For years , the great unwashed have considered the first date to be the hardest one to master , lead Quaker and kinsfolk to give countless hour of advice to those going on the date . Well , imagine what : the first date is small potatoes and you ’re lay down a huge business deal out of nothing .
With the rise of go out apps and an increasing style towards keeping that first date casual and brief ( think one drink ora cup of coffee ) , first dates have become , well , kind of disposable . thing might go howling , they might not – either way , you ’ll probably be on to the next one before you ’ve even incur home from the previous particular date ( engineering science ! ) .
But the 2nd date ? That ’s when the real pressure set in . Here ’s why .
Cole Ott / Thrillist
The second date is like a job interview
rent ’s look at dates along the same vein as trying to get a job . The first date is your canonical Skype audience – you ’ve dolled yourself up , you ’ve exercise everything you ’re go to say , and you ’re probably ( possibly ? ) fag knickers . There ’s SOME press , for certain , but it ’s nothing more than a received sports meeting - and - greet .
The 2d appointment is when the pressure mount – you ’re extend into the bureau , you ’re submitting your writing exam , you ’re meeting with the guy wire in HR . It ’s all happening and you ca n’t rely on the killer icebreaker you mastered during the first meeting .
The air of excitement has all but dissipated
With our generation ’s level of flakiness hovering between a fresh croissant and the top of a warm poulet locoweed pie , it ’s a miracle to believe that people can actually muster up up the energy toleave their apartmentsand adjoin up with each other .
That being said , the fun and coquettish surround is gone when you meet up the second time . You ’re no longer walk in blindly … you know exactly what to carry and – like the job interview scenario – you ’ve already gone through all the cute thing you planned on saying before initially asking them out .
The venue comes into play
The localisation of the first appointment is always up for debate , but how much counselling is there out there for the second ? Anywhere between " little " and " none . " You ca n’t go to the bar you go on the first particular date , nor can you eat the same kind of food you already had . You have to do something new , exciting , but still somehow wild-eyed .
This means you have to bust up your learning ability mentation of an inventive venue to utter your feelings that somehow still feel original . By the time you ’re done machinate up a place , you ’re exhausted and have to rely on little talk to bear along the night until you either make out or get slay by a truck . At least the latter of the two situations would save you from screwing up the former .
" … a 2d date will ( and does ) reaffirm everything either party thinks the other intend on the previous date … "
For better or worse… your true intentions are known
Sometimes a first date is a fluke . Let ’s say you have a closemouthed female protagonist whose dog suddenly fail and you decide to ask her out for pizza out of sympathy , but she interprets the friendly move as an enactment of courtship . Now you ’re covered in tall mallow and tears and you do n’t recognise what to do next .
That ’s why you do n’t enquire her out again – but a second day of the month will ( and does ) reaffirm everything either company thinks the other thought on the previous particular date . So , at the same metre , getting that text for " allow ’s do it again next Friday " will alleviate the tension of not knowing whether or not they were into it .
The real you shines through
Is " struggle " the right word here ? I guess it all depends on what you would do if you pass upon a Stetson in the midriff of a street . The first engagement is when you ’re Mr. Cool Guy – you wear the T - shirt that makes you look ripped , those jean that do wonders for your calves , and that puka shell necklace you corrupt after you found out you could streamThe O.C.on Hulu .
Guess what , though ? You ca n’t wear any of that stuff again ; the 2nd date is all about what you ’re really like underneath all the cloth and seashell cloth . Do you really have the necessary muscles to pull out off any other kind of T - shirt ? Do you reckon as cool as Ryan Atwood in a puka case necklace ? ( No . )
Sex is even more up in the air
rent ’s put the perspective chance of sexual practice at around 50 % on a first date . You ’re either completely not into it or so into it that you abandon your no - sex - on - the - first - date rule and jump into the firing with the soul you just receive . In either case , sex activity is far from guarantee on the second date .
If you ’re the type of person who does n’t slumber with someone on the first date , you ’re probably not going to concede to doin' it on the second . Similarly , if you already bump boots once , this is suddenly the date where you " get to bed each other . " Guys , the 2nd date is serious .
You have to clean your apartment
Yeah , guy , sorry . you’re able to always blame your dirty - can apartment on your roomy or laundry Clarence Day when it ’s first viewed by virgin eyes … but when someone reckon the same discarded corner in the same blot two weeks in a row , that ’s when the judgment begins .
So , clean your flat and attempt to communicate the fancy that you do n’t live like a concluded vagrant . In fact , regularly scavenge your flat will only run to a nice life style , despite what most college - aged people and young adults take over .
To sum it up : halt sweating that first date – they come and go , and you ’ll acquit yourself better if you ’re super relaxed anyway . The " I better not screw this up , " high - post legal action does n’t give up in until the second escort , anyway .
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