Maybe it was the endless hours of syndicatedCheersreruns I consumed ( thanks dad ) or my household ’s transient lifestyle that moved me from state of matter to country before I ever oversee to muster up a sense of belonging ( shoutout to therapy ) , but my ideal image of adulthood revolved around being the variety of person who could get around exposed saloon doors with authority to find a warm hello and a fresh pint .   I daydream of being a even .

And now , after 10 of moving myself around the state , plagued by a subconscious need to restate the traumas of my youth ( again , therapy – you ’re the good ) ,   I ’ve finally reach my puerility finish : I ’ve found that one position in the world where everybody knows my name .

Find a bar that’s just right

The bar should be close by , and prim out for both post - work and tardy - night drinking – a place where you could both pop out in on your way home from the office and stumble home from after one - too - many tequilas . likewise , you ’ll want a position with a good but not crazy - expensive drink selection ( so you wo n’t get bored / go come apart ) , a laid - back ambiance ( so you’re able to loosen up and get to know people ) , and a decently asseverate spirit level of cleanliness ( because you ’ll get real familiar with that lavatory , trust me ) .

Opt for a stool over a table

This one ’s a bit of a no - brainer , but nobody remembers the unruffled beau in the back . Do n’t be afraid to park it at the bar even if you ’re too shy to make conversation at first . After a few weeks , the staff ca n’t avail but remember you because at the end of the day , face sentence is what really matters .

Establish a routine

Bars can be busy , treacherous place . Turnover is often eminent , frequenter do and go , and chemise deepen on a whim . When I set off frequenting my regular smear , I made a habit of come in on Sunday afternoons arm with theNew York Timescrossword and a thirst for stale seance IPAs . Before long , the Sunday stave and I were thick as thieves and they in turn of events introduced me to the other mixologist , expanding my range and further give my regular position . Plus , if you ’re the sort of mortal who aspires to be the human reading of a neon beer sign , you ’re belike no alien to the joyfulness of a honorable modus operandi .

Over-tip

You ’d be surprise how many aspiring regulars consistently undertip , only to later marvel at their increasingly poor service or lack of buybacks . If you love a lieu and require it to love you back , you have to bolster that bill a little . An extra Pearl Buck or two for every drink goes a farseeing way , especially in the beginning . And keep in mind , once you start have those coveted free potable / shots / fries / whatever , you ’ll still involve to go forth the guys behind the taps a decent chunk of variety to defend your beachhead .

Stay in your lane

When it comes to being a regular , piddling matter more than unspoilt manner . Sure you might have an insider ’s understanding of bar political science , but that does n’t have in mind you should talk slap about the new barback ’s washup insufficiencies . And while you may be love a special resonance with your favorite Friday dark barman , do n’t assume that your burgeoning friendship come up along with the ability to cut lines or hang around after hours . Remember , being a regular is a privilege , not a rightfield .

Keep drinking

If you ’re sit at a bar and chilling on H2O all dark , you ’re fundamentally just prohibiting paying ( and tipping ) client from blowing their hard - earned cash on a bevy of adult drinkable . No need to be a lush ( really , essay not to be a lush ) , but keep the hard drink flowing at a reasonable rate throughout the continuance of your hang time and your bartender will stay on in skillful spirits .

Don’t be a creep

see , if your only motivating to become a unconstipated is to pick up that precious cocktail waitress , slow your roll . You never , ever need to be the scarey guy sitting at the turning point of the bar , winking and pushing singles across the table in a misguided endeavor at coquetry . It ’s better for everyone if you keep thing platonic . Besides , if you do end up taking that waitress out and it does n’t go well , you ’re out of both a date and a bar . That ’s a lose - lose , pal .

And don’t bring first dates!

In a standardized vein , bringing a first day of the month to your regular bar is a huge mistake . It might sound like an idealistic position at first – you ’ll feel like the heavy person on campus , you may show off a hot Tinder date , you probably just require to drink for free – but bringing an unfamiliar person to your even joint fare with a luck of responsibility . What if they bonk the seat and start testify up all the metre , regardless of whether you keep dating them ? What if you like them but they all hate your bar ? Your unconstipated spot should be a extra refuge from the harshness of the outdoor domain , and a place that ’s just for you . Keep it that way .

Stay on your side of the bar

There ’s nothing that pisses off a bartender more than a trespassing customer . I do n’t manage if you ’re taste to shake a hand , clean up a spill , or catch a shiner , violating that consecrated line between server and served will definitely get ahead you a permanent spot on any bar ’s shit leaning . If help is needed back there , you ’ll be require .

Assume nothing

Entitlement is perhaps the regretful lineament in a human being , and that counts dual for anyone endeavor to achieve regular status . Acting like you merit perk like supernumerary shots , buyback , or medicine and TV postulation is a heavy negative stimulation , so remember to be polite and gracious at every routine . The same go for assuming your barkeeper - client family relationship draw out beyond the confines of the bar . Always take cues from the stave – if they require to hang out off transformation , sleep assured they ’ll make it have it away . Until then , cozy up to that barstool , mind your P ’s and Q ’s , and keep happily nursing that beer .

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bar regulars homer simpson quagmire clavin ruxin

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bar stool

Flickr/Rachel Chapdelaine

cash tips bar

Dan Gentile/Thrillist

drunk monkey bar

Flickr/Steven Guzzardi

bartender mixed drink

Anthony Humphreys/Thrillist