A enceinte restaurant is like a finely tune simple machine : customers do n’t notice the gear until they break . Servers understand the internal workings comfortably than anyone , and as such they know that even the most ruinous failures will be forgotten after a destitute plate of Brussels germinate .

That type of secret is n’t a dirty one , and from audience with an anon. radical of servers whose experience range from nonchalant brunch spots to fine dining , pizza joints , sushi places and more , we learned that most of the insider intel is n’t of a villainous nature . A server ’s job is to ensure customers have a great experience , and so as to achieve that end it takes a complex toolkit of sociological profiling and industry gamesmanship . And also stacks of comped appetizers .

The up-sell is a myth

It does n’t make sense for a host to fight something expensive that wo n’t make the customer happy . That does n’t lead in a good bakshis , or a return client , so there ’s no incentive for a server to macerate their vigor . They have water supply glasses to replenish anyway .

Bigger people are seated strategically

heavy folks and the extra - tall just wo n’t end up at a strangle two - top near a service lane if it can be void , and that ’s for everybody ’s benefit . Nobody need to be crammed in an expanse where they feel like they ’re eat on the best airline business repast they ’ve ever had , and host do n’t want to be present to a base plan that makes it feel like they ’re running through a Double Dare obstacle course full of bodies .

“Daddy or date?” is a real game

And reasonably much host plays it when an elder man and a substantially younger show up alone together . A hired hand on the peg ordinarily gives   away the fact that the honest-to-goodness dude might be a unlike kind of daddy .

You’ll get your food faster if you heed recommendations

On a fussy dark , a server wo n’t urge a dish with a recollective prep time , and we highly advocate you listen to them . Heeding their recommendation can mean you get your guild in half the time it would take something more intensive to come out .

You should always say “yes” to a suggested snack between courses

" Anything else to snack on while you ’re waiting ? " after you order basically means " you should order something else , because this is go to be a while . "

Sex and the Citystill has a stronghold all these year later , apparently . Which is to say , you should n’t have reservation about tell them . Or , really , any drinking that makes you happy .

Servers spot vegans when they walk in the door

If the unmistakable aroma of patchouli does n’t give them away ( that ’s not even a joke ! ) , they ’ll in all probability foretell their dietary lifestyle as soon as they sit around down .

In the game of “who’s paying,” servers are the referees

The mediocre human eatery - goer spends hours of his life fence with dates and friends over who pays the bill while waving credit cards at a host . This secret plan can go on as long as the server allows , and ends when he grabs a identity card and walks . Now you ’re just leave argue over who pays the tip .

Giving the server your card at the beginning of the meal is an accidental source of stress

A surprising number of customers will go around a discussion of who pays by slipping the server their credit card early in the meal . For the client , that means nobody can fight him when the debate about who ’s give starts . For the server , the result is a pocketful of contribute duty and summate stress when it comes clip to remember which bill of fare pass to which table .

Servers hate Groupons and gift cards

The principal grounds ? The overwhelming legal age of client using Groupons see nothing wrong with tipping at a 50 % discount , despite the fact that the server is still functioning at 100 % . As for gift cards , well , a surprising numeral of mass see them as a loose meal , and count tip as part of the deal , leaving those busting their humps empty - handed .

A high-end restaurant will only cut you off if you’re an asshole

Upscale eating place will lodge even the most erm … enthusiastic guests as long as they ’re pleasant . But as shortly as the attitude turns sour , service will merrily put an end to the even .

There’s no point in lying to a hostess

They ’ve got a bigger bullshit detector than your mom . They know if your friend is “ parking ” or just late . And your " reservation for three " that really means " reservation for six " is just as transparent . No use lying to them . Maybe try redirecting that energy into a tip .

Weird music means “leave”

The faculty is ready to go home if the soundtrack takes a spell towards Metallica ’s late work or Justin Timberlake ’s early work . And if it ’s being trifle extra aloud , that think of you ’re really push the grace , no matter your feelings about the virtues of " Bye Bye Bye . "

Cursing breaks down formality barriers

The interaction between waiter and Edgar Guest can be uncomfortably unbending for everyone involved , but letting slip a four - varsity letter tidings that does n’t part with the varsity letter " C " is a prissy direction to deflate the tension and rent the server bonk that they can talk to you like a peer rather than a servant .

Chefs don’t use specials to get rid of old ingredients

Before service , most eatery will make up a large meal for the faculty to apportion , which is where any about - to - deform produce or protein will finish up . Unless the restaurant is really nefarious , there ’s no incentive for a chef to play a trick on a dining car with a special that they wo n’t enjoy . In fact , it ’s more likely that the chef is testing out something he or she is truly proud of .

sign on up herefor our casual Thrillist email , and get your kettle of fish of the good in intellectual nourishment / drink / playfulness .

two large customers at a restaurant

Jason Hoffman/Thrillist

old man and younger woman on a date at a restaurant

Jason Hoffman/Thrillist

Vegans reading a menu at a restaurant

Jason Hoffman/Thrillist

Rude customer at a restaurant tripping the server

Jason Hoffman/Thrillist