" JonBenét [ Ramsey]becameKaty Perry , " saysprofessional truther Dave Johnson , in a TV determined to expose the pop star ’s secret origin . " That ’s a fact . "
OK .
There are intrusive gossip stories , there are loony grocery store conjurations ( " Kim Kardashian Dates Batboy ! " ) , and then there ’s the above jaw - dropping routine of grovel delusion .
Dave Johnson/YouTube
For those in need of context , JonBenét Ramsey , born in 1990 , wasa ' 90s fry beauty pageantry queen infamously bump off at the age of six . The case that was never solved . The media went nuts . Katy Perry , have in 1984 , is a pappa singer who overcame a stall Christian music career to become an international superstar . Her music is cotton wool candy . The globe adores her .
Dave Johnson is obsessed with both of them . Or her ? He conceive Ramsey and Perry are one and the same because … they both whistle ? Wear rafts of make - up ? Have alike contours in their face when you overlay their photograph ? Eh , the evidence is n’t important . We just need to stop lie and allow the truth : America ’s current hitmaker misrepresent her own demise when she was six and masquerade in purple centre shadow . The humankind must have it off .
The title so far - fetched and certain of its own " wretched truths " that its gruesomer logical implication are overcome by the sheer WTF - ness of it all . Johnson , whose YouTube pageboy includes such investigative report as " American US Civil ' warfare ' Hoax NO one died no one smart From war - a Harriet Tubman Joint " and " Actor ' Donald Trump ' is actor ' Joe Biden ' GET out of that WORLD my masses , " posted the video back in 2014 . The net is only just now catch wind of its absurdity , mesmerizedas if it were a NASCAR tidy sum - up detonate in slo - mo .
Dave Johnson/YouTube
When Johnson startle unraveling the deeper meaning of the Ramsey folk ’s " sensation - making plot , " which involves the " Judaic idea of suffocate inwardness , " he achieves ego - parody . The entire accountcouldeasily be a parody of the actual truther - isms , but only because a dissection this outlandish agree right on in along the legit paranoia run amok on YouTube , Facebook , and the web ’s foulest - smell forums .
Let me help oneself anyone now inquire if six - year - quondam JonBenét Ramsey really did reinvent herself as the vocalisation of " Teenage Dream " : no . seek to enjoy life .
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Dave Johnson/YouTube
Dave Johnson/YouTube
