The first time I went out drinking with my older crony ( after I wrick 21 , obviously … ) , I noticed halfway through the night that he was clandestinely water down my whisky and snow . I was go booze - for - drinkable with a much elderly eventuality and he was wee-wee sure I was n’t become too tiddly by tricking me .
He imagine he was doing the correct thing . A useful Trygve Halvden Lie for the great good .
This is essentially what some noted investigator are suggesting we do on a national exfoliation : water down our beverage en masse shot , to curbAmerica ’s drunkenness problem . Big Brother would be choose lessons from my enceinte brother . And dammit , that ’s not all right .
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If you have n’t cracked get to the latest edition ofThe Lancet Gastroenterology & Hepatology(and I ’m perfectly certain you have not ) , the newly publishedresearch papertitled " grounds of reducing ethanol content in beverages to trim harmful use of inebriant , " argues that America needs to make the alcoholic content in its alcoholic beverages sapless .
To reword the academically thick and pedantic report , reducing the alcohol content in beer , liquor , and wine confront a solution to harmful drink habits and rule . It ensures spirits companies wo n’t miss any profits by selling less intoxicant , and the rest of us would still be able to indulge in as many alcoholic deglutition as we trust . The logic is well-grounded … in theory . If the great unwashed are give way to keep drinking in surplusage , let ’s reduce the amount of alcohol in their drink . It ’s the same ! Just less .
Though there is some precedent of this working on a minor scale –if frat brahs ca n’t tell if their beer is watered down , can anyone?– this is us surrendering to being unable to check ourselves . So , we want our authorities to do it for us . It ’s like asking your mom to arrest buying Bagel Bites because you simply ca n’t stop eating them . This is not fledged . This is babysitting . This is why millennials are a punchline of babyhood and inadequacy . It ’s like tie our own trinity to the tree because we eff we ’ll be tempted to go away the K .
Do we not have the necessary control , America ? Has it truly come to this ? This is just a proposal – sure , but a team of five extremely restricted researchers coming to this last is incredibly worrisome . This is clearly a stepping gem to the type of dystopian , apathetically accept society that writers likeRay Bradburywarned us about . What ’s next ? Zapping the THC out of our weedbecause tourer are getting too stoned ? Decreasing our sperm count so it ’s harder to have accidental maternity ?
In protestation , tonight I will be seeking out the beer with the highest ABV in my arena , and then tope a lot of it – responsibly !
I , for one , will not stand for the watering down of our beer nor the tearing down of our drinking exemption .
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