As a Mercedes - Benz Fashion Week reporter , my closet is literally explode with clothing , shoes , and add-on . I get mellow off J. Crew sales instead of drug . Choosing an outfit of the 24-hour interval is my “ me time ” – my way of share myself with the macrocosm . I take this clobber seriously .
So , what would happen if I let a someone who takes NOTHING in life seriously – a bro , to be specific – dig through my wardrobe and dress me for an entire calendar week ?
enroll Zach : an cheerful , ego - proclaim bro who knows nothing of my way sense ( we ’ve gather once ) . Zach is a 24 - year - old Indiana native and fraternity dropout who incite to NYC to work in PR ; outdoors of the office , he still savour dabbling in bro - tastic pastimes like ordering Bud Light by the pitcher and writing “ # blessed ” on Twitter in only partial jest."I’ve been trying to win over people that I ’m a bro for the past three twelvemonth of my aliveness , ” he assured me . I had no idea what that have in mind , but I DID know I was about to venture on a very interesting and possibly mortify manner journey .
Courtesy of Brian Sager Photography
Monday client meeting
Zach , who deems Frat - agonia fleeces and baseball game hats his “ uniform , ” was given the task of get together a professionally stylish outfit for my client meeting . I was scared .
He started off solid , pluck out a purple cable - knit sweater dress with a cowl cervix – a routine that I have fall apart to the office before . “ It cover everything up , ” Zach explicate , “ but it ’s fit so you may still trade the sex activity if your customer ’s a beau . ” Ah , of grade !
Despite say he did n’t understand why cleaning lady wear belts around their shank , Zach reached for an antique , glitzy gold knock – not something I ’d EVER pair with preppy line - cockle . To make matters worse , he giddily choose a pair of strappy , candid - toe eminent heels covered in gold glitter that I only bust out for black - tie affair . The entire outfit was the equivalent of ordering a chicken Parm dish with a side of applesauce and a kiwi .
Brian Sager Photography
With my professional report on the course , I admittedly change my shoe before the meeting . I DID , however , wear the rest of the turnout and brought the hound along to get my client ’s feedback . “ Great shoes , ” he aver . “ But maybe more for a wedding , no?”Bro ’s fashion grade : B-
Tuesday gym session
physical exertion dress came next . Zach went directly for a brace of fluorescent “ full - sies , ” which in bro terms think full - length , peel - tight leggings . “ If you do n’t have a distich that says ‘ Juicy ’ on the ass , you well wear something that arrive at it look that direction , ” Zach explained , dead serious . The shirt of option ? A cutoff tank that ’s my fellow ’s and five size too big for me … but by nature features a live little girl and an American signal flag . The final rig was something one might tire out to a rave , but Zach was proud : “ My future wife will own this outfit . ” ( Patriotic Barbie ravers , inquire within ! )
When sporting my designated workout dress , nothing out of the ordinary occurred . A guy remark , “ Great pants ! ” at the gym , but that happens every time I wear them . I think the coordinating headband pull out the rig together enough as to not turn heads in a minus room . I ’ve frankly seen weird get - ups come out of SoulCycle . Bro ’s fashion grade : B+
Wednesday errands
The bro described his sight for a perfect corps de ballet to wear on lunchtime errands : casual , put - together , and mostly comfortable . “ You never know who you ’ll meet at the grocery store , " Zach said , " so you still involve to look good . "
He chose a Ralph Lauren button - down , ripped jean , a backwards baseball hat ( we matched ) … and a brace of cowgirl kick with FOUR - INCH cad . Literally the most uncomfortable shoe I own – fashionable , but not ideal for running around Manhattan doing returns and grease one’s palms paper towel . But Zach ’s sympathy was nil : “ chocolate-brown cad and jeans look GOOD . Oh also , this outfit need a burnished necklace . ”
Looking like Annie Oakley vacationing on Nantucket , I set out to Bloomingdale ’s , Duane Reade , Whole Foods , and Michael ’s craft fund ( do n’t ask ) . Now , I ’m a in high spirits - dog veteran , but by the prison term I induce only midway through the garden truck incision at my local organic grocer , my feet were friggin ’ kill me . I long for a pair of UGGS , which even Zach knows are a manner abortion . I terminate up hitch home without arrest for scrapbooking supplies .
Brian Sager Photography
But I must take , the bro actually extend my fashion sensible horizon with this outfit . A glitzy command necklace over a preppy Marco Polo ? It was a fresh mash - up that I ’d never examine before . I also never tire baseball hats ( let alone break them back ) but you sleep with what ? I was into it ! Despite the visionary pick of footwear ( so much for “ mostly comfortable ” ) , this look was a profits . Bro ’s style grade : A-
Thursday date night
Zach foresaw trouble in take my Thursday night particular date ensemble : “ You have to clothe to impress with the potential of staying out all night because it ’s Thursday . But also , it ’s only Thursday . ” Frankly , my boyfriend would n’t worry if I exhibit up to date nighttime in jeans ; also , I have n’t stayed out past 11:59pm on a weekday since 2008 .
To lead off , Zach selected reddened high heels , insisting they ’re a must to ensure my date pays . Next , he pull out a mystery clause of clothing . “ Is this a shirt ? ” he asked .
“ Nope , that ’s a little black dress . ”
Brian Sager Photography
“ This is why I do n’t want daughters , ” he explained . “ But YOU should definitely wear it on your date because it ’s revealing . ”
Interestingly enough , Zach claimed to get it on nothing about accessorizing . But he actually crush it ! The gold earring he cull out were the ACTUAL yoke I ’ve fag out with that clothes . The bag matched perfectly too , but he had other reasons for select it : “ It ’s big enough so the guy wo n’t have to hold your dirt at the final stage of the night . ” This was my favorite Zach - choose outfit thus far . Truthfully , it said more “ cocktail party ” than “ date dark , ” but hey , it ’s undecomposed to be prink than underdressed . Decked to the nines , I receive up with my fellow for dinner party ; his reaction to my get - up was one of wonderment and slight confusion : “ Wow , you look fancy ! You have a go at it we ’re just going out for sushi , correct ? ” Yeah , but I looked freakin ’ red-hot . Well done , bro!Bro ’s fashion course : A-
Friday happy hour
I ’ve always been a purveyor of the casual - but - fashionable Friday . Thus , I was extra baffled by Zach ’s choice for a 6 autopsy happy minute ensemble : a body - hugging maroon - and - mesh cocktail wearing apparel , bright - blue dog , and pearls .
My outfit was the fabric adaptation of the Iowa primaries – a pile of clash idea . Blue and maroon ? Pearls and mesh ? Skintight and 6 pm ? I obtusely understood where he was occur from because all the musical composition said “ dressy ” in their own path . But if the fashion police force stopped me en road to the bar and thump me down with batons , I adjudicate I ’d succumb . It would be deserve .
Happy hr drinks take place at my pet neighborhood bar . There ’s always something happening in NYC , so my friend said she just assumed I had a party to point to after ; presumptively , other patrons thought the same . I gave her a beneficial laugh by explicate the experimentation , then ordered vino until I forget about my abomination of a color jazz band . Bro ’s mode grade :D
Brian Sager Photography
Saturday birthday party
“ Is this shirt totally see - through ? ” Zach asked .
Indeed it was . So obviously , the bro deemed it unadulterated for my friend ’s birthday party in the city . And to go with it : a smutty leather mini wench and knee - high “ seek - to - get - it - in boot , ” as Zach eloquently nickname them .
The outfit wasn’tthatbad , per se ? It was something I would have worn on a Saturday Nox back in college to a drab bar ; you acknowledge , one filled with man - made fog , two - for - one vodka cranberries , bad decision … and bros . But now , as a ( mostly ) ripe woman , I aim to foreground only ONE aphrodisiac body part at a fourth dimension . charge that say “ look at my leg ” are to be pair with a buttoned-down shirt ; a see - through top that demand “ take care at my chest ” run best with jeans .
Brian Sager Photography
But bros are easy excitable creatures . And they want it all at once . So this semi - slutty Cat Woman - esque kit did not storm me .
I arrived at the party in a crowd East Village prevention feel a tad juvenile with my ( lack of ) clothing pleading despair . My friends give me positive feedback on my boots and leg , but if they were staring , I ’m sure the esurient dudes next to us were , too . Let ’s just say , if I had been on the prowl , I in all probability would have succeeded . Bro ’s mode degree : C
Sunday brunch
I hanker to nurse the aftermath of the previous eventide ’s wine-coloured exuberance in bed with a sweatshirt . But Zach had bigger plans for me . In distinctive bro form , Zach make brunch very badly . “ On Sundays , versatility is key , ” he explained . “ You never know how fancy of a brunch property you ’ll terminate up at , so you need to put yourself together . ” Ugh , FINE .
Mimosa - sipping call option for “ dressy - meets - everyday , " so Zach picked out jeans and suede outskirt ankle booties . So far so good ! But then he ardently paired that with a fantasy , frilly silk top . “ This is SO brunch ! ” Zach exclaimed . “ The front of it reminds me of a ocean windflower . It ’s so festive ! ” Festive , yes – hence why I ’ve outwear it on Christmas , but never out for an 11 am hangover omelet . Also , unless I lost my eyesight in a freak accident , I ’d NEVER pair such a lavish top with boho - chic ankle boots .
But alas , I signed myself up for this . With sunglasses on as a shell , I meet my babe for brunch , who for the criminal record , was donning leggings and UGGs . Sister are for beastly honesty , so I was not surprised to be greeted with morsel : “ Your outfit fox me , ” she said . “ The top one-half of you want to go to a holiday party and the bottom half want to go to a hipster taproom . Are you already drunk?”Bro ’s way grade : D+
Brian Sager Photography
Conclusion
Bros play by their own rules . And when choosing my outfits , Zach made some typical bro decisions . But from a manner standpoint overall , he did a good business than I initially gave him credit for . Plus , we learned from each other : coruscation does n’t belong to in the office and I need more baseball lid .
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Brooke Sageris a kick in writer for Thrillist who nearly froze to death during the photoshoot because the bro said it was “ too stressful ” to pick out scarves and coating . She was able to skirt hypothermia , though , so give her a follow onInstagramand Twitter:@HIHEELZbrooke .
Brian Sager Photography
Brian Sager Photography
Brian Sager Photography
