Please, Please Don't Wait in Line for 'Rare' Beer

right smart back when , beer was the common gentleman’s gentleman ’s drinkable . In rowdy German rathskeller , seclude Czech monastery , and the windowless pubs of Dublin , human race without land clanked beer mug together , singing and swigging and fuddle away the dismal European world of societal fixedness . The propertied social class could have wine-coloured from their vinery and liquor from their distilleries , but beer , like republic , was the democrat ’s frailty .

That ’s beer ’s romanticist account . It sounds right , does n’t it ? Sure ! It may have even been straight , way back when . But a few hundred forward and an ocean away , in the country whose forefathers allegedly drank tankards of ale while forging its constitution , beer ’s egalitarianism is under attack . American workmanship beer , the great equalizer , the one - clock time David to the macro ’ Goliath , has spawned a fanatical fly in the popular balm . Pure of center and earnest of purpose though they may be , this chemical group challenges the very core of craft beer ’s ethos . They are to the craft beer - drinking public what the Tea Party is to the GOP .

They are the people who expect in argument for uncommon craftsmanship beer .

LINE FOR RUSSIAN RIVER’S PLINY THE YOUNGER. | FLICKR/NICK LONG

You know them as " beer snobs , " but these are not just your garden - variety hopheads , or even enthusiastic festival - leaver . No , I ’m blab about the real dice - hards . The dIPA fanboys , framboise evangelists , and gose fetishist who willingly queue up up to grease one’s palms super - limited - exit clobber . The ones whoswap stoutsand drain - pour sell - out . The people who drive 500 miles for a case of Heady Topper or CBS .

They ’re turning craft beer into something it never was and never should be : unrelatable , unaffordable , and unwelcoming . Beer is inclusive by nature , but lines only subsist to shut out . With each line stood and each prize beer beguile , they threaten the community ’s essentially democratic nature .

The idea of trace up for beer is unfamiliar to most people in the US . It may even seem a little stupid . This is proficient . It means that you ’re a sensible soul . fairish masses understand that the only things worth lining up for are items that are critical to human survival – water , rice , et cetera– in contexts where they are scarce , such as a famine , or avery severe wintertime storm .

DARK LORD IS ONLY SOLD AT DARK LORD DAY. | FLICKR/BRIAN HABERER

There ’s no way Dark Lord is THAT MUCH better than every other imperial stout on the shelf .

In addition to being non - indispensable to man ’s evolutionary fitness ( anddownright detrimentalto hisactualfitness ) trade beer is abundant as roll in the hay . As fuck , I tell you ! There are around 4,000 brewery in the land , andevery becoming city has at least one great beer barwith dozens of taps and bottles galore . But I ’m not even verbalise about specialization outlets . I ’m talking about the mainstream retail landscape . From suburban supermarket , to strong drink marts , to rinky - dink bodega , craft beer is now a staple . Hell , you , can get Sixpoint at Mets game , Dogfish Head on Amtrak railroad train , andLagunitas at 30,000 foot .

The point is , there ’s a lot of craft beer out there , and a mickle of it is very full . Whatever bottle you ’re waiting for just ca n’t bethat much betterthan the one you may buy on the shelf . This is no shot at the brewers whose beers have inspired such feverish need . 3 Floyds , Alchemist , Russian River , Hill Farmstead … these folks make excellent beer . By skill , fortune , and perchance doom , they have become furore names in the craft view . Deservedly so .

BOURBON COUNTY STOUT IS RESOLD FOR $$$. | FLICKR/MITCH

Still , not for a single second do I trust that Dark Lord – award - get ahead though it is – could possibly be so transcendent of every other regal stout that it merits camp out in an Indiana parking lot just for a crack at buying a few nursing bottle of it . Frankly , I ca n’t think a product – beer or otherwise – thatwouldbe .

Tell me I ’m wrong . Shout me down , go onwards . I ’ll be the guy over here drinking aLeft Hand Milk StoutI bought at the gas post , laughing at all you clown look for bombers .

This brings us to the actual line - waiters . Let ’s talk about them . They ’re run to be very angry with me when they read this article . That ’s fine ! We do n’t see centre - to - heart on this . I have friends who line up for beer releases . Hell , I have colleague who do it ! They ’re effective people , and they ’ll unremarkably counter my criticism by telling me that the blood are n’t " just about the beer . " It ’s about the culture , and the community , andblah blah blah .

Beer - line mentality is n’t just stupid , it ’s intimidate & toxic .

I believe them . ( Therearepeople who are just there for bottles to leverage in trades and at auction ; that ’s a different story . ) But I also believe that their fandom is inadvertently shaping the community / polish / fustian blah blahinto an exclusive club .

In other word , I admire their passion , but I do n’t check with – wait for it – what theystandfor . ( Ha ! Like , in the line … but also in principle … do you get it ? Hello ? )

Waiting in line for beer is a dissentious force out in our community . It elaborate craft beer . It stratifies us into imbibition castes . It values the scarcity of a beer over the delectation derive from it . Craft culture is ramify into two form , and one of them will only drink beer that ’s sufficiently scarce and properly cellared .

On one hand , this is good tidings for the non - fixated majority of craft beer drinkers , who are quenched with vast , on a regular basis uncommitted retail selection , and do n’t search whales . More swell beer ( and more easily gotten ) for us !

But believe this : though it ’s grow at a fantastic rate these sidereal day , the intact craft residential area is still an enormous minority ( just 11 % ! ) in America ’s beer scene at big . That means more people than ever are brace to form their very first impression of our hoppy footling world who do n’t know what you & I sleep with . Namely , that there are a bajillion dramatic beer to try , so instead of intrigue for a Pliny , they should go forth and enjoy a 12 very beneficial , non - fetishized IPAs first .

There ’s a beneficial hazard that they ’ll take one face at the line ( or one listen to the people who stand in ‘em ) and go somewhere else ; into the inviting clasp of corporal " tricky " beers , or even back to the pallid - yellow embracement of an appurtenant lager . Beer - lineage mentality is n’t just stupid , then – it ’s intimidating , and maybe even toxic , to the continued variety of the craft market .

The brewer ! Do n’t forget about them . Talk to any craft beer maker and they ’ll constantly tell you that their only goal is to make really good beer . ( Craft brewers tend to beearnest to a fault . ) Most of them do just that . But when craft beer ’s little , vocal , cerebration - leading nonage drop all its time lining up for the next hyped - up limited button , it creates the perception throughout the market place that those beer are " better . " This is n’t inevitably rightful , of course , but it does n’t weigh . entrant learn to venerate a handful of chosen breweries and disregard the rest . That sucks for them , and for the brewers . It sucks for all of us .

In the ' eighty , trade beer made its name by being bold , courageous , and entirely unlike from the deal - produced , mass - marketed swill on the ledge . It was then , and it still is . But it ’s a ok balance being an come-at-able luxury for the imbibing public , and an untouchable sumptuosity good service the vanity of the midway class . ( Kind of like wine . Ew . ) If you line up for a super - rare beer release , you ’re complicit in making it the latter .

So where do you go from here ? Simple . pledge what you desire ; toast what your Quaker & bartenders recommend . Hell , drink a crafty beer , if that ’s what you like . Just , for God ’s sake , if you see a prospicient - fuck personal credit line , please do n’t get in it with the assumption that the beer at the final stage is any good than the one you ’ve already set out in your fridge .