It ’s no exaggeration to say thatGame of Throneshas rent over America . But what if the massively popular HBO serieswasAmerica ?
For the past few week , we ’ve spent an excessive amount of metre argue about whichGame of Thronescharacter best represents each state in our great labor union . We factor out in the stereotype , political relation , weather condition , celebrity , and other things associated with these United States of America to lend you what we depose , on the Old Gods and the New , is the perfect , strong lineup . So pay attention , because this inclination is non-white and full of terrors .
Alabama
Lancel LannisterIrrationally spiritual , with a scandalous past .
Alaska
The Night ’s KingFew multitude consider he ’s real , seems to have a lot of secrets , and will straight up slaying you if you ’re unprepared .
Arizona
Jaime LannisterTan . From elsewhere originally . Would emphatically leave in the 7th frame of a Diamondbacks game to beat traffic .
Arkansas
GillySmarter than she look , and yet : still a hillbilly dating a fertile guy with a scraggly beard .
California
King Tommen BaratheonBlond and easily duped , brawny but fumbling with said exponent , impressed by girls ' boobs and wacky religions .
Colorado
Jorah MormontAthletic , secretly wealthy , with a sun - tan , weathered boldness . Incessantly trying to sleep with a younger woman .
Connecticut
Joffrey BaratheonRich , bratty , emotionally unnerving . by all odds PG’d at Taft .
Delaware
That guy cable Ned Stark accomplish in the pilotNo one remembers that Delaware is the first state either .
Florida
" frantic " King Aerys II TargaryenSenile , moneyed , paranoid , prone to random outbursts of insanity . Pretty sure-footed that he will finally turn into a flying lizard .
Georgia
Janos SlyntDoesnotdo wellin cold weather .
Hawaii
Sansa StarkUnspoiled and beautiful , until evil outside force wreak havoc on her . Understandably raging .
Idaho
Mance RayderAn anti - big political science Libertarian with his own reserves .
Illinois
VarysA fan of back - room dealings , ca n’t find testicles for much of the twelvemonth ( on invoice of the cold weather condition , OK ? ! ? ) .
Indiana
Catelyn StarkWholesome , sept - orient , yet prone to terrible lapse in judgment ( see : continuing veneration to Bobby Knight ) .
Iowa
Brynden " Blackfish " TullyUnimpressed by urban center folk , scarily hard-nosed , has a byname that somehow involves sportfishing .
Kansas
HodorJust supplant " Hodor " with " Rock Chalk . "
Kentucky
Khal DrogoFond of horses , elaborate headwear , and skinny blonde cleaning woman who ’ve seen some shit .
Louisiana
Robert BaratheonHedonistic party animal , passionate huntsman , often drinks things he should n’t .
Maine
Euron GreyjoyWildly unpredictable , good on the water , has weirdly blue lip ( from the delicious blueberries ) .
Maryland
Davos SeaworthHis name sounds the most like " Old Bay . "
Massachusetts
Theon GreyjoyThe Iron Islands are basically a thinly veiled version of Weymouth .
Michigan
Arya StarkDoesn’t like it when her people get dissed . Has a whole other side you would n’t expect .
Minnesota
Bran StarkSerious and broody , has intense and prophetic wintertime dreams , loves wolf , enjoys capture piggyback rides .
Mississippi
The High SparrowIntolerantly religious , but folksy as hellhole . Er , heck .
Missouri
Edmure TullyUncomfortably tie in to another position , mostly release to its fate . Hometown is on a major river .
Montana
The MountainBig , bestial , monosyllabic , but beautiful in a means . Plus I ’m pretty sure Montana intend Mountain - ah .
Nebraska
Brienne of TarthShe should just call her blade " Winter Wheat . "
Nevada
Daenerys TargaryenDragons are Vegas : showy and unpredictable spectacle THAT WILL EVENTUALLY KILL YOU IN A TREMENDOUS BALL OF FIRE . Or whatever .
New Hampshire
Stannis BaratheonMostly cold , but internally convinced he has a power no one else really sees .
New Jersey
Petyr Baelish , aka LittlefingerLurks on the fringe of and envious of expectant tycoon , and always give off the vibration that he ’s about to do something unbecoming .
New Mexico
MelisandreMuch respect for fires . newfangled - agey . Alternates between breathtaking exquisite beauty and some secretly quite slimy role .
New York
Tyrion LannisterThinks he ’s smarter than everyone else , drinks too much , fix - tamp a stack of conflicting things into a diminished infinite . Has tendency to face hoi polloi on the toilet .
North Carolina
Margaery TyrellVery pretty and wizard and at least pretends to be God - fear . Definitely hiding something .
North Dakota
Benjen StarkCould have never hail back and no one would have noticed except consipracy theorists . His hands are SO COLD .
Ohio
Walder FreyPower - player due in gravid part to central geographical stance near major rivers . Sneaky illegitimate but bizarrely influential . Holds grudge . Oh wow does he hold up grudges .
Oklahoma
Lysa ArrynShe ’s sick like an F5 crack cocaine and those strict alcohol laws that result in weak beer . All thing being equal , she’dsooner(get it ? ) push you out the moon door . ( Oklahoma was tough , OK ? )
Oregon
YgritteEffortlessly libber . Not too concerned about hygiene . Unnaturally gifted at a mostly useless acquirement .
Pennsylvania
Robb StarkStubborn , hot - headed , from an old theatre . Had brotherly passion . A Penn State form of guy wire thrust into a U. Penn kind of earth .
Rhode Island
Lyanna MormontSO SMALL , SO FIERY . Only has 62 men .
South Carolina
Balon GreyjoyFiercely independent , attempts to discontinue aside from the other place . Not happy about the fact that his son end up inhabit in the North .
South Dakota
Ned StarkActively seems to revel the cold . respectable in a somewhat tragical fashion . notable for having a head separated from his body and placed next to other brain for masses to gawk at .
Tennessee
Tormund GiantsbaneA small morsel country , a little bit rock ' n ' roll . Has a show beard . Likely already the name of a band in Nashville anyway .
Texas
Cersei LannisterAesthetically pleasing debutante , amount from a ton of money . Can be mean , and you do n’t want to mess up with her , but also middling great if you ’re on her side . Has no trouble pass away it alone .
Utah
CrasterIt just works too well – gloomy , Utahns !
Vermont
The Children of the ForestDamn hippies .
Virginia
Olenna TyrellAbides by no bullshit , says impudent affair . Has pleasing accent even when verbally rend you apart . continue nice garden . Southern .
Washington
Jon SnowOn a margin but polar . Does n’t see a ton of skillful conditions . Sad a lot . So Microsoft . So grunge .
West Virginia
The HoundCast apart by magnanimous brother , exit for dead , keep back coming back . Bad experiences with mountains .
Wisconsin
Samwell TarlyPortly , well educate , savor tall mallow . Comes from family of hunters but hates to hunt . Had to fend off a White Walker with a piece of music of dragonglass .
Wyoming
Tywin LannisterCold as underworld , but slick . Old , but still handsome . decidedly would blast someone in the face while hunting , then blame it on that person . Always ante up its debts .
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Click image to enlarge|Daniel Fishel/Thrillist
Jaime Lannister, horsing around in Phoenix.|HBO
Sansa and Margaery tour ‘Iolani Palace.|HBO
Hodor actually means hoe the dirt.|HBO
Arya waits for the Muskegon ferry.|HBO
Dany rides Drogon outside of the Luxor.|HBO
Margaery Tyrell bleeds Carolina blue.|HBO
Lyanna Mormont abides no RISD students.|HBO
Don’t mess with Cersei.|HBO
Jon Snow rocks the grunge look.|HBO