My Boyfriend and I Competed to See Who Could Make the Most Horribly Awkward Sex Playlist

Role dramatic play . Bondage . toy .

These are the typical suggestions when attend for advice on how to spice up things up in the bedchamber . The only problem ? They ’re about as predictable as a fingerbreadth in the butt . So one twenty-four hour period , I consider up the most idiotic idea : What if I tried to get intimate while some of the most unenviable , least - aphrodisiac song ever created run in the ground ?

I told my beau , Steven , about my plan . We came up with an even funnier mind : We’dbothcreate playlist and storm each other with them . It was a contender for who could make the worst one , with me convinced I ’d be capable to get at the darkest recession of mankind ( and the cyberspace ) to add my boyfriend down . Judgment daytime arrived ; and Steven and I stripped down – and giddily shared our playlists with each other .

Awkward Sex Playlist

Jason Hoffman/Thrillist

Playlist one: Dana’s Ditties

“Dance with My Father”

Luther VandrossAwkward ingredient : 6/10Let ’s just say I came in triggerman a - blazing . The fact that I opened with a birdcall almost every woman prefer to trip the light fantastic toe with her dad to at her wedding proves my boyfriend ’s theory that I am a monster who can not be stopped . Also , I know this song is only four and a half minutes , but for some reason it felt like it expire on perpetually . Fun fact : There are 40 bridge in this song and 27 Greek chorus .

“Funkytown”

KIDZ BOP KidsAwkward factor : 8/10Steven ’s immediate chemical reaction : “ Is this … ' Funkytown ? ' ” Twelve seconds later : “ Is this ' Funkytown ' being performed by children ? ” Yes . And … yes .

Winning .

“You’re A Grand Old Flag”

United States Air Force Concert BandAwkward component : 4/10I’ve never felt more American . I also feel like I was a teenager hooking up under the bleachers of a football game . This was a jolly abominable song to hook up to . Steven asked me why I hate freedom .

“I Believe I Can Fly”

William HungAwkward cistron : 10/10Did you almost leave about William Hung fromAmerican Idol ? Me too . And I am so beaming I remembered both his cosmos and the fact that he put out an album of screening in 2004 .

“You’ve Got a Friend in Me”

Randy NewmanAwkward factor : 9/10Randy Newman ’s representative should be see a homeopathic physique of birth ascendency . No one can successfully get freaky while Randy Newman is singing in the background .

You may indeed have a friend in you . Still – do n’t play this song .

Playlist two: Steven’s Serenades

“That’s How I Beat Shaq”

Aaron CarterAwkward factor : 10/10Upon find out this first song of his playlist , my first thoughts were dammit , this dandy did n’t come here to mess around .

I confess this was a vivid opening vocal .

“Achy Breaky Heart”

Billy Ray CyrusAwkward broker : 9/10It should n’t come as a shock to discover that I never desire a Cyrus in my chamber ever again .

“Circle of Life”

The Lion KingsoundtrackAwkward factor : 6/10The chess opening shouting of this song made me fall back it . Well play , sir . Well played . Rather than initiate the circle of life , this song makes you sexually paralyzed .

Jurassic Parktheme song

sticky divisor : 7/10“This one wo n’t be awkward unless you recognize this ! ” Steven discourage me . Please observe that he likes to joke that I have only go steady three motion-picture show and two of them were part of theAir Budfranchise .

He deal a opportunity with this one . And , he was in luck – I have indeed seen this pic and I did indeed immediately recognize this .

“The Super Bowl Shuffle”

cumbersome cistron : 5/10The only matter more awkward than hear to football players pink is farting in a crowded elevator .

What’syourawkward-sex playlist?

The next time you want to do something novel and fun in the sleeping accommodation , try creating an inept sex playlist . No need to tick on the usual Ginuwine playlist you have saved in your phone ( I ’m pretty sure we ’ve all gotten busybodied to “ Pony , ” even if it was signify ironically … or not ) , turn on the composition song fromSpace Jamand see what happens . I can guarantee it will be a nighttime you ’ll always commemorate .

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