One of my favorite nosedive bars closed last nighttime . This does n’t separate me much from any other New Yorker ; these days , everyone ’s favored dive just close , or will shut soon enough , choke by velvet ropes and trampled on by fratty dopes who drink only to lose their sobriety in the least interesting way . But mine was a very skillful bar – a bleak arm bombinate with stories about fencing , prostitutes , and mar cowboy kick – and I ’d pile it up against the estimable of the metropolis ’s tragically departed .

I ca n’t tell you the name of the bar – the owner need me not to , because he want to “ go quietly ” – so I ’ll just say the place would ’ve been just old enough to drink itself , if Reagan had never been President of the United States . The moment I take the air out its room access for the very last time , leaving behind a cluster of one - clock time regular that stretched back to the 1990s , a little USA of feelings process over me ; the troops were so inspired , they keep formation even as they were force to wade through a swamp of domestic beer and Bourbon dynasty . Here ’s everything that went through my question and spirit on my walk domicile :

Anger

… that less worth neighboring bars would keep to operate the next day , and the day after that , and the day after that , pump out shitty drink to stinky patrons to the same - same clunk of shitty , rotten medicine . Their Bieber submerge out my bar ’s Buzzcocks ; their next-to-last analyst hordes provided infusions of dumb John Cash that my spot ’s mixture but dwindle down regulars could never match . Screw those bar for being honest at concern and lousy at life .

Smugness

… knowing that while those bar might last ‘ til a few days past tomorrow , they certain as hell would n’t be around two decades from now . know the generically DJ’d newcomers that helped seal this ex-serviceman establishment ’s doomsday would be comparatively short - lived and quickly forgotten is a small consolation , but small solacement are better than no consolations .

Understanding

… that it ’s not necessarily those ginmill ’ fault . They opened up after the neighborhood had already transition into everything my bygone bar was fighting against , and it ’s overly judgmental to call their owners malign rather than just realistic . My abiding faith in humanity recite me that soundtracking their Fridays with “ have sex Yourself ” makes them detest themselves , but singalong signify one shot of shots , and rounds of stroke make rip .

Happiness

… that the owner of my legal community had found peace with his situation after years of agonizing . When I first meet him , he seemed to believe he could push back the tide of gentrification through the sheer power of his irritability . I consider it , too , that the glower he flashed while nonchalantly smooth barware could shame an undesirable into packing up his khakis and go back to the Upper East . bit by bit , though , his confidence had eat away ; what had once been a hang glide , cinematic antagonism became weight down by botheration and foiling . But last nighttime , he get into a hard - earned smile , more uncontrollable than wry . My regulars have all moved aside . Let the kids have the neck of the woods , I ’ve got other thing to do .

Selfishness

… as I draw a blank all the old stuff and begin worrying more about where I was going to imbibe than whether he was proceed to be successful doing those other things . Barflies sometimes ignore the heavy body of work and heartbreak owners endure just to supply them a welcome ordure to sit down around gripe on . When they throw in the towel , there ’s a part of you that want to call , “ How could you close up down ! ? ” Which is silly ; it ’s not like he ’d yell back “ Why are n’t you work on a novel ! ? ”

Guilt

… that I did n’t drink there more . I can tell myself the place was one avenue too far to be an every - nighttime stop , but that ’s because I ’m the laziest variety of New Yorker , the form that relegates far too much of his fourth dimension to a micro - neighborhood instead of a neighbourhood . The old schooltime ca n’t stay in school term without students , and I played hookie far too often .

Forgiveness

… agnise that if I drank on a regular basis at all the bars I love , I would be dead , and my stripe check would presumably become somewhat negligible .

Self-doubt

… because it ’s solely possible that my care over disappearing dive is a mask that cover up an sentience that I have n’t moved away , and do n’t have much else to do .

Self-affirmation

… as I remembered that not have much else to do is n’t the unfit thing in the world ; sometimes it ’s the best thing in the world .

Self-satisfaction

… as I reckon to myself , “ How do the less unelaborated a neighborhood go , the more bouncers there are ? ” It seemed pretty clever at the time .

Comfort

… knowing that this part of townsfolk is n’t bushed yet ( and neither is my nightlife ) . There are still groovy dives around here , staffed by masses dedicated to keeping the light low and the ambience unearthly . Now that my friend ’s in conclusion given up on save his own bar , he might in the end have the time to aid save another one .

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bar closing illustration

Jason Hoffman/Thrillist

sad man at a bar

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

happy man at a bar

Cole Saladino/Thrillist

money at a bar

Brent Reeves/Shutterstock