The leading twinkle of the cocktail existence were honored Saturday in New Orleans at Tales of the Cocktail’s10th Annual Spirited Awards . While I applaud the many worthy candidate andwinnersfrom all over the world , I will intromit to being a snatch miffed that some of my favorite categories were except this time around .
To relieve the situation , I assembled some diligence acquaintance at theOld Absinthe Houseon Bourbon Street where we worked through the missing honour category ourselves . The solution were then scribbled on a taproom napkin and kept under armed sentry duty by a representative from the account house of PricewaterhouseCoopers who , it should be noted , was feeling more than a little ornery coming off a Hurricane curve ball at Pat O’Briens .
Though initially reluctant to part with the lean , our esteemed partner became reasonably more compliant after being hit with a ataractic agent dart . plow out they still use blowguns in NOLA . In any guinea pig , before he wakes up , here , fresh from the swampland are the 2016 Dispirited Awards , aka The Only Booze Awards That count .
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Best Bartender Tattoo
Winner : “ eye On Eyelids , ” Lance Von Schner , The Vainglorious Rathskeller , San Francisco CAThree - time runner - up for Waxiest Mustache , Von Schner last smash through in one of this twelvemonth ’s most competitive class , beating out past winners Serge Diablo ( “ Unidentifiable Geometric Shape On Forearm ” ) and Lila Bronk ( “ Joy Division Lyric Across Both Shoulders ” ) . During an aroused acceptance speech , Von Schner thanked his longtime tattoo artist for the unique ocular nontextual matter , which allows him to accomplish the epic , rarely perform , Double Eye - Roll at customer who rank vodka drinks . It carries a 3.7 degree of difficulty , but Lance makes it look as easy as a garden salmagundi I ’m Going To Refuse To Acknowledge You subsist Even Though You ’re Only Two foundation off From Me And Waving Frantically , the first trick most bartenders take .
Lifetime Achievement Award, Food
Winner : Alex , the Pickled Egg at Joe Jost ’s , Anaheim , CAAnother tough category loaded with desirable competition , from Chicken Wings at Anchor Bar In Buffalo , to Sole Remaining Slim Jim In The Broken Vending Machine Near The Men ’s Room at Dell ’s Tavern in Northeast Philly . In the oddment , though , the judges rewarded Alex for the about two decades he ’s spent soaking in brine in a dusty mason jounce behind a bottle of Jacquin ’s Blackberry Brandy over at Jost ’s . Alex puts in the hours , and it ’s that kind of humble daily work that name this diligence with child .
Best Bar & Grill, No-Grill Category
Winner : Montero Bar & Grill , Brooklyn , NYMany bar have had high hopes of dish out burgers , child and pies to hungry client , only to shut down the kitchen after the 5th chef fall by the wayside without observation . We have never seen any grounds that Montero ever had a grille , but can verify that it ’s spent at least two decadesnotserving food for thought , despite the protest of the neon sign out front . Any test that coherent deserves recognition .
World’s Worst Bar
Winner : The Buzz Factory , Dubai , United Arab EmiratesWith walls made of honeycomb comprise 1000 of live bees , the owners of this radical - high end apiary - themed Browning automatic rifle have an inside lead on the sweet stuff and nonsense . Come for the best honey - establish cocktails you ’ve ever taste , stay for the bartenders in oversized black and yellow costumes . Some have criticized the jukebox selection ( which only has medicine by The Bee Gees and Sting ) , but in our ruling , “ How Deep Is Your Love ” is just the variety of tranquillize dim electronic jamming you postulate to steel your nerves while growing a championship bee byssus . justice said what pushed The Buzz Factory over the top in this category is their day-by-day happy hour , when the waitstaff shut away all room access and windows , then releases several hundred killer bee , completely free of charge . Gives a whole new meaning to " that ’s gon na sting in the morning . "
Best Urinal Makeover
Winner : peepeeface.comUrinal amusement is the most oft - drop scene of cordial reception direction , decently behind bouncer predisposition training . We ’d be remiss if we did n’t pay homage to the one part of the bathroom that’ssupposedto be covered in weewee . And nobody does it like peepeeface .
Best American Drinking City For People Who Aren’t Sure If There Are Cocktail Bars Outside New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Chicago, And Miami
Winner : Des Moines , IowaIt may not be in that rarified social club of bars that seem to headline the Spirited Awards every yr , but Kung Fu Tap & Taco , in the heart of the Hawkeye State ’s Washington , where every day is taco day and every Nox is wheel night ( and we ai n’t spill the beans about that Williamsburg get - gear wheel beeswax ) . This place single - handedly put Des Moines in the winner ’s circle this year . well convey your A - plot next class , Omaha .
Best Guy To Pick A Fight With In A Dive Bar
succeeder : The hairy dude at Kung Fu Tap & Taco with the handlebar moustache , eye patch and sleeveless denim jacket who rely he had unnatural relations with a reptile and a cast of characters member from Baywatch . Try calling him on the Baywatch thing . If that does n’t crop , make a derogatory pun based on the name of his bike club . Then run out the door … into the branch of his fellow bike fancier . They ’re cunning when they ’re angry . And say hi to Lisa at the ER for me . Best catheter I ever had .
