All thoseCraigslist missed connection , blogs , and bona - fidestudies showing general favoritismtoward the food market chain ca n’t be wrong . Walmart is THE berth to be : to shop , to attend out , and … to seduce ?
Yup . Walmart is grade as the most popular position to chance sexual love in 15 states . True chronicle . Take LeAnne Shepard for example . She fell in love with her married man Curt at the Decatur , Texas , Walmart locating … where she just so bump to work as an all-night stocker . Things capture flirty one night as he loaded bags of wienerwurst food onto shelf and she put out a bleach show an aisle over . They got hitched within the year and are still together almost 12 years afterwards . OK , I know . A love connection can happen anywhere , but still ! It warms my heart that this match flower after hour over discount dry goods . remind all the feels . Los Angelino Donald Adkins is a Walmart regular , and for pickaxe - ups , swears by the lunchtime crowd . " lunch period is the best , " he says , " because that ’s when all the line professionals are out . If you want something from Walmart , that ’s when you go , during your dejeuner meter . " He does n’t urge hanging out in sections of the store where males tend to shop , like tools or motorcar parts . Duh . Out of the 50 times he ’s seek to mark , he ’s been successful … three . Those betting odds are as dismal as the batten norm of the San Diego Padres – but you ’ve cause to give the guy props for try . So , in the name of investigative ( hem ) journalism , I adjudicate to see what kind of attention I could excite up at my local Walmart .
Go big or go home
Until this experimentation , I ’m proud to say I ’d only been to the mega - retailer exactly three times – two of which bump during a route trip through Canada , because it was the only place sprout low-priced cheese . ( Damn the Canadian dairy farm cartel . I wo n’t even gloss on Milk River , butter , or meth cream prices . )
I ’m the form of gal who confirm small commercial enterprise , hates McDonald ’s , and refuses to bribe toilet report in bulk . vainglorious - box retailers like Costco and IKEA have been sleep together to induce full - blow panic attacks . Still , I care to save money , so I semi - understand the charm .
Prior to my big Walmart adventure , I spent way too much time intend about what to fall apart . Sure , I could ’ve gone with something safe , like slider and pyjama butt ( literal outfits seen on all my Walmart visits ) . Instead , I decided to wear something suggestive , but not too so . I think of add up on – I was frequent on a Friday afternoon . And even though it was the week before Valentine ’s Day , I really did n’t cogitate fashion overkill would be necessary . There had to be some bereft buster tell on for lightbulbs in need of a date . I paired a scoop - neck top and a not - too - tight mini with just a hint of red thong . Frye ankle joint thrill seemed like sensible footwear . In case my intention were undecipherable , I wore a swipe of redlip gloss . countenance me tell you : I looked pretty fucking red-hot . This was no trip-up to the dog park .
Jason Hoffman/Thrillist
A shopping cart and a dream
I arrived at the Walmart Supercenter in Renton , Washington with a positivist genial attitude and a omission in my step . weave the aisles , I made certain to proffer direct eye contact – and my best million - watt smile – to anything with a peter . As I moved from garden truck to an endcap of $ 1 Pringles , I wondered if love really could be found at Walmart . Would I meet the Ryan Reynolds of my dreams who ’d invite me out to the parking bunch for a romp in his RV ? A cleaning lady could only hope . ( Walmart considers RV traveler among its good client ; many locations provide loose nightlong parking . Lots of extemporary booty - call opportunities right there.)Thirty minutes in , my most hopeful prospect was a much aged bozo who looked like he belonged on an episode ofDateline . His colored , creepy-crawly eyes held mine a moment too long and I quickly scurried away . I ’m a woman with boundaries and draw the line at getting chop up into fleck and stuff in the trunk of a Buick . Thanks , mmm , no thanks . Seriously . I did n’t think it would be so knockout to draw manlike attention . Damn you , Walmart and all your earnest money - saving shoppers ! Eyes on the price shred , not on pussy . Desperate multiplication call for despairing standard , so I decide to telegraph my desire with a few exclusive distaff stereotypes . ( In real animation , I do n’t buy into any of this shit , but this was an experimentation , so I was n’t afraid to get down and sordid . ) I overindulge a cat - scratching station into my handcart , conform to by nursing bottle of Skinnygirl wine-coloured , pints of Ben & Jerry ’s , and every Hugh Grant movie I could get my hands on . Lube and condoms seemed too onward ; ditto for lingerie . If my go-cart did n’t holler , " I ’m unmarried and fuckable , " I was all out of ideas .
Hot on the prowl
Missed connections
In the end , I did n’t find love , like , or lust at Walmart . Hell , there was n’t a undivided person I ’d deal share a can of Pringles with , much less spit . peradventure I was too convinced , extroverted , or stood too grandiloquent . All I know is that I impart Walmart feel like a loser for a red-hot second , until a passably attractive guy wheeling his shopping cart hold back to say , " Looking good . Looking good . " Aww , yeah . Positive virile statement . My 24-hour interval was consummate . At least there was a hint of Leslie Townes Hope .
I kid . I may not have make digits or a date , but I left with my dignity integral . Besides , this was never really about true love , but more about testing a hypothesis . So is Walmart really the best place to score a date ? I guess it calculate upon what you ’re take care for . And most definitely not in Washington State . There are far crazier , more fun places to foregather a future ex-wife .
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Flickr/Mike Mozart
Flickr/Frankie Leon
Flickr/Walmart
