The 7 Stages of Living in Atlanta

Along the tragical , comedic journey we call MARTA … wait , I think life ! There are many experiences the Atlanta resident will doubtlessly undergo before she or he is a true ATLien . Like a Shakespearian sport , but with more shake asses and less tights , the stage of becoming an Atlantan , for veridical for literal , play out like routine . And they are as come :

Stage one:The pleasantly surprised stage

Where you ’re living : Buckhead . There ’s somewhere else?Where you ’re going out : Buckhead Atlanta , Havana Club , Gold Room , The Ivy , OperaYour mantra:“A whole new world ; a new fantastic point of view … ” Go - to action : Reading Yelp , Angie ’s List , Thumbtack , MyAJC , Atlanta Business Chronicle

This is the initial shock that Atlanta not only does n’t suck , but is basically a magical land of mystical wonder , freak , splendid people , chicken biscuits , and butt - naked booty clubs that are somehow socially acceptable ( and encouraged ) . The price of sustenance is passing sensible and the multifariousness is all-fired - near a model for all companionship to adopt . There are four actual time of year in the year . People go out and have fun , consume phenomenal nutrient , go to festivals , brunch , see celebrities everywhere , and never stop eating breakfast … It ’s somewhere betweenThe Love BoatandThe Love Below . There are lots of sexy citizenry who are very spiritual and apparel really spectacularly , and they ’re all much courteous than everybody else was where you just moved from . mixed dating and hold for cultural differences ! Atlanta is lovemaking !

Stage two: The adventurous stage

Where you ’re living : Midtown . credibly Atlantic Station at first , until you realize you ’re the only person survive in Atlantic Station . Then you move to West Midtown , damp your rental agreement . Where you ’re going out : EVERYWHERE ! Except Southwest Atlanta . Is there a such thing as a Southwest Atlanta?Your mantra:“It ’s Lit!”Go - to activity : see the full names and birthdays of every local famous person chef and mixologist

This is where you seek to learn everything at once . You find out how to get to all the neighborhoods and cool bit that are well approachable via major interstate going and landmark . You walk , you bike , you Uber , you Lyft . You do n’t take MARTA , but you seriously view take the Atlanta Streetcar . You learn the names of local band and rapper . You assume seersucker . You take every random tour , from Oakland Cemetery toWalking Deadfilm sets . You seat down and spill the beans to the street poet in Little Five Points . You ride by the house Rick Ross allegedly owns off Old Nat - El . Hell , you even visit the Downtown tourist traps , spelunk through Underground Atlanta ( wow ) and doing the whole World of Coca - Cola , first team , and Center for Civil and Human Rights sojourn . You selfie with The Big Chicken . You get to get it on ATL . Almost biblically .

Stage three: The I-feel-like-a-local stage

Where you ’re live : Ponce City Market , Inman Park , or Virginia Highland . West Midtown was too expensive , so you moved to a more expensive area . You ’re bleeding out your savings account statement , but so is everybody else . Where you ’re croak out : Ponce City Market , Virginia - Highland , Krog Street Market , and Inman Quarter . Exclusively . Your mantra:“ATL , shawty!”Go - to natural action : explain the difference between the beef jerkies you could buy at Ponce City Market , Inman Quarter , and Krog Street Market .

This is where you exact the metropolis and act as if you were really from Atlanta … like everybody else that ’s not really from Atlanta . There ’s a immature variation of you in townsfolk , and even though you ’ve been here less than six months , you experience like a savant of the experience . Some of the sparkle has leave your eyes though . You only derive pleasure from reanimate the surprise that others find when they first discovered The A. You ’ll still casually escort , whether that means court romance , food , hipster bars , or shopping shopping centre and boutique stores , but you ’re no longer aroused . Why ? hold back … Oh shit , it ’s because …

Stage four: The OK-I’m-actually-a-local-now stage

Where you ’re living : Kirkwood , Little Five Points , or maybe East Atlanta Village . You might even have bought a house in the West End . peradventure Decatur if you may find a nice woke neighborhood near Whole Foods . Where you ’re going out : East Atlanta Village bars like The Earl , Noni ’s , The Sound Table , Music Room , Boulevard & Edgewood , Octane , and various coffee shops . Your mantra:“Out here in the A"Go - to activity : hang neighborhood establishment meeting , nodding . Saying things . lead out for drinks by and by . mellow - fiving Kwanza Hall when you escape into him .

Something pass off and you realize thing are n’t perfect in Atlanta . It could be falling for the local sports hoopla , which hahaha , c’m on ! Dude / Girl , wake up ! ATL is not a Ithiel Town for winning team . Perhaps it ’s the inequality . Atlanta is doing poorly when it comes to beating internal norm on things like income inequality . Or maybe it ’s plainly the traffic , which never makes sense because people always take to be victim of whatever the cable car ahead of them is doing . If only common people remembered that the highways and intersection were made for people who desire to go far somewhere peacefully and sharply , there ’d be less bottleneck on the truehearted lane on 400N.

Stage five:The WTF am I doing here? stage

Where you ’re living : East Point or Lawrenceville . perchance even Douglasville . Snellville ? Damn . Where you ’re going out : The sovereign and other random puddle hall . Your mantra:“You know what ? Fuck you , Atlanta . ”Go - to activity : drink in stock cocktails , walking to the Freedom Parkway bridge , asterisk out aimlessly at dealings until you start hallucinate that the city really is how it looks onThe Walking Dead .

dealings is like playing Tetris with cars , and every day you lose . People in Atlanta pretend to have more money than they do , and that ’s mostly because they tout it all hold out above their agency until they realized they could have played it impudent and lived a less - ridiculous modus vivendi . look , are you sing about yourself ? No … could n’t be ! You ’re talking about thoseotherpeople who do n’t apply MARTA , and cerebrate everybody should have enough money to subsist in Buckhead or West Midtown . And yo , what the hell is really good with all this pollen ? You are die .

Stage six: The coming to terms stage

Where you ’re live : Old Fourth Ward . by all odds not Ponce City Market – that money is gone . Where you ’re go out : Eats , The Dwarf House , The Albert , The Majestic Diner , Landmark Diner , possibly the new Kroger that has the bar . Your mantra:“Long hair do n’t care ”

The only affair leave to do with your biography is rust until you feel no pain . Atlanta tricked you , but it ’s okay , because that ’s animation . You see all the pretty multitude who have upright jobs , and even though your job is good , it should be … better . You should have that Brookhaven condo you merit , but you do n’t . You vape now . You find yourself drinking a mickle of high - ABV IPAs , and you ’re growing a passably sarcastic beard , which weirds out all your friends because you ca n’t in reality grow a full whiskers . You have not a care in the world . The illusion has been shattered . Atlanta is not New York , LA , Chicago , DC , San Francisco , Miami , Austin , Portland , or even Cleveland . It ’s a sexier Nashville with ostensibly better people . Maybe they are n’t so bad . Maybe you needed to find the deeper meaning of ATL , which is that the ATL so many mass lionize does n’t exist . Maybe your dream had to die in rescript to be born-again ? Maybe you require another IPA .

Stage seven:Acceptance

Where you ’re living : Westside . Not the glamourous West Midtown , unless you determine someone ’s abandoned loft and squat . Where you ’re hanging out : The airport , followed by Miami , New York , LA , Chicago , DC … Your mantra:“I love Atlanta . I can die now . ”Go - to activity : Being an adult and take trips out of town you ca n’t really open .

call back the conclusion of1984 , where the hero has successfully been brainwashed and feel so much pride for Big Brother , in whose name he is about to be put to dying ? pamperer alarum : that ’s you . Atlanta is undefeated , and you are the latest person to experience the transition it takes you through . Just because Atlanta feels like a bastard Hollywood does n’t entail it is . Eventually , everybody comes to terms with the fact that there are limits to Atlanta , including no real beach , no gambling , no easy commutes , and no path to sustain bread and butter in Brookhaven or Dunwoody unless you ’re already rich . But really , you would n’t have liked that as a farseeing - terminus thing anyway . And for sure , Atlanta wore you down . But you assume it and wear it like a badge of pureness . And now you live where cool multitude live , which is way better than Brookhaven anyways .

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