The label clearly states , inbold closure letter , " The name ' Tonic Wine ' does not imply wellness gift or medicative attribute , " but I ’m not grease one’s palms it . After imbibe a few glasses of Buckfast Tonic Wine , I never felt more medicated in my entire life . For the record , Buckfast is a substantial 15 % ABV , and put down - for - drop contains approximately as much caffeine as Red Bull .
spirt by the hands of 19th - hundred Benedictines , this fortified vino has a report more volatile than Charlie Sheen riding Mike Tyson raw through a minefield . It ’s been call the Scottish Four Loko . bring up to as the " wildest wine in the world . " And with a presuppose laborious liaison toviolent crime , it ’s the terror of the drunkenness class in the UK andpoliticiansalike . It ’s themost polarizing thingto come from Thelonious Sphere Monk since thebowl stinger .
But here in the States , it ’s relatively unidentified . I aim to deepen that . With the aid of a Scottish co - worker , I got my hand on a couple bottles of Buckfast and subjected my body to its wonders . It did not disappoint .
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
What it tastes like
The aroma spilling out of the palpebra of my nursing bottle was pleasant enough – like a fistful of Fruity Pebbles , crushed in a vat of Benadryl . I was intrigued . I poured it into my goblet ( which , in this lawsuit , happened to be a " Drake ’s Tears " mug ) and perish to sipping . It was buddy-buddy , unbearably mellifluous , and undeniably syrupy . It was n’t sweet in the sugary Four Loko way , though . It was sweet in the NyQuil - spike - with - Stevia way . For the sake of science and you , dear reader , I swallowed my superbia and chased it with a few more gulping of Buckfast , until I clean the mug .
Like any other alcoholic crapulence , the more I swill the easier it became to swill more . And as I refilled several times , my taste bud acclimated to the tangy taste , and the thick texture became less perturbing . It ’s not something I ’d require to swish around my oral cavity like an amateurish Giamatti , absorbing the alone flavor profiles . This is not wine-coloured , in the Napa - source - grape - with - artisanal - bobber - and - overtones - of - oak sensation , but it was supportable . After three or four mug ' worth , I actually start to like it . Kind of .
How it made me feel
I ’ve never drank pure , unfiltered rocket fuel , but I have to assume this is a penny-pinching parallel . I have to say , I have n’t had an experience like this from a beverage since they sucked the caffeine out of my beloved Four Lokos my older year of college .
As the regular buzz take my head , the caffein swelled from my belly and up to my warmheartedness – in that moment I experience like the personification of a Mötley Crüe song . I spent the rest of the nighttime singing karaoke and playing breeze hockey ( what … I really did ! ) and to be frank , I ’m not trusted if I could have made it to 4 am without the four spectacles of Buckfast I had prior . I was mentally astute , physically rejuvenated ! Or , at least that ’s what I call back . It was a unanimous Friday . The next aurora was something I do n’t want to tattle about .
I would n’t recommend drinking this in the morning , or before a big display , but … really , yes , I would . Just do n’t exaggerate it . Or you ’ll end up like many - a - Scots lad before you : face - first in something you have no line being face - first in .
Like shrubbery , for instance . Do n’t ask me how I know . Also , do n’t expect me what go on to my neighbour ’s shrub . Sign up herefor our daily Thrillist e-mail , and get your fix of the best in food / drinking / fun .
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
