Chicago has a strongly enforced " respect the city or GTFO " policy when it come to interlopers , one that ’s been employed on the ilk of A.J. Pierzynski and Donald Trump . The latest outsider to obtain the wrath of Chicagoans : Brianna and Jaelin White , author of the Youtube video " The Reason We ’re Homeless Right Now ( No Clickbait ) Storytime " ( which has since wisely been rename " Our Chicago Story " ) who moved to Edgewater this summer , only to flee the city less than 24 hours later .
It ’s a narration as old as time – an 18 - year - quondam marital couple from Arizona heads to the large metropolis to make it , takes book binding from a “ sketchy ” guy at bottom of a Subway , the husband gets perforate in the face , loses a skid , and they hunt back home to momma and dad having learned a unvoiced object lesson in both street smartness and internet public relations . On Tuesday dark , the Whites ' saga was commemorated with a snark - filledBrianna and Jaelin Walking Tourand , for veneration of escape out , I slue on my okay fake polo shirt and headed to be in the middle of the action .
If you ’re unfamiliar with the local viral sensations and bid to reduce your lifespan by 16 instant , the sordid story is all outlinedhere . If you ’d prefer not to ascertain / re - watch the telecasting , thereby mitigating the flow of YouTube ad tax income , then the lineation proceed roughly as follows . Doe - eyed Jaelin and Brianna excitedly depart from their family line in Phoenix , AZ to Edgewater only to change by reversal around and fly home without drop a individual night in their new apartment after a humans who they key out as " not roofless " bother them from outside a sandwich shop and " punched " Jaelin in the face . Like any model millennial , the couple took to vlogging a recap of the torturesome experience – unadulterated with feigned grinning and laugh – from the safety of their uncle ’s marble counter - topped menage back home .
Zack Shornick/Thrillist
Sure , street molestation is an issue , no one wants to be bother waiting for the Red Line , but is Edgewater really all that bad a locality ? I ’ve hold up in Chicago a tenner now , so maybe I ’m jaded to the events of their story . Or is it that I ’m just smart enough not to actively confront someone who ’s followed me around all night ? Or maybe I just ca n’t take in earnest a pair of teenagers laughing off a “ tragic ” event on the internet like they ’re retelling another level about the time their server spilled a tray of pop and breadsticks at Olive Garden .
I ’m not alone . It seems Chicagoans from every turning point of the city have unite in their condescension for the untested couple . The peculiarity and enthrallment behind the inside Whites ' tarradiddle was a common theme amongst attendant of the walk tour .
I arrive at the benches of Berger Park overlooking the lake at 6:45pm . It was a sticky 91 level and the Lord’s Day was setting . I only saw a few people gathered around , each of them looking at their earphone . It was n’t clear if they were certifying the meeting place on Facebook or playingPokémon Go , but I recognized our host , three - month Edgewater occupier Kevin Fergus , stand amongst a friendly radical of “ tour guide ” and eff I was in the correct point .
Zack Shornick/Thrillist
We all mused on obsess doll and gamy school yearbooks as more people dribble in ; Kevin ’s infectious laugh squealing with delight . A crowd gathered and someone holler “ It ’s genuine ! ” “ It ’s happening , ” replied recent West Town transplant Martin Ryder , “ but I do n’t fuck if it ’s real . ”
Ryder , who moved in November from Washington Heights in New York City could n’t trust the White ’s video . “ I ’ve dwell in solid food comeupance . This billet is beautiful , ” he say .
Also among the crowd were AJ Nichols and Minchah Chevalier , a couple be in Roscoe Village and the only brace to get along spruced up in “ Jael - anna ” cosplay . They ’d go out to thrift stores to purchase clothes detail by Brianna in the White ’s video . “ We just came out for some sound laughs , ” say Minchah . “ I got one and a one-half minutes into the TV and almost cried . I was hyper - ventilating . ” She ’d also gotten half - way through Brianna and Jaelin ’s marriage video recording just to see what variety of people they were . More bravery than I could muster .
Zack Shornick/Thrillist
AJ , who is in real acres like Jaelinn , was just happy that there was a charitable aspect to the walk tour , say “ even if we can raise $ 200 for charity – it ’s more than the Whites would ’ve done . ”
Eventually Kevin and his squad split the crowd into groups for the tour . As he and Nikki Loehr take my grouping to the first proper halt on the go , we passed the Berger Park Coach House where Jaelin “ committed all his slaying , ” a mid - rise flat building full of Time Lords , and the haunted convent which is now also Sacred Heart School . Meanwhile , the gang was on a term of enlistment of their own making – place out various life-threatening landmarks to each other . Everyone have intercourse the video inside - out and we were all quick to share it with each other . This whole night was a put-on we were all in on .
We in conclusion reached the first official stop on the tour : the Granville Redline Platform . We stayed at ground layer , though , because no one wanted to cough up $ 5 for a ticket to ride . And just below sat the Loyola Campus Police equipped with real live security policeman . We stared in joy – some of us livestreaming the outcome – as the first of many “ Is that their Uber ? ” jokes was vocalized .
Zack Shornick/Thrillist
Next came the existent Subway eatery where the Phoenicians hid from their nameless foe . While no one will ever know what sandwich Brianna ordered and almost threw up that disastrous Nox – the only detail she left out of her dateless story – we did learn what sort of shoe was almost lost . A great question from a man in a Sox tee , Kevin slyly answer “ believably boat shoe ” to a gleeful response .
Then a VW Jetta passed by . “ That ’s their automobile , ” someone erupted . “ See , you ca n’t even fit a bed in there , ” retorted our guides .
As we steer onward to our next arrest , a still voice behind me reveal she “ did n’t know how much danger could happen in a single mental block . It ’s scary . ” The crack cocaine do from Alicia O’Dell , a young woman visiting from Boston for the week , “ but I wo n’t be come back . you may quote me on that . ” The fear waspalpable .
We made our way to the CVS to where Brianna and Jaelin had fled and then across the street to 1210 W Granville – the supposed flat building in question which had a “ For Rent ” sign posted above the door . We accede our heads in a moment of silence for the homeless vernal couple , but it was n’t much fourth dimension before a machine sped by , the gadget driver shouting “ Do you guys require an Uber ? ! ”
The turn finish here and our guide was enthralled with the warm turnout . Originally from Des Plains , Kevin Fergus was happy to have such a great response and raise some money forCare for Real– a local neighborhood charity bring home the bacon food , clothing , and counseling services to those in pauperization .
Smiling and spent , Kevin and Nikki said cheerio to the crowd and fearlessly walk home . His only advice for the relief of us : “ Just do n’t repeatedly face people who weird you out ! ”
It was a beautiful night seeing the great unwashed of all age and background hail together in straight Chicago way . The tour was over , but I was not done . First I stopped atRevival Social Clubfor their fitly titled one - night - only specials , “ The Punch ” and “ The WhiteWhineSpritz . ” A few other go - goers joined me , seeking asylum from the White ’s yet - to - be - hitch attacker .
I did n’t stay long , though . It was buzz off previous and I made it my mission to finish what the young couple had bulge out : get Chipotle and go to sleep in my own Ikea layer .
And I did , too . Withoutgetting myself punch in the face .
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