From Mike Myers doing " cog " onSNLtothat one sceneinSuper Troopers , American pop culture depicts German subculture as anywhere from kinky and acute to borderline dire . But when you move to Berlin , you take heed nada about how to get around the city ’s underbelly of public sex , and various twist - ons and orientations … all sic to a techno soundtrack . No , everyone is more interested with tell you where to get thegood currywurstand that JFK was n’t reallygoing on about donut .
So when I recently arrived at a German sex guild ( in Downtown Berlin , naturally ) , I had to figure thing out for myself . It was n’t long before I gave myself over to the laser beams , crowds of glistening unknown in leather and lacing , and thumping , heavy household medicine . I ’m not anything close to a swinger or fetishist ( though I have a skid collection that pray to differ ) ; but I teach enough to share with you eight gratuity for surviving a sex club of your own .
1. Dress (in)appropriately
Berlin nightclubs are infamous for rigorous door policies , and this famous sex club was no exclusion . To get in , there are two option : dress up or dress down . And do n’t take a half - assed approach to either .
That ’s how I ended up with my whole ass hanging out of a see - through lace number ( a first for outside my sleeping room ) . At the door , the bouncer told me to ditch either my lingerie bodysuit or jeans . So , for the sake of serious journalism , I take off my bloomers ( sorry , mom and dad ! )
Even now , I ’m not totally sure what the " dress code " formally is . The website calls for latex , leather , costumes , uniform , and glam evening wear . Maybe the denim was too chance ? But I did see a few women in normal round top and pants . My beau also drive in wearing blue jean and a shirt .
Jason Hoffman/Thrillist
Basically , the sex baseball club version of Darwin ’s innate selection can be confusing . My best advice ? If you ’re not comfortable getting down to your skivvies in front of strangers , come up with an elaborated costume ( see Rule # 2 ) . And if you are cool with survive au naturel , well , pelage check is liberal .
2. Let go of your inhibitions
Remember the classical public - talk advice , in which you just envisage everyone around you is bare ? Well this is kind of like that , except that everyone really is defenseless .
I felt self - conscious in the beginning , like I was cohere in one of those bad dreaming where you forget to wear pants to schooling . But then , you realize nobody else is wearing pants . And after a few shots of Jägermeister and a constant procession of all kind of wonky fleck , you start to feel pretty at ease .
There I was , just one of many semi - naked females in a sea of cave dweller , schoolgirls , medico , and scintillating fairies . I countenance go of every forbiddance , and dance between a woman in a monkey onesie and a 6ft - tall exotic superhero with jewel beautify her vagina .
Flickr/Fabrizio Sciami
It was the ultimate definition of fancy and freedom . And , countenance ’s be dependable : the good costume political party I ’ve been to since Halloween in 7th grade .
3. The bathroom is a safe haven
If you ever demand somewhere to just take a break from all that bizarreness and sonorous petting , the privy shall be your savior . Unlike normal clubs there is no sex here , since there are way good places to do that fundamentally everywhere else . There are even prickle on the bathroom doors with a group of dit and a tap - through ( I ’m guess that stand for no orgies ? )
By the way , this was one of the clean toilet I ’ve ever go through in a Berlin nightclub . earnestly , it was amazing .
4. Take in the scenery
There will be plenty of surprises throughout the evening . Do n’t stick around in one place – roam around and see it all .
I ran into all variety of delicious , unsavoury part by walk around , like an Amazonian in red latex who handcuffed a man to a cage . She made a huge deal out of slowly , fastidiously attaching various whips to her leather bang before smacking him in time to the bassline .
I ’ve been to sex shows before , but this was something else – not just a stage performance , but the real peck .
Flickr/Bart van Poll
5. Get involved
You ’re in a sexual activity club . So why do n’t you go and have gender somewhere!?In this situation , there ’s no such thing as being an eager beaver ( sorry , just had to ) . There are plenty of dark corner and couch , but all the prime real estate does tend to get staked out fast .
And seriously , bring your beau or girlfriend to the sexual urge club . There were plenty of couples , from 20 - somethings to mass in their mid-40s , being totally in love ( OK , lust ) , roving around with eyes only for each other . You could see that the setting was putting a threatening dose of spiciness into the relationship .
possibly this is creepy-crawly , but that was actually kind of poignant .
6. But not getting involved is cool, too
Herein lie in the beauty of Berlin : this is a urban center renowned for citizenry doing whatever they want , without being estimate . If you do n’t experience easy hold sexuality in public , it ’s no biggie . Hit the dance floor , fall out by the pool , and – at the risk of go like your female parent during a " birds - and - bee " talk – do what feels right .
7. It’s OK to be a peeping Tom
A little ogling at couples ( or groups ! ) is wholly ok . In fact , it can help getting the locomotive engine get going for Rule # 5 .
But whatever you do , do n’t make a big Broadway output of it . Do n’t be like that yoke that sit down right next to me ( when there were deal of other spots around , might I add ) who started grunt , holler , whisker - flipping , and nudging me in the side throughout their ride toward flood tide .
It only endure five minutes . But hey , nobody likes a showoff .
8. Be respectful
This evening spent aboard copulating duo , furry sympathizers , and masked avengers was one of my best clubbing experience ever . That ’s because mostly everyone seemed to mind their own dangle phosphorus ’s and Q ’s . That deficiency of judgment , mixed with carefree hysteria , has made me depend back on my dark at a sexual activity club fondly .
Well , that … and my boyfriend and I did have a destiny of fun .
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