I Live in Toronto , aka " The 6ix , " as baptized , of track , by Drake . And Drake – or Sir Aubrey Graham , if you ’re conversant with the homo behind the medicine – is , without a doubt , top executive of this Canadian city .
As a red-hot - blooded , heterosexual charwoman , I ’ve obviously spend one nighttime or several imagining what it would be like to wander the Toronto streets with Drake by my side . Can you blame me ? You ca n’t read a tabloid rag without also perusing some new story about Drake ’s dating feat . My fantasy started out innocently enough – a raw extension of what people are already talk about . Then I took thing a footstep further .
This story does n’t terminate with me actually date Drake ( I ’m no RiRi ) . But it comes pretty close , because Ididmanage , with the help of a casting agent admirer and social media , to track down a#Champalepapiwho could pass for mister#Champagnepapihimself . Yup : I found a Drake look - alike .
Justin McConnell/Unstable Ground
In true Drake fashion , my#drakelookalikecandance , tap … and even LIVES IN TORONTO . Also , he ’s a method actor , so this would be arrant practice session for him . And for me , whose most recent " day of the month " included getting stalked on a beach in Jamaica by a hombre cite Chicken , this would be a merriment difference . To get quick for my Francis Drake - theme date , I sit down to study all of Drake ’s video ; then dressed up like the woman represent therein .
I thought we could go toDrake ’s restaurantFring ’s , but that establish to be waaay outside our budget . We may see like pelvic girdle - record hop superstars , but our pocketbook state otherwise . So we went down the street to a regular Drake haunt calledSPiN , where fake Drake could put material Drake’sping - pong enthusiasmto good use .
7pm: SPiN Toronto
My date , who ab initio acted self - witting , immediately got his Drake swag on when we get in the doorway at SPiN. Is it weird that I was beaming with pride ? Fake or not , I felt like I was on a particular date with the veridical great deal . He had the undeniable magical spell of Drake , the thoughtfulness of Drake … and the moves like Jagger . jolly ! He move like Drake … or better .
But we did learn one very important detail while at SPiN : phoney Drake and I completely suck at ping - pong . This was very “ unDrake ” of us .
Despite my sharp direction and essay to get anywhere near the orchis , I could n’t help but notice a group of cat eyeing my my fake date and me up and down . “ Drake ai n’t shit , ” a couple of them rumbled as they circled us . That ’s right … these human race thought I was with Mr. OVO himself ! I was so elated , I was even able to ignore the one guy in the mathematical group who added , “ Drake ’s daughter got big titties , though ! ”
Justin McConnell/Unstable Ground
Eh .
The Ping River - pong game had wrick exhausting , so we decided to take five .
While we sat and sing , guy cable walk by and openly star at me – a diaphanous attempt to get a raise from my date . After a few minutes ' rest , we were ready to get back to our game only to discover that our haters had assume over our mesa . These bozo were itching to be able to lie the title to fame that they fought Drake in front of his girl . Despite receive tons of fun and being deal like royalty by the SPiN staff , we decided to move on to the 2d part of our evening .
Justin McConnell/Unstable Ground
I envisage Drake would take his futureSerenawine - relishing at some fancy vineyard so he could wow her with his sommelier - type knowledge and woo her with beautiful scenery . So , naturally , we hit up a Wine Rack for a taste I ’d set up sooner that calendar week .
8:15pm: Wine Rack
Despite having thrice confirmed our plans to visit the store , fake Drake and I got the boot within minutes of our arrival . That hostility we started to feel from earlier seemed to have expect over into the 2nd part of our evening . Drake may have thekey to the urban center , but clearly does not have the key to the hearts of all its occupier .
8:30pm: MY APARTMENT!
The lack of wine-coloured left a dark taste leave in our mouths , so phony Drake and I headed back to my micro flat for a Champagnepapi pledge . Ironically , the sparkling wine was buy at the Wine Rack that morning .
Similar to Wine Rack itself , the bottle was difficult to get into and left us struggling and frustrated . The whole experience had been an interesting utilization in dating on a dime , dating in the 6ix , tabletop sports , cheap wine , and dick - swinge machismo . in conclusion , the nursing bottle top popped . Fake Drake and I leaned in , took a sip , and smiled . It was delicious .
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Justin McConnell/Unstable Ground
Justin McConnell/Unstable Ground
