Welcome to In Bed with Gigi Engle , a hebdomadal column in which gender and relationship author Gigi Engle answers your most intimate questions . Nothing is off - terminal point ! From threesomes to anal retentive , unrequited dearest to cheating : We want to hear it all .

For questions on relationships , sexual urge , or anything else , email Gigi atAskGigi@thrillist.com .

Hi Gigi ,

In bed with Gigi Engle

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I ’m a guy who ’s waited a few years already for a girl . I ’ve just always feel she was " the one . " We fulfill in high schooltime when I was a senior and she was a freshman , now I ’m 21 in college in the same town and she ’s 18 and a fourth-year in HS .

I do n’t opine I ’m in the Quaker zone because we still have the picayune kinky - flirty things that mass who are romantically interested have . And there is always a existent , undeniable romanticistic tenseness . However , we have never been anything more than friends .

Despite receiving a 110 % acceptance paygrade from her family , she is totally blistering ' n ' cold . At first it was because I came on pretty strong and she ’s said she thinks I should date someone more my age . That was about three years ago and since then my proficiency has greatly improved and become more subtle .

W

I ’m waiting healthily ; I do go on dates and have had kinship with other people in this same sentence , it ’s just that this girl is really my end and that wo n’t change until I finally get her … or until I give up .

I ’m capable of waiting forever , but more realistically , until I calibrate in a few years . I just require a sincere opinion and some advice for better or bad ; am I missing some obvious red flags and am in the friend zone ?

– L

Hey L ,

You say there is real amorous stress and so I need to to the full analyze this site . Like many guys before you , you ’re trapped in the no man ’s country of date .

The friend zone sop up major derriere . If you ’re in the protagonist zona , there is truly no acquiring out of it . I ca n’t accent this to guy enough . It means she is not sexually attracted to you . It ’s not something you’re able to ram your manner into and no amount of doting on her is going to make her change her mind .

Her friendship really should be enough for you if she ’s a nerveless person , butif you desperately need more , you should just move on because the friendship will never be enough for you , and your interest in her is awkward for her . Go find someone whodoesn’t want to just be friends , if that ’s what you want .

The friend zone sop up major ass . If you ’re in the friend zona , there is truly no getting out of it .

Your typeface is layered and complicated . You have to agnize that this is n’t an grownup person you ’re dealing with here . She ’s in eminent school day . When I was 18 , I was a complete idiot . I cogitate I knew everything about everything ( do n’t we all ) , but alas I did not . You wo n’t even recognize the person you are at 25 equate to 22 . And do n’t even get me begin on 30 liken to 25 .

Let ’s take a fiddling trip-up down Auntie G ’s memory lane . My boyfriend and I have a similar years difference of opinion to you and this girl . The thing is though , 25 and 30 is completely , 100 % different from 18 and 21 . It is lightyears forth due date - wise . I make love it sounds arbitrary and " age is just a number , " but the amount of arise up you do in your XX is ASTRONOMICAL .

I met my boyfriend five year ago but we pop date two years ago . When we met , he was 26 and a total fuckboy . He ’s 30 and so much more mature now .

I ’m really happy to hear you ’re dating around because I think it ’s VERY important that you do that . Here is why : This female child is not function to be quick to date you EVEN in a few years when you calibrate . At that point , she ’ll just be start college andisn’t sound to want a boyfriendwho ’s out of college ( or maybe any young man at all ) . She needs to search and learn about herself and you ’ve got to permit her do that .

I acknowledge you want to wait around , but you really should n’t do that . You ’ll go insane . She has n’t say you she need to date you or that she even like you . This may fathom coarse , but this is belike not start to work out .

I bed you need to wait around , but you really should n’t do that . You ’ll go insane .

Big picture : You say she ’s " the one , " but you ’re 21 , and in college . You have absolutely no idea what " the one " is , you experience me ? I think " the one " was some shit I dated at 15 who took my virginity and then slept with one of my friends . Clearly , I was mistaken .

This female child is not into courteous guy cable ( like you ) properly now because that ’s not what a high schooltime girl desire . She wants an asshole because she does n’t have the ego - awareness or ego - esteem to know or desire anything else . She require the jocky dickwad who ’s " hard to get " because it ’s a challenge , and green girls want a challenge .

They do n’t understand the " skillful guy " and the time value of a ace - nice and sweet guy wire until they really reckon at themselves and are like , " Oh , wait . Being treated like shit in reality soak up . I ’m not proceed to stand up for that folderal anymore . " You have to get dumped on a LOT before you exchange your way . Such is the way of the world .

She ’s not there yetand it could be a long , long time before she is .

I do n’t know if this miss care you or not , but it seems like she by all odds is n’t looking to particular date , at least for right now . It sound like she ’s probably confused about her feelings . She ’s 18 , that ’s pretty normal . protagonist geographical zone ? Maybe not . She ’s definitely not interested . Eighteen - yr - previous girlfriend are boy - softheaded and she ’d be all over you if she were down . I would n’t call up of this as " give up , " but more as just accept world , even if it sucks and you bid it were dissimilar .

You ’ve got to go out and play citizenry . Stop pining over a girl in high school . I agree with this young woman that you should be give ear out with girls your own years . Go out and get lay . Learn about yourself for a few year . It really is not going to take place aright now and I do n’t want a cool 21 - year - erstwhile kid waste his prison term on a girl who has pretty understandably suggest that she is n’t having it .

Are you omit a ruby flag ? Yes , the heavy red pin of all : She has n’t been into it and has n’t tell you she desire to date . This means she DOES NOT want to particular date . Plain and round-eyed .

make love your favorite internet auntie , Gigi XOXO

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