The 13 Ways You Die in a Horror Movie

" There are sure rules that one must abide by so as to successfully survive a repugnance movie , " says Jamie Kennedy in Wes Craven ’s 1996 meta - horror filmScream . To an interview of beer - imbibition teen , heliststhe various activities that will get you killed : take sex , drinking , doing drugs , and saying , " I ’ll be right back ! " It ’s a convincing argument for how to stay alive in a horror movie – but what if you ’re destinedto become flat in a horror movieand want to go out with a smasher ?

Unlike Jamie Kennedy , I ’m not here to judge you , Unknowing Character Trapped in a Scary Movie . Without you , the fleshy shank fodder , one of movie theatre ’s best literary genre would have no one to defeat . You are significant . You are essential . And you are about to perish . Here are the way that ’s going to occur .

1. You’re going to get stabbed

Let ’s get the basics out of the way : If you ’re in a horror movie , you ’re believably run short to get stabbed . penetrative blades are the favorite tool of the patronage for the major big bads from the most democratic horror franchise of all time : Jason of theFriday the 13thseries ( machete ) , Michael Myers fromHalloweenfilms ( butcher knife ) , and Freddy Krueger from theNightmare on Elm Streetmovies ( baseball mitt with very scary dagger fingers ) . If you ’re a horny coterie pleader , a neglectful babysitter , or just a sleepy teenager trying to get some exclude - eye , opportunity are you ’re going to get hack on up by this symbolically lade phallic weapon system . Run !

All of the heavy - three slasher grampus have other methods of eliminating victim – hell , Freddy drink down a gym teacher bywhipping him on the asswith towel during a steamy cascade showdown inNightmare on Elm Street 2 : Freddy ’s Revenge– but they always rejoin to the hunky-dory nontextual matter of the pang . There ’s a reason why the killer inScreamalso used a tongue : It ’s a classic . Ask Norman Bates . Ask Leatherface . take that mysterious figure lurking in the shadows right behind you .

2. You’re going to get shot

Sorry – if this happens to you , you were belike a pretty minor character who was deemed unimportant enough to die a quick , firearm - refer death . When we see guns in horror pic , they are often being shot at zombie spirit , fired by stupid cops who do n’t recognise bullets do nothing but make Jason passing riled , or attached to Rose McGowan ’s wooden leg . But there are in reality a enough number of very stupid , underwhelming gun for hire end in horror movies , including the endlessly quotable " food waste day ! " fromSilent Night , Deadly Night II . That ’s your respectable Leslie Townes Hope if you get buck in a horror moving-picture show : One daytime you will be a meme that make 12 - year - olds laugh on the internet .

3. You’re going to get decapitated

If you ’re getting decapitated in a revulsion movie , you ’re likely a little annoying . This is a punishment that ’s often dealt out to a film ’s resident chatterbox , the character that the audience harbors a not - so - secret desire to see assail with an ax – or , in the case of theHatchetmovie serial , with a hatchet . Either way , it ’s not your fault : You ’re a gumwood - manducate cheerleader , a giggle yob in a letterman crownwork , or aphotographer with a neck made for glass to slither through . You were always going to choke . ( Side short letter : Does theexploding headfromScannerscount as a decapitation ? I ’m going to argue no . Decapitation is the removal of a forefront from the consistency . That one blows up – not decapitation . )

4. You’re going to get burned

You may think there are four element , but , as a horror moving picture character , you need to really only vex about fire . ground , wind , and water supply can all do pregnant hurt in disaster movies – and yeah , What Lies Beneathhas acreepy bathtub scene– but the fire emoji is the one you want to avoid in a horror population . If Drew Barrymore pass on you the vicious oculus , you ’re toast . ( Burnt toast – you make out , because of the flaming . )

5. You’re going to get buried alive

Getting buried alive in a horror movie is a swish path to expire . First of all , it could mean that you ’re in a menstruation movie that ’s base on an Edgar Allan Poe brusque narrative that you interpret in high school . That ’s cool ! You plausibly get to tire a frock , a fancy pair of stocking , and a cloak . perchance you have the pleasure of talking politics with noted Poe cosplayerJohn Cusack . Getting buried alert is n’t as popular as it was back in the solar day of Ted Danson ’s ocean - last inCreepshow– nowadays you ’re more potential to see it in action films likeKill Billor thrillers likeBuried– but conductor Eli Roth brought it back for thebig ( deathless ) finaleof his Keanu Reeves home - invasion movieKnock , Knocklast year . If it ’s dependable enough for Keanu , it ’s good enough for you .

6. You’re going to get caught in a bear trap

Picture this : You ’re taking a stroll through the woods and meditate on all the innate beauty in the world when – SNAP – you get your foot catch in a bear gob , that menace spiked mechanical objective you remember from cartoons but probably forgot is also a deadly weapon . Sawdid a lot to aid popularize the bear trap by pioneer the " reverse bear cakehole , " a set phrase that sound just as atrocious as it is to check , but this hunter ’s tool also pops up inCabin in the Woods , Straw Dogs , and , curiously enough , The Naked Gun , where O.J. Simpson getssnared in oneafter falling face - first into a bar and before cotton on off the side of a boat . If the bear trap fits , you must acquit .

7. You’re going to get murdered with lawn equipment

So maybe you escaped the bear trap - filled timber – just caper ! – but you ’re not out of the woods yet : Rural expanse and suburb can be just as perfidious as the great outdoors . Why ? Gardening tools ! Shears , pitchforks , chainsaws , and WeedWackers are all potential threats . In M. Night Shyamalan ’s uproariously badThe Happening , we see a man get killed by a hungry , hungry riding mower , which should be a convincing argument that if you ’re in a repulsion moving-picture show , you should just never leave your house – or at least leave the gardening to someone else .

8. You’re going to get killed by a soda can

Oh , sure , lawnmowers are grievous – everyone knows that . But , a vend machine ca n’t kill you , right ? awry . While revulsion author Stephen King ’s directorial debutMaximum Overdriveis most celebrated for its vista of truck run angry , itsAC / DC score , and the fact that it ’s the only picture King ever manoeuver , you really need to recall this movie for the aspect where a vending machine run low medieval on a Little League manager and his thespian . As one Thomas Kid yell before running away as metal cans rain down like sugary motor shells : " What the hell ? "

9. You’re going to get bashed against a tree in your sleeping bag

Sometimes a slasher - pic vet needs to go to blank space to determine himself . At least , that ’s what go on inJason X , the intergalactic 10th entrance in theFriday the 13thfranchise , which answers the urgent query , " Do we need a Jason - in - space film with a reference to Andrei Tarkovsky’sSolaris ? " The answer is clearly yes . While many go to bat for the film’shead - freeze liquid nitrogen scene , you should pay extra attention to this satiric virtual - world scene where the UberJason kills two motor home by slam their quiescence bags together like drumsticks . Not - so - sweet dreams .

10. You’re going to get trapped in a tanning bed with your BFF and baked alive

You ca n’t even get a tan in a horror film without fall victim to some supernatural guile . Of all the silly deaths unleash by the Rube Goldberg - inspiredFinal Destinationfranchise , which is very much due for another sequel or a reboot at this point , the violentcrisping via tanning bedis the one that will live everlastingly . It ’s horror asJersey Shorelifestyle porn : gym , tan , death .

11. You’re going to get pelted with CDs by a CD-shooting monster

So , you ’re a ' 90s metal fan with a Chainsaw Kittens T - shirt hanging out at the popular nightclub The Boiler Room , which is where all the cool sunburn - outs congregate to smoke cigarette , drink beers , and listen to shitty music . Well , you better be able to escape in those big fateful boots because you ’re inHellraiser III : infernal region on Earthand there ’s acenobite with a candela private road for a mouthchasing you . It ’d only be more ' 90s if it chased you into an empty Sam Goody and impaled you with House of Pain CDs .

12. You’re going to get stabbed by a hidden orifice under someone’s armpit

heaps of citizenry care to talk about the exploding top dog inScannersas the peak of David Cronenberg ’s perverted body horror , but here ’s one that will get you : the creepy axillary cavity tone-beginning . If you ’ve never see the Canadian theater director ’s 1977 filmRabidstarring Marilyn Chambers , here ’s what you need to know : If a beautiful woman approach you in a blistering tub and wants to show you her axillary cavity , appease aside . There ’s a very in effect chance she ’s get a little cut underneath there and she ’s go to kill you with it .

13. You’re going to get your genitals bit off

Not sure how much we really need toexplain about this very NSFW one . Or , uh , this one . Be careful out there . You are in a horror motion-picture show . All your body parts are fair secret plan .

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