The Democratic National Convention hit Philly like a electrical storm . And during a thunderstorm . Right before gavel time on solar day one , the sky open up , inundate the City of Brotherly Love . delegate travel rapidly indoors as protesters huddled under their cardboard signs . The air take a breath apocalypse .
I wrangled an invite to the Wisconsin Delegation ’s after - political party through a supporter . Though I live in Philly now , I spent my formative long time in Minnesota . These are my people . And I was on a mission : to understand DNC delegate drinking habits .
If you ’ve been record the news program , you bed the headlines . Americans are more divided than ever . cornet is tearing the GOP apart . Bernie supporter are menace the unity of the Democratic Party . But most of that ’s coming through the news media , and those guys necessitate a narrative . It ’s grueling to tell how shared we really are . I figured drinking with these the great unwashed was the best way to detect out if we were really as fractured as we look on television set .
And if I did n’t find the capital - T Truth ? Hey , detached cocktails .
That nighttime I get at the National Constitution Center and walk upstairs to the grand rotunda with its view of the Liberty Bell Center and Independence Hall . caterer were serving parody of Philadelphia food . poor boy . farsighted hots . A make - your - own - cheesesteak station . Nobody makes their own cheesesteak in Philly .
I arrived while the convention was still underway across town . With the room relatively bare , I chaffer up the bartenders . “ Most people are drinking beer and wine , ” one of them evidence me . “ Though when the storm murder , we got a rush of vodka soda pop . ”
I was puzzling through the connective when I realized the tempest had collide with around the clock time Bernie fans were chanting “ Hey Hey DNC ! We wo n’t vote for Hil - la - ry ! ” I ’m sure the run on vodka was a complete co-occurrence .
soon after 11:00pm , Bernie wrapped up his spoken language and the way get down to fill with staffer and delegate , complete with name badges , froth signs , and pathetic hats . I draw close a mellow - level Hillary strategist survey the arriving guests with a steely regard . I smoothly strike up a conversation . “ Hey , ah , so what do you drink at event like these ? ”
“ I never imbibe at political mathematical function , " he replied . " The more people drink , the more they secern you . And the more they say you , they more power you have over them . ”
I nod , smile , and backed out . I have no involvement in being Frank Underwooded tonight .
There was a surprising amount of not - drinking , actually . I utter with a strategist who did n’t salute at all any longer . “ Too many wild night on the campaign , ” he said .
I foregather two baby - confront Hillary staffers shoot the buffet like they had n’t been fed since Super Tuesday . “ We ca n’t wassail , period , ” one said between mouthful , “ We ’re up at 6 am every day . ”
“ They should make a Bernie cocktail though , ” say the other . “ And it should be on fire . They could call it ‘ palpate the Bern . ’ ”
“ What would the Hillary one be ? ” I ask .
“ A beer in a ‘ I ’m with her ’ coozie ? ”
Dissatisfied with the shoddy cocktail acumen among the Hillary bunch , I attempt out the Bernie booster . They were well-fixed to spot . Many had on Bernie tetraiodothyronine - shirt , and almost all of them had nonsensical headwear .
One delegate sported an oversized unripe cap with a feather in it . I guessed Peter Pan , but he cursorily corrected me . “ Robin Hood ! I ’m one of Bernie ’s lively men ! Rob from the plentiful and give to the hapless ! ”
“ What have you been drinking ? ” I inquire .
“ Whatever ’s free , ” he aver , cracking open a Miller Lite .
I ran into another Bernie delegate wearing a Wisconsin cheesehead lid . She too was wassail beer , but when I mentioned cocktails , she launched into the history of Wisconsin bitters . Here ’s the Cliff ’s Notes version : Nelsen ’s Hall & Bitters Club is the sure-enough continually operating tap house in Wisconsin . During ban , the possessor applied for a pharmacist ’s license , allowing him to allot 90 - proof angostura bark bitters as medical specialty . To this twenty-four hours , Wisconsin has the highest per - head ingestion of bitters of any state . I feel like I just have a class in Wisconsin history .
“ What are you drinking if Trump wins ? ” I asked her .
“ Canadian Whiskey . muckle of it . ”
Tom Barrett , city manager of Milwaukee took the floor for a pro - Hillary pep talk . Then Wisconsin Senator Tammy Baldwin stood in front of the crew , a methamphetamine of livid wine in her hand . “ I ’ll make it quick , because I ’ll see most of you tomorrow morning . Although I do n’t sleep with how many of you will make it to breakfast . ” Shade . Thrown .
As the place began to clear out , I roam into Signers Hall where the 42 signer of the Constitution are represented with life story - size bronze statues . This position is limitless fun when you ’re unsupervised after a few vodka soda . I high up fived George Washington and gave James Madison a noogie . I also take a selfie with Alexander Hamilton , because I am a teen missy .
My only companion in the hallway were two scrappy dudes who reckon like they ’d slip in . One wore a baseball chapeau , tonne - shirt , shorts and sandals , the other looked like a miniature interlingual rendition of Scott Stapp . They were trying to get Ben Franklin to hold a phone , so it would look like he was catching Pokémon . turn out they were not stowaways , but hosts of a political talk radio set show . This explain the formalwear . “ At the RNC in Cleveland everybody was wassail gin cucumber lemonade cocktail , ” said Baseball Cap . “ It was very antebellum . ”
BC turn out to be a centrist Hillary jock , while mini - Stapp was a green party devotee supporting Jill Stein . “ She ’s over at Bank & Bourbon on Market Street right now , salute with Cornel West , ” he said . I contemplated a quick Uber , but thought safe of it . I ’m not sure I could handle Cornell West with a few pops in him .
The three of us did n’t see heart to eye on many political egress , but as our discussion continued , my felicity grew . It seemed that no matter of our affiliations we could share a drink and have a healthy discussion about it . Is it possible that all the shared political landscape painting needs is easier admittance to a streak ?
As I wind out onto Independence Mall , a rat dashed across my way and directly under the foot of a Tammy Baldwin staffer with a William Howard Taft - similar soma . There was a subdued crunching phone , but the with child guy rope did n’t seem to note . Just kept on trucking leaving the puke , motionless as Ben Carson ’s poll numbers , in the center of the sidewalk .
I star at the squealer for a foresightful time , trying to plumb the metaphor . Clumsy donkeys come to township and step on the little guy ? Is this how Trump loses ? perhaps the puke is Bernie . Or Wisconsin . Just a humble Midwestern state trying to make a point of view amidst the chaos of the big urban center .
Or perhaps it was just a rat who buy the farm out for a multitude of smokes and never come home . A admonisher that we never know when the inevitable invertebrate foot of mortality will arrive for us .
I crack the bottle of Miller Lite I ’d smuggle out with me . It was all they ’d had on offer as the party thread down . I would have choose Wisconsin bitters , but politics is the art of compromise .
As I strolled past the Liberty Bell on my direction home I poured out a few drops for my rodent friend and wished him luck on his journey to the great wheel of Wisconsin cheese in the sky . He deserved it , no matter who he represented . In the pre - apocalypse we all need all the friends we can get .
