walk into the Apple Store does n’t feel anything like walking into Best Buy .   Lines are long and emotion track down high at the Genius Bar , but for some cause , scores of people feel compel to go in there and just fall out on any given day .   It ’s aone - of - a - kind retail experience .

But what is it likebehindthe scenes , inside one of the most infamously close companies on the planet ? Ever inquire how much storage employees really acknowledge about unannounced Apple products ? Or what the caper is to get your headphone replaced for free ?   I get a handful of former employees and ex - Genii to confess some of the best - observe secrets of the Apple Store . translate on , Apple fiends .

Our sources : Lucas , a five - year veteran who worked his way up the Apple totem rod to Lead Genius;David , a part - sentence Sales Specialist with four and half years under his belt ; andTony , who finish out his five class stretch as a Family Room Specialist . To protect them from the wrath of Tim Cook and Co. , we ’ve changed their names . Some of what they said has been edited for lucidness .

Apple store secrets

Jason Hoffman/Thrillist

Employees are not allowed to tell you “no”

Lucas:“Under no circumstances could we tell a customer directly , ' No , I can not help with this issue . ' This was a dodgy one in certain situations . For good example , if a customer had to pay $ 199 to replace their upset iPhone blind , they ’d get very upset . If they say something like ' So you ’re recite me you ca n’t help me with this , you ca n’t fix my earphone ? ! ' we were trained to reply with ' Yes , I absolutely can facilitate you and I ’d love to . The replacement is $ 199 . ' This could loop around in roundabout for quite for a while . "

They acknowledge certain products suck, even if Apple won’t

David:“If you had an old MacBook and your battery charger last the life of the figurer – you should be extremely majestic of yourself . We had countless people bring theirs in from fraying where the cable television get in touch to the tycoon brick – and we ’d just have to say they ’d probably been roll it incorrectly or not handle for it the right way , even though it was cleara ton of people had the exact same return . ”Lucas:“Apple Maps was shit then . It ’s damn now . Also I think the Apple Watch is the speechless matter ever . Who is that lazy ? ”

Apple goes to great lengths to keep new products a secret from employees

David:“We werenevergiven inside information on any fresh product releases or design . I remember when the iPhone 5 came out , we receive a loading of the raw Lightning Cables a minuscule bit before the declaration . Even something as simple as the design of the fresh cable was such a secret that when they in the first place sent them to us , they were disguised inwardly of a mock enclosure that mimicked the older , 30 - tholepin cable design . When the young cable length was unveil , they send us didactics on how to prize these enclosure open to reveal the new connecter secretly domiciliate inside of the Old 1 . Crazy poppycock . ”

They’ve seen your dick pics, and plenty of other wild stuff

Tony:“The stuff that would drink down up on citizenry ’s computers when we would do a data point migration … when the photos spell into iPhoto , it would swank each pic on the screen as it was import . So . Many . Dick . Pics . Some things just ca n’t be unseen . ”Lucas:“I go in a gamy profile trendy area . One timeDiploonce came in to inform me he had subjected his iPhone to vodka impairment . At least he was honest about it . I swapped his phone out for him and he pass on me a joint right in populace as a thank you .

" We also had a customer who was very wild with a long wait when we were back up . He threatened that he had a dud in his backpack and was going to bungle up the memory if we did n’t serve him . He was escorted out by our security department and asked not to come back . A calendar week later , a news story broke that there was a bomb calorimeter terror at a local LA Fitness . A swat team in dud suits went in . The man was contain by police . When the mug shot was release : guess who ? ”

No, it’s not a cult

David:“The vast majority of people I worked with were already ego - glorify ' fanboys ' from the beginning and were super passionate about Apple . They ’d all learn the Steve Jobs biography that came out awhile back , owned all of the product , obsessed over all of the rumour , etc .

" For anyone who stays longer than a year or two , the overall passion of the brand does get a little worn just because you ’re administer with the same hoi polloi need the same questions , buying the same thing each and every mean solar day . you’re able to only be passionate about selling someone an iPhone sooooo many times before you begin to die inside when someone asks what Siri is or what ' GB ' agency . ”

They know when you’re full of shit

Lucas:“It ’s very obvious when somebody is lying . Genii know what they ’re babble out about . The client generally does not . Do n’t seek to talk through one’s hat somebody that knows the Cartesian product inside out . Sometimes I found myself seeing masses wait in seam before I even talk to them and I ’d mean in my head ‘ This hombre is a bullshitter . ’“Tony:“I had a guy rope endeavor to win over me that the fluid damage was some kind of E.T. fluid from when he was abduct [ by aliens ] . It was grueling to keep a full-strength face during that . ”David:“One time we had a guy wire contribute in a completely destroyed iPhone in a plastic bag . I have in mind this affair was 100 % unrecognizable . He secern us it was n’t working right , so he took it out behind his house and film it with a rifle because he was so feed up with the thing . We did not replace it . ”Lucas:“The most full - of - shit customer I ever had was a bozo that came in and put a mutate , deformed iPhone in front of me and aver ‘ My headphone is n’t working . ’ I politely asked what happened . He explicate that he had been talking on it , when suddenly the sound got very raging and initiate to burn his hand , so he throw it on the counter and it burst out into fire . I took the earphone into the Genius Room to open it up … it clearly had been submit to some type of liquid , and I returned to the Genius Bar to tell him . He responds with ‘ Well yeah , it caught on fire , so I threw it in the cesspool and ran water over it . ’ Right … I am quite sure that he dropped his phone in water and intend that the best idea was to dry out it in the microwave . ”

There are loopholes to get your phone fixed for free

Lucas:“There were a few instance where you could get away with something because of how you presented it . For example , the iPhone 6 had an issue where the photographic camera had a film that would slowly slew over the lens of the eye . When I say lento , I mean very slow , but eventually it would start to make a unearthly distortion on your moving picture . Say you had a crack headphone . If you take the phone in and say ‘ I dropped my headphone and it is cracked , ' now you need to pay the transposition fee . If you bring a cracked phone in but say ‘ I study up and know this cinema is a defect of the phone and I ’m starting to see it slip over . ’ Well , now we are n’t replacing the phone for the cracked screenland , are we ? We are supersede it because of a experience issue . So I guess it is always worth looking up issues like this ahead of sentence to see if you’re able to climb up through a closed circuit hole . ”

Not all employees are created equal

David:“AGeniusis top domestic dog in terms of knowledge , term of office , and company perks . They ’re the ones desex your computer at the Genius Bar . You accomplish this stagecoach after years of usage at the retail store . It ’s get wind as more prestigious because you ’re flown out to Cupertino ( or Austin ) for a match weeks of intensive breeding . ARed Zone Specialistis a sales repp that helps you buy your data processor , watch , iPhone , etc . and hangs out in the merchandise section . AFamily Room Specialisthangs out around the Genius Bar and handles non - computer repair . Personally , I call back they have the toughest job in the stock as they are constantly on the grind to get through appointments ( mobile appointments are meant to be no more than 10 minute ) and are on the receiving end of a spate of customer heat . ALeaderis basically management , helping out with client service issues and allocating break . Typically there is one in charge of the ‘ Red Zone ’ ( sale ) , one in charge of the Family Room , and one overseeing the whole store . ”

There is a distinct hierarchy among employees

Lucas:“The moral force was unmatched . Anyone at Apple who was above entry level thought they were hot cocksucker because we all particularize in such specific , tasteful areas . Creatives have intercourse the software inside and out , while Genii know the mechanics indoors and out . Leaders love Apple so much they never leave and they plausibly have their ‘ 5 Year Thank You from Tim Cook ( or Steve Jobs ) ’ plaque nailed to their rampart . ”David:“Yeah – I ’d say part - time Red Zone Specialists and part - time Family Room Specialists were at the bottom of the food chain since we still had to work a fairly hefty number of hours but did n’t have a lot of the perks of full - timers . proceed on up to become a Genius was definitely seen as an accomplishment since it imply panoptic breeding and flying out to Apple Corporate to get that certification . The top executive dynamic can be a little off - putt if you ’re new since the higher - ups like to show off their cognition any chance they get . ”

A Genius won’t try to rip you off… but a Specialist might

Tony:“Geniuses do n’t work on committal so we had no incentive to up deal . In fact , I would endeavor to down sell . Your four - class - one-time girl does n’t need a 5k laptop . “Lucas:“I’d never say that any Genius would strain to ‘ pull out one over ’ on clueless customers . Our success was related to a few factors : one was NPS ( final promoter score ) , which is a survey the client would fill out after their assignment ask how we did . The other major 1 were the turnaround rate for the appointments at the Genius Bar , and the reversal rate for repairs where we actually had to keep their devices . Screwing a customer over in anyway did n’t aid our statistic as an individual or as a team , so there would be no reason to do so . medical specialist , however , are monitored on sales and specific ADHD - ons to their gross revenue . If anyone would be trying to ‘ displume a flying one ’ on clueless customers it would be the Specialists . ”

You can hang out in there all day every day… as long as you don’t smell

Lucas:“Part of the Apple business enterprise model is set out people to return to the stock as frequently as possible , so that you could larn more , ( and hopefully ) grease one’s palms more . Were there weirdos ? Sure . It ’s retail . Plenty of crazies . People can issue forth into Apple and play on a computer as long as they want and we ’d never say a word . ”Tony:“We had a lot of homeless people coming in . We eventually had to tell this one cat that , because he smelled so risky and pay client were kvetch , he could n’t come up back in . ”David:“My store always had the accurate same guy rope – probably later ‘ 50s I ’d say – come in every single day the entire time I worked there and just string up out to use the computer . He always wore the same outfit . Mostly , he would just face at pictures of female renown online – he had a real thing for Mila Kunis … He ’d be front at things like best - coiffure list and cartridge shoots they ’d done – nothing salacious . But it was still always super uncomfortable since he ’d be at it for hours , looking at this stuff . We never really said anything , since he kept to himself and did n’t rag other customers or staff . There ’s not really a policy on ask citizenry to leave . ”

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Apple Store secrets

Jason Hoffman/Thrillist

Apple store secrets

Jason Hoffman/Thrillist

Apple store secrets

Jason Hoffman/Thrillist