Since I was a little kid , I ’ve been obsess with zombie movies . I distinctly remember watch George A. Romero ’s originalDawn of the Deadat a mediate - school sleepover , imitating the zombi ’s hobble on my way to pizza pie after the screening in Alex Rose ’s support elbow room . I ride in the front dustup in the picture theatre forDawn ’s 2004 remaking , and when the petrol tanker exploded as the zombi apocalypse hit Milwaukee , I literally could n’t contain myself : I stood up and scream “ Yessssss ! ! ! ” as the titles attain the projection screen .
So , when I came across a listing for zombie auditions for the newWalking Deadattraction opening this summer at Universal Studios , I knew that I may never get another opportunity to spoil my passion to amble like I did when I was 13 , scare the diddly out of some visitors from Milwaukee , and become a zombie without , like , all that eating - someone’s - brain clobber .
And , more significantly than that , it ’d give me insight into a part of Los Angeles finish I ’ve never really delved into . Like everyone else in townspeople , I certainly have plenty of friends who are go actors in various levels of success in the industry . For me , though , outside of toy Tevye and Snoopy in 30 - second summer camp version ofFiddler on the RoofandYou’re a Good Man , Charlie Brownand nailing penis - of - the - Greek chorus status in high schooling musical ( but not , like , High School Musical ) , I ’ve never really , y’know , acted .
Jason Hoffman/Thrillist
So , I signed up for a meter slot to have my first professional ( zombie ) audition , hoping to figure out what really is up with an activity that it seems like most of the hoi polloi you receive here enumerate on for their rage , their business , and their phone yell back home to secern their parents how it ’s going .
It speedily became clear who the pro were and who was , like me , a tourist in the auditory modality circuit .
Leading up to the audition , I exercise my slow - movement menace to my lady friend ( “ I do n’t think you ’re gon na get it , ” she told me . “ It looks a little too flamboyant ” ) , and two weeks later on , found myself walking up to the Globe Theatre , hidden in the recession the right way by the Minions ride at Universal Studios . I gave a man with a clipboard my start time and was in a holding area when a dude with frosted tips set out chatting me up :
“ Hey man , you ever done anything like this before?”“No , not really . ”“Me neither . My beau was taste to be an doer , but he broke up with me , and I see this , and was like , ‘ the adept revenge is winner , ’ you have it away , so then I was like , ‘ I ’m just gon na go for it , ’ I stand for , I did move to LA to be an worker , but , like , I was helping him , so I ’ve just been doing rummy jobs in the meantime – did you know that there ’s a place that ’ll give you to be in the audience of talk appearance – anyways , yeah , if I get this , it ’ll show him … ”
Oh . Right . THIS is why I ’ve never wanted to be an actor . As I count at this guy cable – who clearly consider that his route to superstardom was go to start with a slight case - latex and a guttural growl , I felt sorry for him , and also feel a bit guilty : after all , he clearly WANTED this . I merely consider it ’d be fun .
We were called into the theatre – essentially , a huge , rotary way – where they straightaway took our summit measurements and gave us a form to need basic questions about our availability . I lied and said I was always useable ; putting “ yeah , I write most afternoons , but , like , I ’ll seek to make room to be a zombie when I can ” would presumably put me out of the run . The room filled in a routine , and I got to size up my competition , which was about as various as you’re able to imagine – a built black man with a mohawk , a positive - sized woman who wait like she had just add up over from the muscle - car normal , a fellow in his 60 with a Sons of Anarchy - style truck driver beard , a girl that may have been my barista earlier in the day , and – most notably – a cat in headspring - to - toe black makeup with a wigging , who looked like he literally had just draw off of piece of work as a take the air statue on Hollywood Blvd and festinate up to the audition .
One chemical group was pulled into the auditory sense way , and through the walls I could see an lengthened version of the Walking Dead melodic theme . It took all the will power I had to not yell “ CAAAAARRRRL ” and look under tables for a crossbow in cause one of them actually turned .
understandably he thought his route to superstardom was buy the farm to bulge with a small boldness - latex & a guttural growl .
While I was still opine about which of my age group would be practiced to side with in the apocalypse ( I decided on frosted tips : he seemed lay on put himself forward of other people ) , my mathematical group was called . After a abbreviated orientation course ( “ there will be a grouping of people behind a table who are amusement professionals who ’ll be making the decisions . Some of it has to do with top and progress , so if you do n’t get break up , do n’t take it in person ” ) , we enter a much declamatory way , with five people with name tags behind a desk . They need us to get comfortable . And then we auditioned .
They expect us to keep the item confidential , but I do n’t think it ’s any breach that the auditions call for , well , work like zombies , first as a group , and then one by one . And though I ’d been practice my amble for years ( attend straight ahead , but drained - eyed ! drop back your groundwork , but not too much ! Make gargle sounds while gnawing your teeth ! ) , it apace became unmortgaged who the pros were and who was , like me , a tourist in the hearing circuit .
The rockabilly woman looked like she was trying to be a snake god , while barista girl was a zombie . All of a sudden , her body language interchange ; her ramification drooped ; her branch moved effortlessly . BeardedSons of Anarchyman ’s stroll was practiced , judge , and , frankly , not good ; paint guy , however , meander in a direction that suggested that , yes , his hunger for your neck was veridical and merciless and lawful . And black mohawk haircut guy ? One glimpse and you bang he meant business , and his business was eating human flesh , and holy hell , you well snap up a nail - abetted baseball game bat , because if not , your business and his business sector would presently be one .
By the sentence it was my good turn , I tried to take what I ’d check and go with it . But even as I did my first audition , I knew I was n’t move to get it : my legs were not wilted enough , my caput was not tilted aright ; I keep enquire if my zombie was too flamboyant . And it also became obvious to me WHY I was n’t run short to get it : I had n’t work at it , forever and a day , like these people had , and I had n’t put in hours to a passion for acting , whether it was playingMacbethor , well , committing to scare off the dirt out of tourer at Universal . It did n’t matter to barista girl or mohawk guy what the auditory modality was for : they had spent years in improv classes , and dance stratum , and perhaps zombie - walking class , perfecting the way to make their eubstance move just decent to get the part , whatever that part was .
We heard about callbacks now afterwards . I was not picked . But , for sure , when the attractiveness opens this summer , I ’ll be one of the first in line . And I ’ll be see into dark corner for a valet de chambre who used to make his money as a human carving on Hollywood Blvd . And I ’ll be scared as hell .
And I ’ll also respect the shit out of him . Well , more than before , at least .
Jeff Millerlikes both dim and fast zombies . He ’s on Instagram at@jeffmillerlaand Twitter at@Thrillistla .
bless up herefor our daily LA email and be the first to get all the food / drinking / play Los Angeles has to offer .
