The 7 Stages of Living in Chicago

Moving to Chicago can be an heart - opening experience – peculiarly if you ’ve never live in a metropolis with a population of millions . Even if you get in here filled with bro - tastic dreams and Carrie Bradshaw wish , you ’ll undoubtedly transform into a engagement - tested pragmatist ( hardened by wind chills and flushed light cameras ) if you stick around this city long enough . These are various phases of culture shock absorber that will go under in for predictable transplants who choose Chicago as their stomping primer .

Stage one: “I’M IN THE BIG CITY!” phase

Where you ’re living : Wrigleyville . Where you ’re going out : Clark St , duh . Your mantra:“Here ’s to the nights we do n’t remember and the friends we wo n’t forget . ”Go - to activity : Day - imbibing , dark - drinking , this fille summarize it uppretty accurately .

Much like the Lee Brice song you shoehorn into Instagram hashtags , your first yr in Chicago probably will be a fuzz . Given the amount of times you ’ve wound up exclaim on the kerb , that ’s actually a boon . You ’re , like , totallyaware that there ’s more to the metropolis than Lakeview , but the close you ’ve gotten to any other neighborhood is passing through while taking the Brown Line , River North number as fork out , veracious ? Thanks to your preference for squeal at 4 am for no apparent ground and/or press with your bros , your neighbor have begin to execrate your existence .

Stage two: The full-fledged Trixie/Chad phase

Where you ’re living : Lakeview EastWhere you ’re going out : River NorthYour mantra:“The summers heretotallymake winter deserving it!”Go - to activeness : urgently trying to befriend someone with a boat .

Now that you ’ve been in the city for a bit , you ’re lastly quick to move into a “ uprise up ” apartment . Lakeview East does the trick , as it ’s penny-pinching enough for you to meander home after the bar , but still far enough away to seem a little more mature . If you ’re female , you ’ve begun shop at at Lululemon even if you do n’t in reality do yoga ( you really just want a Lululemon purse to hold your lunch in ) . valet de chambre : you ’ve finally place in your very first depressed gingham J. Crew shirt couple with a North Face jacket , of course . While you still hit up Clark St , you ’ve started exploring new bar … like the Moe ’s Cantina and Barleycorn . Of naturally , once it ’s summer , you spent all of your free metre playing traveling bag at various street fete , when you ’re not at North Ave beach , of form .

Stage three: The “I’mtotallya Chicagoan” phase

Where you ’re living : Wicker ParkWhere you ’re proceed out : Anywhere but WrigleyvilleYour mantra:“Ugh , suburbanite . ”Go - to activity : Improv classes at Second City

After several years in the city , you ’re feeling hard ensconced in the local acculturation , despite the fact that you still have n’t work up the courage to take the bus . In an attack to prove your innate Chicago - ness , you now roll your eye at the mere cite of Wrigleyville and take every opportunity to make snide remarks about suburbanites , transplantation , and tourist . Of course , you ’ve deleted all photographic evidence of having ever been one of them . You get your first tattoo – a Chicago pin , natch . You did n’t realize until a snarky native quizzed you on its meaning that there really was a significance .

Stage four: The “this city is losing its luster” phase

Where you ’re living : Ukrainian VillageWhere you ’re going out : The cool raw bar / eatery de jour , according to InstagramYour mantra:“Remember when Wicker Park was actually cool?”Go - to activity : celebrate Taco Tuesday and Wine Wednesday

After having to move out of Wicker Park because you may no longer give it , you move to the next good thing : Ukrainian Village ( aka Wicker Park pre-2010 ) . Unfortunately , you start to feel like you do n’t actually fit in , as you are neither a flower child nor a local , and there are like , noStarbucks near your flat . Subsequently , you spend all of your free time in Wicker Park , all while deplore how “ mainstream ” the area has become .

Stage five: The “slowly becoming disengaged” phase

Where you ’re living : Rogers ParkWhere you ’re going out : River North , solely due to its proximity to your officeYour mantra:“I’d sexual love to come , but I already have architectural plan ! ” ( bout - follow Netflix look as plans , right??)Go - to natural process : drunkenness after study , because you ’re too tired for anything else

In a bid to save money in edict to buy a place sometime before you ’re 50 , you relocate to Rogers Park . You secretly detest the field , yet regale your admirer with tales of your proximity to beautiful beaches whenever you see them at happy hour , which is now the only time the great unwashed will agree to meet up . Anyway , whatever – you ’re too preoccupied with training for your first half marathon . In a bidding to make yourself feel better , you signalize up for Tinder and go on an steep amount of terrible first dates .

Stage six: The “cynical Chicagoan” phase

Where you ’re living : Rogers Park . ( And no , you still have n’t started to save money as planned.)Where you ’re run low out : Slashies– the more divey , the better . Your mantra:“Will it ever be summer again?”Go - to activity : snapshot of Malort with citizenry even more nihilistic than you are

After living the good part of a tenner in Chicago , you suddenly make that half of your fellow transplants have fled the city . Your good ally got married and move to Naperville , which heswearshas everything that Chicago has without the bother ( what a liar ) . A few others move to places like Dallas , citing affordability ( Texas ? REALLY ? ? ) . You come to actualise that pestering Lee Brice strain you assert upon quoting when you were 22 was total BS , as you only see your old friends once a year , usually when you ’re push to wait on someone ’s wedding . At some full stop , you start to daydream about moving somewhere warm like LA , until you remember that you detest everyone in that city .

Stage seven: Acceptance

Where you ’re live : Lincoln SquareWhere you ’re decease out : Anywhere that ’s not filled with citizenry going through Stages One through FiveYour mantra:“Why wo n’t those objectionable female child across the street stop shrieking?!”Go - to action : Complaining about everything from local politics to brave out to your pet local squad .

If you ’ve outlive this long , you ’ve formally earned the right tocall yourself a Chicagoan . While you still appreciate the trendier parts of the urban center , anytime you really venture into one of them , you ’re quickly reminded why you locomote to a “ normal ” neighborhood . for certain , the winters are horrid , the city is corrupt , and the tax rate are outrageous , but Chicago has officially become home , and there ’s nowhere else you ’d rather be .

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Lisa Chatroopis a native Chicagoan who has lived around wayyy too many shrieking " Stage One " transplants . Say hi on Twitter:@ChicagoistaorDailyUrbanista.com .

CHI big city gal