If there ’s one thing I ’ve learn during my time in the UK , it ’s that , much as the Eskimos have many quarrel for snow ( or at least , so goes the cliché ) , the subject of Queen Elizabeth II have follow up with a delicious raiment of words name that special , rose-cheeked feel you get after having a potable or two ( or more ) . As London gears up to host armies of summer visitor , it ’s a utter prison term to review the honest British euphemisms – ranked from gentlest to strong – for being intoxicated from a culture that has more then met the challenge of describing it .
If these are n’t enough for you , there are a multitude of British term out there , each with their own genius for report that special fashion alcohol makes us find . In fact , the possibilities are potentially limitless :
Tippled
tipsiness chroma : LowPleasantness for others : LovelyRegrets tomorrow : MinimalThis mainstay of the English vocabulary has beenin role for over four centuries , the noun " tipple " discover a harmless amount of alcohol – that pleasant chicken feed of chard you were n’t planning on get with luncheon . In its adjectival form , " tippled " best represents that pleasant feeling you get from finishing a drink ( or two ) after a recollective day at work .
Squiffy
poisoning volume : MildPleasantness for others : DelightfulRegrets tomorrow : Depends on how good your liver isThough the exact beginning of " pixilated " is nameless , this priggish - earned run average word became associated with early 20th centuryLiberal Party Prime Minister Herbert H. " Squiffy " Asquith , who has been diplomatically characterise as having a " fondness for drink . " This state best describes someone who can still stand up prospicient enoughto address the House of Commons .
Merry
Intoxication volume : FairPleasantness for others : CharmedRegrets tomorrow : It’ll have been worth itIn many ways , this is the peak intoxication experience : deep in enough that you ’re receive a good time , but still able to remember your keys , your phone , and if you ’re lucky , to drink a Lucozade and take a yoke of aspirin before bed . If you ’ve father rosy Santa - style apple cheeks popping , you ’ve achieved prime jocosity .
Tight
Intoxication intensity : Middling to highPleasantness for others : The achromatic zoneRegrets tomorrow : tangible but manageableA gentle word used for gentlemen who might be wear thin pinstripe and straw boaters , this one can be tough for Americans who normally call back of having a boozing as " puzzle loose . " outstanding to have on hand if go for a cocktail in a private club or hotel bar .
Soused
Intoxication intensity level : DefinitePleasantness for others : depend on their relative intoxicationRegrets tomorrow : Nothing an excusatory text ca n’t fixTheoriginal meaningof this fourteenth - century Holy Writ word had to do with pickle things , i.e. , steeping them in brine , but it was n’t until the 17th century that " soused " start meaning citizenry engulf themselves in hooch . A groovy style to describe a nighttime that you ’re # sorrynotsorry about .
Out of sorts
tipsiness intensity : Oh , my , yesPleasantness for others : Hopefully not too bad?Regrets tomorrow : Just do n’t get lock outA kind of Ronseal of intoxication terms , it does what it pronounce on the tin : when you ’re in this deep , you might have fuss remember where you are , how to get home , or your admirer ’s novel boyfriend ’s name , and unintentionally call them by the old one ’s name . Most often used in appraising one ’s behavior the dayspring after:“I was really out of sorts last dark . "
Pissed
insobriety intensity : Yup . sweetness for others : Unless you were importantly bad off than everyone else , you were likely all rightRegrets tomorrow : Standard setA ruffianly one for Americans who , upon first get wind it , might imagine you nonplus really angry last Nox , instead of just make one pint too many . follow this term with an intensifier as need : absolutely pissed , perfectly pissed , incredibly pissed .
Wankered
inebriety intensity : A 2 - 1 , just shy of distinctionPleasantness for others : Surely you must be jokingRegrets tomorrow : Mostly will lie of mockingly raised eyebrowsCharacterised by the extent to which one becomes progressively objectionable – i.e. , a jerk-off – with a corresponding ascension in profligate alcohol level . Gets used frequently in a ego - deprecating manner as a condom against anything outrageous you might have said to your best mate ’s girlfriend .
Off their face
drunkenness intensity : RatherPleasantness for others : Pityingly amusedRegrets tomorrow : I should think soWe’re starting to get into the deeper end of the booze syndicate ( I cypher that had to be a matter somewhere ) and this is as good a place as any to plunge in . A delicious expression to say , though a slippery one to pull off without too much ego - recrimination the next Clarence Day . hoi polloi who are off their face generally try and pawn off indebtedness for their actions onto the boozing .
Steaming
insobriety intensity level : VeryPleasantness for others : PARTYRegrets tomorrow : What expire up must arrive downMore favour in the North , this condition beautifully appropriate the kinetic high temperature - energy of drinking , that warm notion in the face we get when we ’re feelingaaaaaaalllllright . Usually , this describes that state of emboozement when we ’ve leave behind any pretense of chivalry or tact . The phrase " I do it you , man , " is a good sign that someone has achieved steam status .
Steamboats
Intoxication intensiveness : Open throttlePleasantness for others : Who give a shit?Regrets tomorrow : The hangover will blot out specificsA sport on the above , but with a little more industry to it – I like to guess of the means large ships can only steer very easy . This is how liquored you ’d ask to be to confess to that friend of yours that you ’ve had a mystic puppy love on them for calendar month or years . Do n’t interest , you believably wo n’t remember having done so in the morning .
Monged
Intoxication strength : gone on the sofaPleasantness for others : reckon who owns the sofaRegrets tomorrow : You will wake up on the sofaMore traditionally used for marijuana - induced hazes , this describes that percentage point in the even where you just check the eff out . If you play your cards right , this come about on a comfortable chair in friendly territorial dominion . If you ’re less fortunate , permit ’s just hope you awake up before your train gets to Cockfosters .
Paralytic
insobriety intensiveness : So much for your torso being a templePleasantness for others : Un - Regrets tomorrow : Many and variousAnother fairly self - descriptive country of being , though often employed hyperbolically for effect , once you ’ve generally stopped have fun and have part dial A&E.
Arseholed
poisoning intensity : NO YOU’RE AN ARSEHOLEPleasantness for others : YEAH AND YOUR MUM TOORegrets tomorrow : I’LL TELL YOU WHO ’S GOING TO HAVE REGRETSYou’re no longer fun to anyone , except for others who are similarly arseholed , in which lawsuit you all will be KINGS OF THE BLOODY WORLD until you run out of steam and/or get picked up by the local authority .
Ratarsed
drunkenness intensity : FullPleasantness for others : NilRegrets tomorrow : AllJust like the above , but with the add style of rats .
Fucked/Fuckoed
Intoxication intensity : FuckedPleasantness for others : Fuck youRegrets tomorrow : piece of tail meFor my money , this is as bad as it gets before thing stop needing comic colloquialism to account them and start need attorneys to fend off criminal and civil penalties ( or , for that matter , doctors to help with medical remedy ) . Still , a preferred term for some , which I ’ve always set up ironic , since this state is synonymous with what many of us go for for by the end of the nighttime . Ah , the English language !
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