Welcome to In Bed with Gigi Engle , a weekly column in which sexual activity and relationships author Gigi Engle answer your most informal questions . Nothing is off - limits ! From threesomes to anal , unrequited dearest to cheating : we want to try it all . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Dear Auntie thousand ,
I ’ve been with my fiancée for the last five years . I ’m really disquieted she ’s cuckold on me and I do n’t know what to do . She ’s in advertising and has a friendly relationship with a co - proletarian who is married with kids . A while back , she and Ian went down to Atlanta to encounter with a new guest for their authority .
Jason Hoffman/Thrillist
While I was reading my paper the next morning on her iPad I was surprise by a text from the co - worker . Only the first two sentences show up in the trailer blind at the top , and I am capable to see that it start out with " Last night will never happen again . Do n’t tell . "
I asked her about it , and she say that they had been drinking . He tried to crawl into bed with her , she kick him out , and that nothing happened . Later that week , I was on her iPad to look for an email . I afford the email app to find an e-mail between them from last fall , with her pronounce they can still be friends if it remain platonic .
I have not confronted her about the information I get hold . She is the love of my lifetime and I am just afraid I have been made a soft touch of .
good , N _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
N !
allow ’s talk about this . I have a strong impression that you write to me because of one master thing : you require me to substantiate or deny , as an external source , if I think your fiancée is cheating on you .
I ’ve read your report exhaustively , several time , and believe your fiancée is not physically chisel on you ( beyond whatever happened in that hotel way ) ; but she is distinctly having passably of an emotional affair . This is a totally inappropriate employment coquetry that has the potency to get out of hand . I ca n’t sound a charwoman pack on an thing with a married father while pitch up to recite vows dictating she ’ll honor you for all time . And yet …
I think your lady is probable at the office hustling and bustling all day – and while she ’s at employment , she enjoys the misdirection of male attention . What I find peculiarly troublesome is how she has put herself in a position to get off on the desire and validations of a valet who is not her fiancée . I know if my military man was doing this diddly-shit with someone at study I would FLIP out . That said , I predict this is as far as it goes for her . I do not think she wants to allow for you for this guy , and I do not believe she ’s seeking out some ongoing series of assignation .
I think she ’s bask the coquetry , but that she really loves you . You ’re an reliable , unchanging , lovely guy and I ’m certain she would n’t f*ck that up by love around . I know I do n’t beware when someone other than my young man shows pastime me . It ’s playfulness to feel wanted . Acting on it would be an wholly different ballgame . You do n’t betray on someone you love and want to hook up with .
On the other side of thing , I have serious concerns about a matrimonial man with children mouse on a char who ’s engaged . Whatever the circumstances , there is no excuse for him going into your fiancée ’s hotel room and endeavor to get in her bed . If the account happened as she name , I ca n’t believe she did n’t go to HR to get this guy fired . intimate harassment much ?
Here is what you ’re drop dead to do , N. You are going to TELL HER EVERYTHING . I ’m dead serious . Every email you read , every text edition you visit , every Facebook flirtation you witness , you are going to occur CLEAN . Set up that timeline and rest it out there . assure her how you feel . Be exposed with her . Tell her how incapacitated and pit you are . Ask her what tending she feel you ’re not giving her , that she would seek it from someone else . order her you want to repair whatever is broken .
You DO owe her an apology for sneaking through her personal subject matter . If you sense like you need to sneak through your S.O. ’s stuff and nonsense , that ’s indicative of a crowing trustfulness issue and warrants ingest a look at the overall stability of the kinship . overt communicating is going to be your only gateway to healing . Apologize for snooping and enter out what the two of you need to do to be able to fully swear each other .
Another part of the reparation involves your fiancée having a serious talk with her Centennial State - worker . She needs to lay down the law herself , or go to HR and file away a complaint . I know she wo n’t want to – especially because it ’s ungainly , and she may have flirted with this guy over crapulence ( newsflash : toying is not an invitation for someone trying to get into your hotel room and/or layer ) . She may even judge to turn it around on you , piss this an issue about " cartel " and " snoop " – but if nothing was belong on , no text message would have popped up on that iPad . You need to know what is find – and she needs to put an end to this infantile behavior at workplace because it is hurtful and rude … and totally untoward of a woman who is on the threshold of making lifelong vows to a man she have a go at it .
The foundation of your mesh and eventual marriage is cartel . And if you do n’t have that with this char – beginning with not knowing what might be going on behind your back , and ending with you not want to tell her you snooped through her emails and social media – you should not be wed her . You need to openly put across . Even if it turns out you ’re totally amiss , you involve to screw . You ca n’t have doubts when you ’re about to tie someone .
fuck your favorite cyberspace aunty , Gigi xoxoxo
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