About a twelvemonth and a one-half ago , I finish a five - year family relationship with a man who , despite call himself a women’s liberationist , subtly ( and then overtly ) shamed me about my weight and physical structure hair .
After long time of him asking me to wax my ladyparts , I in conclusion did it as a limited one - time thing in an attempt to save our failing relationship . Then he resolve Ihadto wax , all the time .
One sidereal day I posted an clause about how more young women ( i.e. , Miley Cyrus ) were sporting haired armpits , and jokingly said to him , " Hey , I think I should stop shaving my armpits too . " He got tempestuous and tell me it was a deal breaker for our relationship . I quit shaving everything that daytime , and quit place up with his bullshit for good a few workweek later .
Daniel Fishel/Thrillist
It has been empowering to reject the body hair position quo by rock my gilded pit pilus in tank tops every chance I get . And in the context of my breakup , I felt like I was reclaim my body and celebrating it in all its resplendence . Since then , I ’ve dated several men , and a woman or two , and I have to say , the longer I go with my hirsute armpits , the more I think it was the best conclusion I ever made for my personal life .
Here are a few of the things I ’ve teach in a class of date without shaving .
Not shaving weeds out the dude-bros
Particularlythe ones whose ideas about women are too stuck in the Stone Age to love a cleaning lady ’s consistency if it does n’t conform to their nonesuch . I mean , the second I open my mouth , most man like that run for the mound – but you may state a lot about someone who is play with you by their response to something that ’s socially unconventional .
I like to imagine that this filter system also weed out those men who are bad at sex , as I acquire sexist men are generally not the mostgivingin that department … but I may need to extend my studies to be sure of this conclusion .
Most people don’t care, because sexy is sexy
Look , y' all . This last year , I ’ve been with the most conventionally attractive roster of sexual / quixotic partner of any period in my life , and approximate what ? Not a individual DAMN ONE care about my deficiency of shaving . Only one hombre even said anything , and he ended up being a dud anyway . The fact is , a sexy individual does n’t hold on being sexy because they have visible body hair .
I feel more confident about my body than I’ve ever been
As a body - positive , queer feminist , I hate to take on that I ’ve done quite a few things to my eubstance for human beings . Like so many women my age , I ’ve shaved , waxed , pluck , dieted , juice clean ( never again ) , and Spanx’ed myself on a somewhat unconstipated basis . Growing up with a female parent who forever dieted and criticized my appearance on a daily base , I was lay up utterly for a life-time of hat my dead body .
For too long I felt like no matter whom I dated , I ought to be doing everything I could to be conventionally attractive to heterosexual man . While I true have n’t place asideallof those feelings , I do feel at home in my hairy , curvey trunk for the first time in my life . It ’s a pretty cracking feeling , by the way .
This debate isn’t going away anytime soon, but we really need to keep having it
A few days ago I posted a telecasting on social media about women who give up shave their leg and/or underarms . The tip of the clip was to say that shaving and other consistence hair grooming is a personal choice , and everyone should feel free to do ( or not do ) whatever they need with their body .
for sure enough , it did n’t take long for some dude - bro to propose his unsolicited opinion that " It ’s just not OK " for women to not shave . Well , thanks , dude - bro ; I had no idea everyone ’s body hair was your worry . reaction like his land up issues of feminism , bodily autonomy , and cultural beauty standards that privilege women who are thin , white , and hairless – standards that ache all women , and make us feel like failures when we ca n’t hit them .
No matter your preferences when it comes to your own body tomentum , the important affair is to remember that they are yours alone . And straight / bi ladies , just take my advice when I say you that if a guy cable thinks your body fuzz is consummate or tries to make you alter it , that might be a big , haired red flag that he ’s not worth your sentence .
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