Working out is peachy if you ’re good at it . You get to bend your beautiful body in coolheaded   manner , and the instructor smiles at you and says , " Gorgeous work , Melinda ! " However , if   you are not good at working out , it hurts and is bad ( even if you have a cool name like   Melinda ) . Here are the reasons I walked out of my physical exercise course of instruction before it was over :

•The teacher played bad golem euphony with lyrics like " making love is dearest " and " you are   you . “•The instructor hold open saying " one more " but then made us do 57 more.•There were two women in the class named Venus.•The instructor state it was " time to extinguish our behind ! ! ! " and I was like no it is not.•I realized I could just care ride my bike up one hill or hold a big box or something   instead.•The instructor look like this girl I knew in middle school named Amber who say   I did n’t have a top lip , and candidly , I do n’t really have a top brim but I MAKE IT   WORK.•Going to the form was like going to a political party I was not bid to , but also I had to   pay to be there and all the chairs were invisible.•Everyone in the class was wearing the same pants , and I know those pants be   $ 100 because my ma got me some for my birthday which is love   because $ 100 could get you Spotify Premium and enough Elmer Rice to eat up evermore I   think.•I was 99 % trusted everyone in the class was a professional model with two studio   apartments ( one they shared with their handsome , yet kind husband / personal   chef and one that was " just for them”).•Right before category I had just woken up from a tension aspiration in which I had to do   standup comedy in a wheelchair on a cruise ship , and everyone on the ship kept   recount me that my ex ’s new lady friend " looks very beautiful in the morning " and   also when I tried to enjoin a jest that chubby lil mouse fromCinderellacrawled out of   my oral cavity .

•Everyone there look like Cinderella.•Everyone there had a precious little shelf butt like a cartoon.•The teacher kept call , " Do it for you ! " which reminded me of the clock time I was at a co - ed Christian sports camp in Arkansas ( foresighted history ) , and I was trying to rise a mountain , and the counselor kept yelling , " Do it for Jesus ! " and I was like , " … my arm are n’t warm enough , " and she say me to " beg about it . “•I kept poisonous substance wind and had to keep whipping my ponytail around to help scatter the scent.•I would rather be in the world sense a tree or read a verse form or kiss a cute boy ( when boys are precious I screw it ) than pay to be in a windowless basement with a bunch of masses who require to wither themselves.•It was really intemperate and life is very short.•I had just walked out of two movies recently so I knew I was good at walking out of things.•There was no one there named Melinda .

Cycling class

wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock

sign on up herefor our day-by-day Thrillist email , and get your fix of the good in nutrient / drink / playfulness .

Women working out in class

Syda Productions/Shutterstock