly and gelidity . by all odds do n’t seek to come in for a kiss . Just give them a agile hug , leave , and go on about your day .
If he or she wants to kiss you and you ’re not down , just sham to short see a clitoris on your shirt that might be falling off . Pretend that button is REALLY interesting .
Avoid double texting (or triple texting, I see you!)
It ’s dead acceptable to text your ONS and say you had a nice time last dark . That is civil . Some citizenry might say do n’t text this person at all , but it ’s always good to be favorable ( assume things went well ) . If you require to go out again , you’re able to paint a picture that .
DO NOT double or triplex text your ONS if they do n’t reply . No reply = no interest . Is that rude ? Yes . But it does not give you the right hand to go completely harebrained on this person , let loose the wrath of scorned lovers everywhere . It does not make you search cool , strong , or voguish . It makes you look flaming gaga .
Remind yourself that this was a ONS
Do n’t make this something it ’s not . Do n’t loaf at his or her apartment and do not carry that this person is going to pass the rest of the day with you . This is very likely not going to become a family relationship .
This random cat or girl you met last dark is not the person of your ambition . That ’s really o.k. .
You do n’t have to feel pressured to make this intend something to make yourself feel better about fucking someone . That ’s not respectable . Just go home , have a loving cup of tea , and orgy - watch over your pet show .
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
Stop caring what someone else thinks about you
I have far too many girl messaging me and call me saying they ’re worried they look like sluts after a ONS . Who care what some cat or girl ( who was have sexuality with you last night ) thinks about your pick ? If he or she decides to estimate you , they suck in . Move on from those feelings of guilt . Ai n’t nobody got meter for that .
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Cole Saladino/Thrillist
