Ahhh the KOA . America ’s only brand name name in outdoor sleep that still wish to spell out “ camping ” with a K. Part national park , part trailer parkland , they ’re the residential / recreational loan-blend that draw in some of the more colourful character our area has to offer .
And while you may have some obscure recollections of what these bastion of Americana were from when you were a fry , perhaps it is prison term for a little refresher . If you ’re headed to one of the over 480 Kampgrounds of America , here are 11 people you ’re probable to meet . And might just desire to avoid .
Homesteading retired couples
Nostalgic baby boomers
Hippies
The 40-year-old Eagle Scout
Sad single dads
This poor guy is overly proud of himself for " at least being a good dad , " like he ’s gon na somehow get ahead the best parent award by taking miserable youngster on a camping trip-up . Who just terminate up on their phones the whole time anyway . His two week court - sanction summer tripper is a flailing effort to out - do mom ’s new husband , and most likely end up with them leaving by Saturday afternoon and spending the rest of the vacation at Six Flags .
Leather-skinned Parrotheads
In warm weather KOAs , these are the people selling seashells or crappy thyroxin - shirts , break away dive boats , or pretty much doing anything to ensure their skin stays the color of a football . The men have long scraggly gray hair , and the ma’am wear bikinis despite their chest hanging down to their abdomen button . They think they ’re a lot younger than they are , always drinking some shitty puncher like it ’s still a fraternity party . And are utterly swingers .
Weirdly too-close families
National Lampoon ’s Vacation , if you supervene upon the Griswolds with the McCoyles . They ’ve packed six people into a 400sqft RV , and are absolutely happy expenditure three week within arm ’s reach of each other at all times . The middle kid sleep on the dining elbow room tabular array and nobody ’s upturned about it , the shower arrangements are never really excuse , and you do n’t know a soul in the refugee camp who ’s ever been inside .
Hipsters
easy spotted by the dudes with meticulous beards and warm - weather skull cap , and young woman with famers market headband . They wanted some kind of “ ironical ” Americana experience , because fuck gentrification or whatever . And will doubtlessly Instagram a picture of the balefire with some obscure quote from Woodie Guthrie .
Bikers, but not the scary kind
Super “frugal,” early retirement couples
They ’re in all likelihood not even 50 , but reckon they ’ve somehow beaten the system because they were able to retire youthful … to an recreational vehicle . They ’re typically dress in head to toe LL Bean , purchase at Goodwill because only suckers pay full price at Outdoor World . They ’ll regale you with stories about how they work jobs , but did shit like steal ketchup packets so they could “ live the lifestyle . ” Never really excuse what that “ lifestyle ” is , but it somehow involves condiment theft . They drive a motor home that acquire six miles to the gallon , are ALWAYS childless , and listen to weird Caribbean / World medicine . And will not hesitate to tell you they ’re cultured because they run into Moab in an RV and made it all the manner to Scottsdale .
A few murderers on the run
Because one of these people is DEFINITELY that . And it ’s believably Steve .
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KEY LARGO KAMPGROUND
Flickr/Tbone2
Koa Kampgrounds
JaySi/Shutterstock
Koa Kampground
