On the seventh twenty-four hours , the Lord reside , likely with a delicious beer , which he made sometime in between the stars and the naked groin squealer ( thus explicate that stupefied - search affair ) . And it was honest . Really , really good . Like all heavenly gift , man hath bastardize and disrespected beer . Even the craftiness form . Passing judgment on others . Wasting and want at the same time . We ’ve taken the Lord ’s work and tarnished it with hell . But while we are but men , we can minimize our craft beer - drinking sinfulness by following these 10 commandments of craft beerdom . How you handle yourself beyond that ? Well , that ’s between you and the big guy .
Thou shalt not judge
Some prefer their stouts ice cold . Some Anglophiles advocate the gospel of warm beer to match with unnecessarily putting the letter " U " in things . Pass not opinion on those who partake in the gifts of beer in the style they most enjoy , for it is not the beer lover ’s problem to judge others ' preferences . At least to their case .
Thou shalt be generous but not pushy
Generosity of spirit and rarefied beer can help experience the key to the kingdom , but be not overly pushful . For while some might rejoice at the prospect of receiving unto him a taste of last twelvemonth ’s KBS , the guy who explicitly hates stout could find your evangelical insistence off - putting . Plus , waste not KBS , want not KBS , for there is a special sub - circle in hell for doing such .
Thou shalt not gloat
Let not your experience become your exclusive title to renown . Your pilgrimage to Belgium should not dominate your conversations , nor should your RateBeer screen name be cite in casual conversation . Speaking at length about your cellar does nothing for anybody without access to it . For thy cellar is in reality a closet , and thy boastfulness is thy downfall .
Thou shalt respect the ABV
Those who rush to consume in quantity without esteem to impingement are forever doom to excuse increasingly lewd text messages to exes the next day .
Thou shalt not speak in tongues
A firm understanding of theterminologycontained in the religious doctrine of beer is a mighty tool , but speak not in abbreviations , scientific full term , or multi - syllabic insider terms when describe your beverages of choice . That shite doth make you sound ostentatious .
Thou shalt not bait and switch
Shame befalleth those who near a political party with a six - coterie of gas station tallboys , and who then drinketh the better beer get by a friend who choose for a stumble to the bottle workshop . For their devious means and blot out thievery shall cause the ruin of at least one dark . Or , at the very least , force the thoughtful to compromise .
Thou shalt share the rare
If a gem is unearthed in the company of others who know beer , take into account that gem to be apportion openly . Spited is the man who walk the Earth talking about the toothsomeness of the contents of his glass , yet deny others a small taste perception of heaven .
Thou shalt not worship false idols
It is a mug who cracks a hype - up nursing bottle of something rare and expensive , yet continue to extol its virtue when he discovers it tastes like an Old Testament pest . For he is unknowingly encouraging others to buy it with his judgement that it is " unique " and " interesting " if he continues to praise that which sample of piss .
Thou shalt keep an open mind
Woe to the man who vow to never let an IPA touch his brim because hedid not care for the first onehe tried 10 year ago . roof of the mouth and tastes germinate . Happy is the beer juicer who is open to the journeying , and walks his path free of blinders .
Thou shalt kill
Shame be upon he who kills people , but praise be upon he who kills bomber , growler , pitchers , and kegful , for he who never blow beer shall not go athirst .
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Courtesy of Church Brew Works
